tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40198018244462916622024-01-07T23:57:10.521-08:00jobs4yourfiredassA Humor Blog about People and Events in the News that Inspire Fun and New Job Ideas!firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-7018594870281592562012-05-29T18:56:00.000-07:002012-05-29T19:13:49.439-07:00"Those who can't do, teach...<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Or they write a book and become experts. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Like moi. I wrote and published a book- "<em>Thank You for Firing Me! How to Catch the Next Wave of Success After Your Lose Your Job</em>." It's about how you can find a career that you love. It's done pretty well, but I am certainly not getting rich. The book did garner rave reviews in TIME and I went on national TV (Fox...BetterTV), Librarians loved it and I have a column on how to find a gig. (The San Diego Reader. )</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The trouble is-<em> </em></span><span style="font-size: x-large;"><em>I can't find a job!</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Oh sure, I still freelance...been doing it forever, but I'm tired of begging for payment or being asked to write for $5 bucks an article or even worse- for free. (Seriously, I have written/placed more than 5000 articles for the NY Times and other big-time...and small time publications and organizations. I don't do free!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So in December of 2011 I started applying for real, honest-to-God jobs. With bi-weekly paychecks and health benefits and paid vacations. I <em>WANT</em> to put on real clothes each day- yoga pants and a bra is not office attire- and I want to hang out with my co-workers and gossip and complain about the boss/client.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But no one wants me!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Seriously! To date I have applied for 164 jobs for which I am completely qualified. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have been interviewed 24 times on the phone. I have been interviewed in-person five times. You do the math. (I can't, I'm a writer.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have been offered zero jobs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm not sure if it's because I am too friendly or too pretty/unattractive/thin/busty or my hair is too curly. I don't swear and I listen and smile and practice all the hard questions. I use deodorant, I dress the part- HEY, I wrote a book about this stuff, I know what to do!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyPwi9sPm-hkH2B8Ja50xmG7UWZybZtTrwJ990c3k6-FL0GRduehyAkhPbZd8XPllfz91u0LphzPaFo0LvJWdAb-i8Fjje8COa4T6gLVHj2EbgGwzKQiUNOHpE4r2vVTzNiSDji8gYL5W7/s1600/book+and+candi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="350" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyPwi9sPm-hkH2B8Ja50xmG7UWZybZtTrwJ990c3k6-FL0GRduehyAkhPbZd8XPllfz91u0LphzPaFo0LvJWdAb-i8Fjje8COa4T6gLVHj2EbgGwzKQiUNOHpE4r2vVTzNiSDji8gYL5W7/s400/book+and+candi.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Sigh...at least I still have a sense of humor...or do I? (I tend to laugh at my own jokes...maybe THAT'S the problem.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Starting today I am going to change up the blog a little and start writing about some of the interviews I've experianced and the people I've met. Hopefully this will keep me from going back to waitressing (love the job but my feet/back do not!) or going insane. I also hope it will help others find inspiration and hope...and maybe a laugh or two. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Stay tuned...I've got some good ones!</span><br />
<br />firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-27795478362365547672012-03-26T13:26:00.000-07:002012-03-26T13:26:05.699-07:00Need A Boss- Not A Bully!<span style="font-size: large;">Times are tough in the job market these days- especially for writers, journalists and anyone who has anything to do with PR. Some people spend hours each day trying their best to fill out forms on complecated job websites while creating interesting ways to sell themselves while watching their car be repoed.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVpSFxMzYjqvbQCg8zH0-4ezSpscB1OcvStSQ5O_cLRfUOkvSkkF9Uhk_7YGWZ_-A3JCBGqv5_kGhyD7k1XE0CQI4au5Za99z4hCx83loxBdLOZIWCFyD6AxMVQQNC-K7erMwE1nn0RnUp/s1600/badboss2-273x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVpSFxMzYjqvbQCg8zH0-4ezSpscB1OcvStSQ5O_cLRfUOkvSkkF9Uhk_7YGWZ_-A3JCBGqv5_kGhyD7k1XE0CQI4au5Za99z4hCx83loxBdLOZIWCFyD6AxMVQQNC-K7erMwE1nn0RnUp/s400/badboss2-273x300.jpg" width="364" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So this email reply for a $1500 a month gig that this Green Blogger sent to about 900 rejected applicants is about as smug and self-righteous as we've ever seen. A simple, "No thank you," would have worked. Seems like he decided to kick people one more time when they were down, but maybe we're wrong.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">You be the judge-</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Hello,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">If you're reading this, it means that you applied for one of the positions open at my new clean tech news site (this ad-> <a href="http://louisville.craigslist.org/wri/2894902027.html" target="_blank">http://louisville.craigslist.<wbr></wbr>org/wri/2894902027.html</a>). I'm XX and it's been my job to do the first read-through of the 900+ applications that have poured in as a result of our ad.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I have gone through each of the applications as they have come in and picked out the best 50 or so to be passed into the second round of consideration. Some of you are amazing candidates that I am really excited to learn more about. Those of you who are passed into the second round of consideration will be hearing from us soon, if you haven't been contacted by us already.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Others applications have come in from strong writers who just aren't a great fit for what we are trying to do. When you have a pool of 900+ applications, you can be picky, and we passed over many worthy people simply because they don't have enough experience in clean technology and green media. I would advise anyone without enough of the right experience who wants to break into environmental writing to start a personal blog and write about the things you want to get paid to cover. You are welcome to get back in touch with us in the future after you’ve built a more focused portfolio.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Beyond those two groups, there were applications that were skipped over after just a quick read—the brutal truth is that the very worst applications got less than a few seconds of consideration. Often I could tell from the first few words of an application that it would be passed over. I was helped by the fact that we are hiring writers; if a person can't craft a good email applying for a writing job, she’s unlikely to be the kind of writer we are looking to hire.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">As I went through your applications, I couldn't help but jot down ideas on how some of you could improve your job hunting email skills. As evidenced by the response to our ad, there are a lot of people out there looking for work right now and you need every advantage that you can get if you want to beat them to a good job. If your application email sucks, you are going to be left looking for work for a long time because you will get flushed out with the first filter every time you apply for a job. Some of your applications are that bad.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I have broken my suggestions down into a list of 42 writing job application dos and don’ts.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Good luck.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Do be a badass.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I actually hired one of the 900+ applicants within minutes of reading his application. He writes for a popular site that I'm a huge fan of and is a terrifically talented writer. After I first read his email, I looked up his writing and found a lot of articles that I have enjoyed over the years. I replied back asking if he'd like to work for us. Later that day, his friend and colleague applied and was similarly insta-hired. These two guys are dream hires for us (don't tell them that though, don't want them to get cocky around the virtual office) and it was easy to pull the trigger and bring them on board quickly.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">A lot of those applicants who passed into the second round have experience writing for outlets like the New York Times, the Huffington Post, the Washington Post, CNN, MNN, and Mashable. When I saw a portfolio link from sites like that, I quickly added the writer to the second round list and moved on to the next new application. A prominent portfolio link won't get you hired by us, but it will earn you a closer consideration.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Do read the ad and do exactly what it asks.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Here's the section of our ad that describes how to apply:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">------------------------------<wbr></wbr>------</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">…</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">If you would like to apply for any of the positions detailed above, please send an email with "Clean Tech Application" in the subject and the following information included or attached:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">- Your resume</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">- 2-3 social media links (your public Facebook account, Twitter, StumbleUpon, that kind of stuff)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">- One paragraph on why we should hire you</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">- 3-5 links to great things you have written</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Please note: We're sticklers for details.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">All initial hiring decisions will be made by April 1st.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">------------------------------<wbr></wbr>------</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I made it very clear that anyone interested in the jobs described in the ad should send an email with "Clean Tech Application" in the subject with a resume, 2-3 social media links, 3-5 links of great portfolio pieces, and a paragraph on why the applicant was worthy of a hire. Right below that I even included a strong hint that we're sticklers for details. I meant it.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The ideal application was a correctly subjected email with a paragraph of text, 2-3 social media links, and 3-5 portfolio links. It was a test for how much attention to detail you actually pay and it was a valuable tool to have in the filtering process. I didn't adhere to a strict policy of passing over applicants because they didn't exactly fit into the ideal, but when I was faced with a borderline applicant who shared eleven stories he had written, I was more inclined to pass him over.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't talk yourself into being filtered out.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">An application email is not the place for over-zealous humble self-awareness. Some of you lead your email saying that while that you may not be the greatest writer or have any experience in clean technology or an English degree or even ever blogged before, that you are ready to prove yourself with your hard work and perseverance. While I appreciate the admission of not being the perfect candidate, you don't want that to be the first thing you tell me if you want me to hire you. It shouldn't be the third or ninth either. Talk about your strengths, not your weaknesses. Let your work speak for you.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't tell me how great this job would be for you.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">One of the best things about starting up a new site like this is being able to give good work to great writers. I am happy and excited to help someone further their career goals and pay their bills, but that is not the first thing I want to read about in your application email. Focus on telling me how you can help out our organization.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't boast about how many articles or posts you have written.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I'm not impressed by someone who has "written more than 10,000 posts!". I might be impressed by someone who has over ten years years of experience in online media, but reading someone rave about the incredible number of posts they have written usually made me click right over them.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't tell me that you are skeptical of me.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">One of you kicked off your application by telling me that you had done some research on us and that you were skeptical because the internet is a crazy place. You were an easy one to skip.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't send Squidoo links.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">No offense to Seth Godin and his fantastic team at Squidoo, but a Squidoo link probably should not be used as an example of serious writing work that you've done. I would say the same goes for anything done on Associated Content, Examiner, eHow, Mahalo, Demand Media, or any other content-farming website.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't start every sentence in your application with 'I'.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">A few of you were guilty of this one. Switch up your words.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't send me your picture.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I don't care what you look like.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Do capitalize and use punctuation.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">a job email int a txt mssg 2 ur bff</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't put your cover letter/introduction text into an attachment.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Make it easy for me to get excited about hiring you. I don't want to have to open a word document to read about why you'd be a good hire, put that up front and center in your email.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Do keep it short and sweet.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Tell me a little bit about yourself— where you've written before and a few sentences on why you are awesome. Short and sweet.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't describe yourself as zany, crazy, or wild.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Zany is not high on the lists of attributes we're looking for. I don't imagine it's high on the list of many companies, this side of birthday clown agencies.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't ask me questions.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I had 900+ email applications to go through. I'm not going to email with you and answer questions about the job on the first pass. If you want to apply, give me the information asked for in the ad. If you want to know more about me and my partners, click over to Google.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't talk about SEO.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I know it's important for a site to have good SEO and all, but I don't want to hire writers who stress their ability to write "SEO-optimized" or "keyword dense" stories. Our primary goal is to develop great content, not to try to position ourselves better for Google's spiders.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't apply using a Gmail profile picture of you making a pouty face.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">You know, like this- <a href="http://is.gd/poutylips" target="_blank">http://is.gd/poutylips</a></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't tell me how afraid of Facebook you are.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">If you are a writer who publishes work online and you're not on Facebook, you are likely to get left behind. It's important to understand how social media works and Facebook is, right now, where social media is at. Saying things like "Facebook is scary because people can steal your information" and "social media gives me no benefit" tells me you just don't get it.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Do have a good reason for why I should hire you.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The reason I want to hire you is because you're a great writer with experience covering the topics I want to focus on. You're reliable, creative, tenacious, and easy to work with. That's why I want to hire you, not because you are ready to use your degree or because you really need a job or because you love writing SO much. This one is really important—your first sentence needs to introduce you to the reader and clearly lay out why he would be crazy not to hire you. Put yourself in the mind of the person doing the hiring and tell them what you can do to make his life easier.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't write badly.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Like I said above, I am thankful that we're hiring writers. If someone can't write a good application, they're not going to be able to write a good story. Some of you are just bad writers. It's harsh, but true. Anyone can write, not everyone can get paid to do it.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't use a pen name.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">We're not going to hire a pen name. We're going to hire a person.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Do aim low if you don't have the experience.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I'm 1,000% more likely to hire someone without a strong background in green media as an intern than as a staff feature writer. If you don't have a lot of experience, you often have to start from the bottom. Working as our intern isn't glamorous, but it is an entry into the world of green media. If you don't have a particularly deep background for a job, see if there is a lower level position within the same company or industry that you are qualified for. Getting the first job is the hardest and aiming low can ease that difficulty and get your foot in the door.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Do use paragraph breaks.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">454 words is a tad much for a leading paragraph. Somewhere under 100 words is ideal. Remember- short and sweet. Your entire first email probably shouldn't be more than 250 words in all.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't ask me questions answered in the ad.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">"</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Are you by any chance looking for editors and proofreaders who can work from home?</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Yes, as we clearly stated in the ad.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't just send your resume.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Seriously. You're just wasting all of our time. The same goes for one and two sentence applications.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't use junky stats to make yourself look good.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Numbers can be a great way of quantifying the reach and impact that a writer has, but only when done with good stats. Good stats are things like your Twitter follower count, the number of fans your Facebook author page has, and the number of years that you've been working in online media. Junky stats are things like claiming the entire readership of a large site (someone bragged about how they wrote for a content farm site that pulls in more than twenty million readers a day), the number of Facebook friends you have, or vague claims like having "a following of more than 50,000." You have 11 Twitter followers and you have a following of 50,000?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't get crazy with the text formatting.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">You'd be perfectly fine if you sent everything in size 12 Helvetica or Times New Roman. There shouldn't be six different sizes and typefaces used in your email. And lay off the emotes and other little icons. I like a good :D or :) as much as any guy, and sometimes you just have to (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻) , but not in the very first email that you send me.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't use the word "passionate".</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">It's entirely over-used. Don't say you have a passion for something or are passionate about a topic. "Ever since I can remember" and "Ever since I was a little kid" showed up a lot too.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Do tell me what position you are applying for.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Preferable in the first sentence or two. A lot of applications either waited until the end of their email or left it out entirely. And saying that you would be fine with anything I have to offer comes off sounding desperate.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't send me your poetry.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I'm sure it's perfectly lovely poetry, but we're not hiring poets at the moment. Stay focused on sharing writing that shows off things that I am looking to hire for.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't bounce back and forth between the first and third person.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">It's just weird.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't brag about not doing things you're not supposed to do.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Think about it—should you really be telling me that you never have confrontational relationships with editors or that you never flake out? There is no reason to ever tell a prospective employer that you won't do something you shouldn't do. It goes without saying that you won’t get confrontational with us and that every assignment will come in on-time and spell-checked. Also, don't tell me that you don't write fluff and that you don't cut-corners. You're not supposed to do those things.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't offer to snail mail me an article that you've written.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I'll leave this one at that.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't talk shit about your current or past employers.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">File that one under Job Applyin' 101.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't waste my time by telling me you’re not going to waste my time.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">A few of you spent the first few sentences verbally dancing around with things like "Time is money, so I'll keep this brief" or "Since I am pressed to get everything into one paragraph, I won't waste any time by beating around the bush. In fact, I will not even waste your time by…" Cut the chatter and get to it. Along those lines,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• don't think aloud.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Think about what you want to say before moving your fingers to type. Saying things like this are not particularly effective—"Where do I start? How can I describe why I would be a great hire for you?" or "Why should you hire me? Blech...that question always throws me for a loop."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't tell me you have had a busy week and will be sending your resume later.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I understand not wanting to miss a window of opportunity for a job, but if you don't have everything together required of a job application, wait until you do before you send your first email. Your initial introduction to a potential employer shouldn't be one that suggests you may lack good time management skills. Or even worse was the guy who said that since he's been working in accounting for the past ten years, he doesn't have a resume to submit but that he'd be happy to share the names of people who would vouch for him.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't challenge me and my writers.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">One of you issued me a challenge to show that you are better than any of our current writers. That comes off like the drunk local guy at the pub asking to arm wrestle everyone in the joint.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't try to be funny.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Comedy is hard to get right and easy to screw up. I appreciate a good joke and a sense of humor is pretty much mandatory for fitting in with the rest of our crew, but don't treat your application like a stand up act.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't spell things wrogn.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">See what I did there? Seriously though, a misspelled word is a huge buzz kill for someone wading through a flood of job applications. It implies that you are too lazy to proof your own work or to have someone edit it for mistakes and it doomed many of your applications to be passed by.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Don't email me a novella.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">One of you sent me an 11-page resume with a 2,500+ word email. For a moment I thought Dwight Schrute was applying for a job. Short is best. A resume should be no more than two pages, the application email itself no more than a few paragraphs.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Do read everything out loud before you send it.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">And keep doing it while you edit until everything sounds like you want it to.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">• Never go anywhere without your towel.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The Universe is a strange place.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Good luck with the job hunt!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Shea</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">- Just to reiterate- if you've been accepted into the second round of consideration, you will hear from us directly, if you haven't been contacted already. If you don't hear anything more from us it means that you got passed over. Please don't email me to ask about the status of your application. Thanks!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Green Blogger & Social Media Guy</span>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-7319705905428910242012-03-06T11:27:00.000-08:002012-03-06T11:27:29.146-08:00Rush to Send out Resume?<span style="font-size: large;">Oh my, my, my. </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidY1-qqcAj95JwI4_tCwoWK7o-QZ-UmzXNTrLYms6-A1VCvkvrNI2vzHneC1Pej1iTgvs1TB1NmyxyuuJHRT0I3IQgykcjCr7qpZNRmpYZR1WHL-MXspKyHvhg81f7PaNtCUVPeOKN0pPY/s1600/bilde.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidY1-qqcAj95JwI4_tCwoWK7o-QZ-UmzXNTrLYms6-A1VCvkvrNI2vzHneC1Pej1iTgvs1TB1NmyxyuuJHRT0I3IQgykcjCr7qpZNRmpYZR1WHL-MXspKyHvhg81f7PaNtCUVPeOKN0pPY/s400/bilde.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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We've all said some things at work that we regret, but Rush Limbaugh- "Maha Rushie*" really put his foot in it. Everyone knows what he said, including his sponsors AOL, Sleep Mattress, LegalZoom and so many more, so we won't be repeating it here on Jobs4yourfiredAss.<br />
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The odds of "The Doctor of Democracy*" actually being kicked to the curb are pretty low- free speech, ya'll- but stranger things have happened. (Lindsey Lohan getting a new movie gig for one!)<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWidzr8CQ_IlTAOhHinmrvQYYrmXb4Gn8LFZY1_aTsQ4kPt6wAffd9akzjN_NxN-3LnYc9mKePiVWYP2EcCeMUj9vB9KhT6RP4PWdkVHMPpb5uf09W2niyDs-CdSfo1yaV_20DW_nTJPWk/s1600/Rush.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWidzr8CQ_IlTAOhHinmrvQYYrmXb4Gn8LFZY1_aTsQ4kPt6wAffd9akzjN_NxN-3LnYc9mKePiVWYP2EcCeMUj9vB9KhT6RP4PWdkVHMPpb5uf09W2niyDs-CdSfo1yaV_20DW_nTJPWk/s320/Rush.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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Because I love everyone who needs a job equally (fingers crossed behind my back) here are some suggestions for " <span style="color: black;">Da-Man - your President - “Osama-Obama” doesn’t want you to listen to*,” in case Clear Channel finally says "Adios." I am an equal opportunity job-finder. </span><br />
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<span style="color: black;">Good luck "El Rushbo.*" You're gonna need it.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7MplnuGeh5Tq28UgurY6f0kYxqRVUfGoO2b_0jzgp0Tyd7gZrCZ_anN7Y96vJm4OwJYNxXaFh6CA4pnJCGP60FCcWgMUknwfR6zaV015kRkqs5CEqnWGdjAKVkXfxUeSi1ZZ753LZBU2X/s1600/clown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7MplnuGeh5Tq28UgurY6f0kYxqRVUfGoO2b_0jzgp0Tyd7gZrCZ_anN7Y96vJm4OwJYNxXaFh6CA4pnJCGP60FCcWgMUknwfR6zaV015kRkqs5CEqnWGdjAKVkXfxUeSi1ZZ753LZBU2X/s320/clown.jpg" width="194" /></a></div><br />
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<span style="color: black;">JOBS FOR </span><b><span style="color: blue;"> </span></b><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">“Chief Waga-Waga of the Conservo Tribe*”</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">No-Brainer- <a href="http://www.strates.com/carnival-jobs-employment-information.htm">http://www.strates.com/carnival-jobs-employment-information.htm</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">Lay low for a while - <a href="http://www.infomine.com/careers/jobs/r3c50/greenland.jobs.aspx">http://www.infomine.com/careers/jobs/r3c50/greenland.jobs.aspx</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">and the most obvious job for redemption: <a href="http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-systems/employment-opportunites-28073.htm">http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-systems/employment-opportunites-28073.htm </a></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></span><span style="color: black;"> </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjagJMuLOIvJs_20Yvu7sQCJcmGuzAFdzi2uU9txeZUS8Me_YLChTPHbkKSb2gg6KfelfTsqifLnGtBbYgSiy_DhJ4emDLlrQnlMIwyrS9lacA3k938kszX3OXNAlTIbjMFFoXfiVMSadhyphenhyphen/s1600/plannedparenthood.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjagJMuLOIvJs_20Yvu7sQCJcmGuzAFdzi2uU9txeZUS8Me_YLChTPHbkKSb2gg6KfelfTsqifLnGtBbYgSiy_DhJ4emDLlrQnlMIwyrS9lacA3k938kszX3OXNAlTIbjMFFoXfiVMSadhyphenhyphen/s320/plannedparenthood.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<span style="color: black;">* Nicknames Rush has given himself.</span><b><span style="color: blue;"> </span></b>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-74253617540916938422012-01-30T18:33:00.000-08:002012-01-30T18:33:28.611-08:00Talk the Talk...for Money!Do you talk real smart? Do you know a lot of big words? Well, then maybe you should become a speechwriter!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiftuGUGtia0CTDQir0uW6VWLG3Y0WRy_N3EcVLreIabx9WV0H2wwnjnvxQ10uMEK0ibC-IaPARQhdkDl4Bv2ySzUoC9FDcZLHyWmojhvvAxv9kSWDBBTGHv06ZdYs1G554157nCyZgOpYg/s1600/the_worlds_greatest_speech_writer_mug-p168020622470512562qjye_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiftuGUGtia0CTDQir0uW6VWLG3Y0WRy_N3EcVLreIabx9WV0H2wwnjnvxQ10uMEK0ibC-IaPARQhdkDl4Bv2ySzUoC9FDcZLHyWmojhvvAxv9kSWDBBTGHv06ZdYs1G554157nCyZgOpYg/s320/the_worlds_greatest_speech_writer_mug-p168020622470512562qjye_400.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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Seriously- this is the year to put your words in other people's mouths. There are gigs out there that pay big bucks for your words- so, you know, Fore score and all that.<br />
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Conservative: <br />
<a href="http://www.rcjobs.com/jobseeker/job/9506737/Speechwriter/Confidential/?vnet=0">http://www.rcjobs.com/jobseeker/job/9506737/Speechwriter/Confidential/?vnet=0</a><br />
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Liberal:<br />
<a href="https://careers-clintonfoundation.icims.com/jobs/1844/job?&sn=Indeed&?mode=apply&iis=Indeed&iisn=Indeed">https://careers-clintonfoundation.icims.com/jobs/1844/job?&sn=Indeed&?mode=apply&iis=Indeed&iisn=Indeed</a><br />
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And Cleveland:<br />
<a href="http://www.simplyhired.com/job-id/sqstxl42k7/executive-speechwriter-jobs/">http://www.simplyhired.com/job-id/sqstxl42k7/executive-speechwriter-jobs/ </a>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-49446073245931121122011-03-28T12:32:00.000-07:002011-03-28T12:34:55.269-07:00I Love Monsters, Horror Movies, Science Fiction, and Comic Books<h3></h3><h4>How the Person Who Said That Landed a Dream Job </h4><br />
<div id="story_body"><div class="lead_photo"><img alt="I Love Monsters, Horror Movies, Science Fiction, and Comic Books" id="thumb" src="http://media.sdreader.com/img/news/tease/2010/09/12/makeup_artist_t245.jpg?688c1433a91d85c33fc0ac9386a082be1c98381b" /> </div><div class="text_block" id="story_column">Are there holes in your life where your skills and experiences don’t connect with your passions and dreams?<br />
Check this out:<br />
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“I can talk to people, convince them I have good ideas," said Tiffany Giles. " I can sell cosmetics. I’m patient. I don’t give up easily. I have a creative imagination. I know how to put makeup on people. I can draw. I can sculpt little monsters and creatures out of modeling clay. I’m a stickler for details. I can sew. I can make my own Halloween costumes. I’m a pretty good hustler.”<br />
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What’s missing? For Giles: knowing how to apply special effects makeup, experience, and money to learn the trade.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltRBQQtWIkDpMUT2iD8q5Afs7qB9ds5qMGeuy0nvIrqNXl5x0z_oHVxGDBGtfhsFyBWIolIw4CAw-ANZGF78w9wHT2EcFRjuZlzJfC8IrlmJpZwYM3uUzIhR2r0JJnpePGne9JKM-ajxT/s1600/monster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltRBQQtWIkDpMUT2iD8q5Afs7qB9ds5qMGeuy0nvIrqNXl5x0z_oHVxGDBGtfhsFyBWIolIw4CAw-ANZGF78w9wHT2EcFRjuZlzJfC8IrlmJpZwYM3uUzIhR2r0JJnpePGne9JKM-ajxT/s400/monster.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
After researching the special effects makeup field and talking with someone in the job placement department at a special effects makeup school in Los Angeles, Giles applied for student loans and signed up for a program that would provide her with the necessary qualifications.<br />
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Her student loans covered most of her tuition and housing expense. For extra income, she freelanced at photography studios doing makeup for actors who needed headshots. Later she teamed up with a photographer and started a “fantasy photo portrait” business, where Giles transformed her customers with an exotic fantasy look using costumes and makeup.<br />
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Chances are you’ve met or heard of people who turned their passions into careers. Contact them and ask them how they did it. You might find out it’s easier than you imagined. Start by thinking about your obsessions, hobbies, subjects you love to talk about at parties and the kinds of magazines or websites you’re compelled to visit for clues.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQiZX0t7oD2Ken2XaMAtKVPcZpY-cd-FTFm86vNBW5MsIDCLYBiQMBklsDYSh6LEJVQyO4uDt33gT8gNhb28glEA_RTWVgL_YXkZAK794kA_MSI4ZXCzO9o-Kb0qPxlz0PnPgT2WORnf9G/s1600/lemons.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQiZX0t7oD2Ken2XaMAtKVPcZpY-cd-FTFm86vNBW5MsIDCLYBiQMBklsDYSh6LEJVQyO4uDt33gT8gNhb28glEA_RTWVgL_YXkZAK794kA_MSI4ZXCzO9o-Kb0qPxlz0PnPgT2WORnf9G/s320/lemons.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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Be patient, particularly in this environment. Don’t look desperate. It makes you a less attractive candidate at best, tainted goods at worst. One option is to consider offering your services on a consulting basis. Present it as a potential win-win. The company can test drive you without committing to a full-time hire, and you can likewise check out the fit. You are positioning yourself as someone with functional expertise they can use, not someone desperate for a job. If you have done a good job of understanding what you are good at you will know the strengths you can leverage in this regard.<br />
Don’t lose heart. Dare to live your passion. The possibilities truly are unlimited. </div></div>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-63420537277048879722011-03-21T14:19:00.000-07:002011-03-21T14:19:39.403-07:00Make Money off the Old People...That's right...the baby boomer generation makes up more than one-third of the U.S. population. They represent a total income estimated to be well over 900 billion dollars — give or take a billion or two after the recession hit. Boomers are still the wealthiest, best educated, and most sophisticated purchasers, not to mention well-preserved, and they represent a dramatic 40 percent of total consumer demand.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk1yczBncyeryKmKb-zbmMLz31GPDG4ZEs8uh4suptovJN5jviba7W9nN4W_nkZIxs-l8UaSA1vM_jUhQE3h1jt_dTRHUAfZvita7KJ1rZl-ClXvJpN9cFHpMY-uy5oXy5JSpDSqKqNixP/s1600/old+hippie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk1yczBncyeryKmKb-zbmMLz31GPDG4ZEs8uh4suptovJN5jviba7W9nN4W_nkZIxs-l8UaSA1vM_jUhQE3h1jt_dTRHUAfZvita7KJ1rZl-ClXvJpN9cFHpMY-uy5oXy5JSpDSqKqNixP/s1600/old+hippie.jpg" /></a></div><br />
The bad news for baby boomers is that they are getting old. The good news for you, if you are willing to pick up the pieces, is that this aging process is <b>creating jobs.</b> Boomers are creating a demand for (legal) drugs, health services, and medical supplies. Healthcare, which today makes up 16 percent of the gross national product, is three times bigger than it was in 1960, according to the Kaiser Foundation. Consequently, job openings in the healthcare field continue to grow, says a report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Since June 2007, healthcare has added 348,000 jobs. In June of 2009 alone, 15,000 jobs were added in the field, 13,000 in ambulatory services. Currently, there are 1.4 million nursing-home residents, 900,000 residents in assisted-living facilities, 750,000 independent-living residents, some 150,000 use adult day services, and 1.4 million utilize home health. But that’s just today — only about half of the senior population anticipated when the boomers hit 70 and 80.<br />
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Companies that manufacture home healthcare products, such as walkers and wheelchairs, will be prospering in the next decade. This means that factory, sales, and management jobs will start popping up just as boomers’ knees start giving out. Companies such as <a href="http://qualitymedicalsupplies.com/">qualitymedicalsupplies.com</a> and <a href="http://alliancemedequip.com/">alliancemedequip.com</a> also offer jobs in this “hip” industry.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhJPehLjKu-3DRqtSk332oBwPM5qIgHkV01pDSaJmUtU0qLYlOlORGD7fMe2e_ZZCbhb3C1I-IgbcINSOKY9yqXQJoXBwNTX9owzDWrRbDPatL9RZvRV6C_XbhohOBhTt7wGf-x0GwhEf0/s1600/old-guy-wheelchair-big-pimping.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhJPehLjKu-3DRqtSk332oBwPM5qIgHkV01pDSaJmUtU0qLYlOlORGD7fMe2e_ZZCbhb3C1I-IgbcINSOKY9yqXQJoXBwNTX9owzDWrRbDPatL9RZvRV6C_XbhohOBhTt7wGf-x0GwhEf0/s400/old-guy-wheelchair-big-pimping.jpg" width="395" /></a></div><br />
Boomers want to spend their last days in good health and comfort, so if you have a great idea for hot-pink wheelchairs or zebra-print shower chairs, get it designed and hit the patent office like some of these other brilliant minds have done.<br />
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Boomers are obsessed with not only acting and thinking young but looking young. They are fixated on external beauty, so here’s your chance to capitalize on their vanity. Aging baby boomers are seeking out the Fountain of Youth more than ever. Whether it’s to combat new wrinkles or for relaxation, they’re rushing into day spas and destination spas. Careers as estheticians and in plastic surgeons’ offices are as plentiful as the wrinkles on a boomer’s face. <a href="http://estheticianjobs.com/">Estheticianjobs.com</a> as well as <a href="http://skinscienceinstitute.com/">skinscienceinstitute.com</a> are great places to start your search for a gig in a spa, hotel, resort, or doctor’s office.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvX6KUYnGTJGnsRx-RGa_kKrAZvF3kZT-slSuyaW8WYh4U5S5WDib2I1RqKVaf3KH448dqTgPLHbanLTK12mrS9FZtAtvbzHzUcEe0jmrHJGv3vvhjuEqIJJ1J_-0TgQa6XiSxcA3dB9Dg/s1600/Botox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvX6KUYnGTJGnsRx-RGa_kKrAZvF3kZT-slSuyaW8WYh4U5S5WDib2I1RqKVaf3KH448dqTgPLHbanLTK12mrS9FZtAtvbzHzUcEe0jmrHJGv3vvhjuEqIJJ1J_-0TgQa6XiSxcA3dB9Dg/s320/Botox.jpg" width="220" /></a></div><br />
If you previously worked as an administrative assistant or a receptionist, there are plastic surgeons that need front and back office help. In addition to a paycheck, the perks of Botox and silicon are great benefits. <a href="http://medhunters.com/">Medhunters.com</a> and <a href="http://medicalworkers.com/">medicalworkers.com</a> are two great sites to start your search for office jobs where you get to look at “before” and “after” people all day.<br />
Massage is another avenue that has become a hot seller. There are millions of boomers waiting for you to poke, prod, and knead them — all in the name of youth. <a href="http://massageenvy.com/">Massageenvy.com</a> and <a href="http://massagefranchisereview.com/">massagefranchisereview.com</a> are two sites where you can find relaxing franchise opportunities. Another great resource is <a href="http://alternativehealthbusiness.com/">alternativehealthbusiness.com</a>.<br />
In the end, boomers will be great for the job market. It’s up to you to figure out how you’re going to take their money while creating a new life, a new job and a new attitude for yourself. What are you waiting for? They’re not getting any younger!firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-77106082018911379422011-01-04T09:41:00.000-08:002011-01-04T09:43:58.405-08:00This is the Captain Speaking..I've Been Fired<b><span style="font-size: large;">If you lost your job this week due to grabbing the ass of the gal in accounting during your Christmas party, don't feel too bad. </span></b><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmn04PcmGUf209-Epgl8dEMem8LqztpB9FmU5gfhyJ1Wt5lo6JlZV2qWmsdGGlyC9oFbaBcddnY076cFx7YNFis_3Jy5N9m-EJBux4Oun_P2PJsfZ474ljzud4LRYdrGLggAEpk8AVr8J1/s1600/captain+q.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="382" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmn04PcmGUf209-Epgl8dEMem8LqztpB9FmU5gfhyJ1Wt5lo6JlZV2qWmsdGGlyC9oFbaBcddnY076cFx7YNFis_3Jy5N9m-EJBux4Oun_P2PJsfZ474ljzud4LRYdrGLggAEpk8AVr8J1/s400/captain+q.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
Imagine how Capt. Owen Honors commander of the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise feels.<br />
<br />
I mean, all he did was demean gays and women. You know, many of the people he is in charge of?<br />
It was a silly little mistake. Stimulating masturbation and exposing his Captain-Queeg balls in a lewd movie he then previewed to his entire crew was all about raising morale. Now he's been relieved of his command.<br />
<br />
Where's the love Mr. President?<br />
<br />
Maybe it's time to retire Mr. Honor. Seriously, there's no shame in calling it quits if your boss- the US Government- doesn't appreciate you <i>OR</i> your sense of humor, right? You need to find a place where you can express your creativity and your un-politically correct sense of humor. You need a job where you can spread your legs, er, wings and fly like the Top Gun you were meant to be!<br />
<br />
So listen up Maverick, while it's still a fresh New Year, here are a few jobs just right for you. Think about it: you certainly don't want to end up flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong now do you? <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO4uJHacga0nOO1Yj8cjYZY35IfvZy6FEABE4eUOTSEmSHmzAJB8dQ6-QY89AnvGPqWLQ2tG2d-pqjErXM3hFwsc3o1A1ifedcliO7QwXieU3PbGLQmgCWMqBXdAMAkg6gnNLR12eIQ8ZK/s1600/barney-stinson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO4uJHacga0nOO1Yj8cjYZY35IfvZy6FEABE4eUOTSEmSHmzAJB8dQ6-QY89AnvGPqWLQ2tG2d-pqjErXM3hFwsc3o1A1ifedcliO7QwXieU3PbGLQmgCWMqBXdAMAkg6gnNLR12eIQ8ZK/s400/barney-stinson.jpg" width="373" /></a></div><br />
Jobs for dis-honored Capt. Honors:<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1537789718"><br />
</a><br />
<a href="http://www.cruisejobfinder.com/JobDescriptions/activity_entertainment_jobs.php">http://www.cruisejobfinder.com/JobDescriptions/activity_entertainment_jobs.php</a> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1537789718"><br />
</a><br />
<a href="http://www.standupjobs.com/">http://www.standupjobs.com/</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://newjobslive.info/how-to-become-a-porn-director-making-amateur-adult-films/">http://newjobslive.info/how-to-become-a-porn-director-making-amateur-adult-films/</a>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-85213685010358924652010-09-25T09:03:00.000-07:002010-09-25T09:03:58.417-07:00Librarians (and their Jobs) Are HOT!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqQPhsLTl03Omd_LwmryNlCq4hmja_7Zqk3Oexsyw4yIl5MjI8wjfc8wt7OtZ9nwJjBWncOMD7ZeqaJ0U7mZo0Ji_xNFw0QSPL_V-oN3Zpi7-oRjgPPFZctXqDFJxfDObQFhp1ix7HCIQD/s1600/hanesmysterce.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqQPhsLTl03Omd_LwmryNlCq4hmja_7Zqk3Oexsyw4yIl5MjI8wjfc8wt7OtZ9nwJjBWncOMD7ZeqaJ0U7mZo0Ji_xNFw0QSPL_V-oN3Zpi7-oRjgPPFZctXqDFJxfDObQFhp1ix7HCIQD/s320/hanesmysterce.jpg" width="217" /></a></div><br />
<i>"I love you madly, madly, Madam Librarian...Marian</i><br />
<i>It's a long lost cause I can never win</i><br />
<i>For the civilized world accepts as unforgivable sin</i><br />
<i>Any talking out loud with any librarian</i><br />
<i>Such as Marian.....Madam Librarian."</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
OK, so those lyrics are from a song from the musical, "The Music Man" written about 190 years years ago, but seriously, the Librarian was played by Shirley Jones...you <i>know,</i> the mom on the Partridge Family...HOT!!!! (I know, the male lead was gay, but even,<i> he</i> was hot for the Librarian!)<br />
<br />
So let's ask ourselves, WHY are Librarians always cast as the smart hotties? Could it be that only <i>they</i> know the secrets of the Dewey Decimal System? Sure.<span> </span>We’ve all got our preconceived notions about who Librarians are and what they do.<span> </span>Many people think of Librarians as boring worker bees, shelving and “Shhh-ing” people.<span></span><span> </span>But hold the phone! Librarians have degrees.<span> </span>They go to graduate school for Library and Information Science and become masters of data systems and Human-Computer Interaction.<span> </span>Librarians can catalog anything--<span> </span>They could catalog you.<span> </span>Librarians wield universal powers.<span></span><span> </span>People become Librarians because they're too smart to go into politics<span></span><span></span>.<span> </span>Librarians are all-knowing and all-seeing.<span> </span>They bring order to chaos.<span> </span>They bring wisdom and culture to the masses and they protect the First Amendment like it was their baby.<span> </span>Librarians rule.<span> And no matter what their age- they..are..<i>hot!</i></span><br />
<br />
<span>Sorry, I got little carried away there, but so should you. Here's the deal; if you're smarter than say, <i>EVERYONE</i>, you too should be a librarian. Or maybe you already have that library degree and your budget was cut and your city was stupid enough to put you on the "Hold" shelf. So, because you taught us all how to read, we have some awesome jobs for you dear Librarian. And don't worry, you can never be replaced by a computer because you are...<i>the original search engine.</i></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" id="job-detail-content"><tbody>
<tr><td class="content" colspan="1"><span class="institutename">Executive Director</span></td> <td style="vertical-align: top;"> <a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=xa-4a64d1757d670813"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/sm-share-en.gif" style="border: 0pt none;" width="83" /></a> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td class="institutename" valign="bottom">Brooklyn Public Library,<br />
<span class="instituteinfo">Brooklyn, New York</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<a href="http://joblist.ala.org/modules/jobseeker/Executive-Director/15741.cfm">http://joblist.ala.org/modules/jobseeker/Executive-Director/15741.cfm</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" id="job-detail-content"><tbody>
<tr><td class="content" colspan="1"><span class="institutename">Digital Initiatives/Metadata Librarian</span></td> <td style="vertical-align: top;"> <a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=xa-4a64d1757d670813"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/sm-share-en.gif" style="border: 0pt none;" width="83" /></a> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td class="institutename" valign="bottom"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_522455557">Portland State University,<br />
<span class="instituteinfo">Portland, Oregon</span></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_522455557"><span class="instituteinfo">http://joblist.ala.org/modules/jobseeker/Digital-InitiativesMetadata-Librarian/15742.cfm</span></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" id="job-detail-content"><tbody>
<tr><td class="content" colspan="1"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_522455557"><span class="institutename">Library Specialist</span></a></td> <td style="vertical-align: top;"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_522455557"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/sm-share-en.gif" style="border: 0pt none;" width="83" /></a> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td class="institutename" valign="bottom"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_522455557">Contra Costa County Library,<br />
<span class="instituteinfo">Pleasant Hill, California</span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><a href="http://joblist.ala.org/modules/jobseeker/Library-Specialist/15753.cfm"><span class="instituteinfo"> http://joblist.ala.org/modules/jobseeker/Library-Specialist/15753.cfm</span></a></td><td class="institutename" valign="bottom"><span class="instituteinfo"> </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-15966079610335999102010-08-11T19:06:00.000-07:002010-08-11T19:06:27.893-07:00I Need to Fire Myself.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Seriously. I have not blogged for a month. Is that any way to promote a book? I think not, so I am going to have ask myself to step into my office and say, "We need to talk."<br />
Sigh. Nothing worse than firing yourself.<br />
<br />
But I can take it. I've been fired by the best of them.<br />
When I worked at the funeral parlour, my boss- an ex-stripper-now-funeral director, fired me for not doing my job. Not that SHE did her job, but the grand puba's in the Funeral Home wondered why there were bills from our office for parties. Well DUH, my boss was an ex-stripper! (as well as Miss Jugs, 1989.)<br />
Someone had to take the fall. I got over it.<br />
<br />
Another time I was fired from the 'Big and Tall Ladies Underwear Department' at a fancy store. I weighed 95 pounds. Hell, I couldn't even lift those panties. The clientele didn't really want a little skinny girl selling them girdles, so I got the old. "You just don't fit the job," talk. Pun probably not intended.<br />
<br />
So, since I have been flying around the country trying to plan my first-born daughter's wedding and NOT promoting the book, so I should be fired. Or at least given a very stern talking to.<br />
<br />
Jobs for fired writers:<br />
<br />
Newspaper Delivery Jobs--<br />
<a href="http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/job-J0JGXQQZBHU;_ylc=X3oDMTEwc2ZoY2ZqBF9TAzM5NjUxMDMzNQRjYXQDT1RIBHBjb2RlAzU0OTI2?source=partner&scode=54926">http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/job-J0JGXQQZBHU;_ylc=X3oDMTEwc2ZoY2ZqBF9TAzM5NjUxMDMzNQRjYXQDT1RIBHBjb2RlAzU0OTI2?source=partner&scode=54926</a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-r5iR1Hea_QPkVkTpzvMsXb04aXn3OHFQx6RvYIyRErlIfLHU7Mn7MnRcxi7vj3x46jusMo5npLId1qgMz1v5ALPeJkLOsTsp8Ix-VIeb5dNhF_TfvEgxpv3KFGVp0rWQ-23JLKk7Cmx2/s1600/funeral.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-r5iR1Hea_QPkVkTpzvMsXb04aXn3OHFQx6RvYIyRErlIfLHU7Mn7MnRcxi7vj3x46jusMo5npLId1qgMz1v5ALPeJkLOsTsp8Ix-VIeb5dNhF_TfvEgxpv3KFGVp0rWQ-23JLKk7Cmx2/s320/funeral.jpg" /></a></div>Inserter-<br />
<a href="http://www.communicationsjobs.net/job.asp?id=25651392&aff=925A0F9A-7C85-4AAD-A3D2-5E5C81892E2F&utm_source=Indeed&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Indeed">http://www.communicationsjobs.net/job.asp?id=25651392&aff=925A0F9A-7C85-4AAD-A3D2-5E5C81892E2F&utm_source=Indeed&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Indeed </a><br />
<br />
And writers for porn<br />
<a href="http://www.sexyjobs.com/writers.asp">http://www.sexyjobs.com/writers.asp</a>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-42810085089363361422010-07-17T10:12:00.000-07:002010-07-17T10:20:43.585-07:00Finding F***ing Mel Gibson a F***ing Job!<span style="font-size: large;">Well now Mr. Pottymouth, it looks like your anger is going to help you lose a 30-year career.</span><br />
Mel Gibson, actor, director and producer, was recent<span style="font-family: inherit;">ly dropped (Hollywood word for "Fired.") by his agent William Morris Endeavor Entertainment amid allegations that he assaulted and made death threats against his ex-girlfriend. This is </span><i style="font-family: inherit;">so</i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> are not going to help in a new job search.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaWHeo1QK7_rKZC0KBaSXFM7FHRuoG29BpwukL76aVI-nwyD8pEs9CzsLMa-cSbWZiEKidYOl1LHuz5dNbWIAfA2z6ecLC5icYQLShKwC9C2U-s3dbYx8s0aSwSExZmyWZN3PaTfCZ1Qx6/s1600/md_horiz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaWHeo1QK7_rKZC0KBaSXFM7FHRuoG29BpwukL76aVI-nwyD8pEs9CzsLMa-cSbWZiEKidYOl1LHuz5dNbWIAfA2z6ecLC5icYQLShKwC9C2U-s3dbYx8s0aSwSExZmyWZN3PaTfCZ1Qx6/s320/md_horiz.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"></div><div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"></div><div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"></div><div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"><br />
<a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/07/10/2010-07-10_mel_gibsons_agency_drops_actor_after_racist_and_sexist_rant_alleged_attack_again.html#ixzz0txSTuZ62" style="color: #003399;"></a>It looks like his new movie called, umm, 'Beaver,' is going to bomb and he has been quoted saying he has money problems. </div>(<i>"You're a f---ing mentally deprived idiot. You can't even f---ing figure it out, I'm paying the tax money instead of the credit card. Don't you get it?"</i> he told his ex-lover.)<br />
<br />
<br />
A a woman, I don't condone this behavior for one minute, but I am forgiving and always want to help people have second, third.... OK, I lost count, but I want to help people find a job. (It's a good thing that I'm not Russian, Jewish, African-American or Latino, because I might not be so forgiving.)<br />
<br />
But on to finding Mad Max a new job.<br />
<br />
I've got to admit, this one is going to take some soul searching. First off, Mel might not walk away with a good reference from his former employer- you know, the public- but there is hope.<br />
<br />
Mel's got some special skills.<br />
<br />
While he probably wouldn't be a fit working in law enforcement, he does own a lot of guns. Perhaps a job as a gunsmith or in firearm sales? <br />
<a href="http://www.shootingsearch.com/"><cite>www.shootingsearch.com</cite></a> <br />
<br />
The actor who once stared in a movie called, "What Women Want," apparently doesn't know what women want, so any work in a woman's spa or salon is probably not a good career fit. But, since he's quick with his hands, how about finding a gig where he can spar for 8 hours a day?<br />
<a href="http://laboxing.com/connect/employment/">http://laboxing.com/connect/employment/</a><br />
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"><br />
And of course, everyone wants a job that they are passionate about, so....<a href="http://www.churchjobs.net/"><span class="f"><cite>www.<b>church</b>jobs.net/</cite></span></a></div><div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"></div><div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So there you go- everyone deserves a job after they've screwed up and been fired- even a racist, sexist, narcissistic guy like Mel Gibson. And Mel, if none of these careers work out I have one final dream job that would be perfect for a swell guy like you</span>:<span class="f" style="font-size: small;"><cite> <a href="http://www.mahalo.com/how-to-become-a-walmart-greeter">http://www.mahalo.com/how-to-become-a-walmart-greeter</a></cite></span><br />
<span class="f" style="font-size: small;"><cite> </cite></span>No need to call and thank me Mel. No really, <span style="font-size: large;"><i>DO NOT CALL ME!</i></span><span class="f" style="font-size: small;"><cite><br />
</cite></span></div>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-83640579777151332112010-07-01T17:58:00.000-07:002010-07-01T18:02:33.564-07:00Jobs Hot Enough to Melt Ice Caps<b>Do you want your job to do its part for the environment?</b><br />
<br />
<b> </b>Do you want a gig that can cool down even the biggest -of-shots? Are you touchy-feely and knead to have hands-on experience before you can accept any cash/paychecks?<br />
Well, this is your lucky day!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjB1EJm_9wl7ZvzHUxG61MsYDGq_EOME_O0hgKqWe7WKn5toN4vF676becIgYoJXA3os-Yalpc4dlX1hPRH8B4nfb33qko5rQVmYomZoBU4hrxv6o8CQsX6ocjuiVgXEhBLAlfnhD_hsBo/s1600/al-gore-sex-allegations_370x278.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjB1EJm_9wl7ZvzHUxG61MsYDGq_EOME_O0hgKqWe7WKn5toN4vF676becIgYoJXA3os-Yalpc4dlX1hPRH8B4nfb33qko5rQVmYomZoBU4hrxv6o8CQsX6ocjuiVgXEhBLAlfnhD_hsBo/s200/al-gore-sex-allegations_370x278.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
According to the most recent report released by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, careers in the massage industry are in-demand. In fact, the report projects that the growth of massage therapist positions will increase by 19 percent through 2018.<br />
<br />
Not bad for having to work on sweaty naked people. Or is it? Standing on your feet all day pounding-a-pound-of-flesh can be tiring. Sometimes your client can get the wrong idea..after all, they<i> ARE</i> naked.<br />
<br />
<br />
But at the end of the day, working as a Massuse or Masseur (That's French you know. They have the best words.) for people thinking with their umm, heads, can be rewarding both monetarily and personally. That's what I hope for you all in this scary economy.<br />
<i>A happy ending.</i><br />
<br />
Massage schools--- <a href="http://pmi.edu/contact.asp">http://pmi.edu/contact.asp</a><br />
h<a href="ttp://www.naturalhealers.com/feat-massage.shtml">ttp://www.naturalhealers.com/feat-massage.shtml</a><br />
Jobs---<a href="http://www.massagejobs.com/aboutMassageJobsCanada.shtml">http://www.massagejobs.com/aboutMassageJobsCanada.shtml </a><br />
and <br />
<a href="http://www.massagejobs.com/">http://www.massagejobs.com/</a><br />
AND<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.massageenvycareers.com/"> http://www.massageenvycareers.com/</a><br />
<br />
And because not <i>everyone</i> wants to go to college: <br />
<a href="http://www.chezstella.org/stella/?q=en/pamela&PHPSESSID=ee4d3567fd1428af8878c25d659c9554">http://www.chezstella.org/stella/?q=en/pamela&PHPSESSID=ee4d3567fd1428af8878c25d659c9554</a>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-57814047467672587362010-06-24T10:03:00.000-07:002010-06-24T10:03:08.422-07:00General Jobs for Fired GeneralsYou know, no matter how indispensable you <i>THINK </i>you are, your ass can still be fired. I mean, sure you can come in late and take long-ass lunches and steal an office supply or two. Maybe you can even get away with drinking too much at the office Christmas party, but when it comes to covering up the death of a professional football star-turned-star Army volunteer-- Pat Tillman-- killed by friendly fire and then diss your boss in Rolling Stone Magazine, well dude, I mean come on! Just because you wear a fancy suit with stars and ribbons and have a your own Jeep and a lot of people working under you doesn't mean you get to be a complete asshole and not get your comupance.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0R8P5GH5QsAjdRWaE4q4b6rw02ORJnzgq10qjAF7dvduFPlhyphenhyphenxvvUu_LVnYyy3RtZrua_iIBA5RIfsokFR71W-aDPviI29qeqE1SUElvTQe4NXL0hcPlpR0cVkTKrh07TQo8pc_u4oy76/s1600/General.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0R8P5GH5QsAjdRWaE4q4b6rw02ORJnzgq10qjAF7dvduFPlhyphenhyphenxvvUu_LVnYyy3RtZrua_iIBA5RIfsokFR71W-aDPviI29qeqE1SUElvTQe4NXL0hcPlpR0cVkTKrh07TQo8pc_u4oy76/s200/General.jpg" width="150" /></a></div><br />
But, now that you've found yourself out on the street with the million of other folks who are jobless, take your pension and free-lifetime health care and look for another job. Hell, your wife probably doesn't want to give up those PX shopping privaleges so you better get back to work.<br />
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Lucky for you I have sympathy for your digressions because I think you've probably learned from your mistakes. (You know like don't cover up deaths and don't call out the Prez in magazines for stoner's. Just reminding you.)<br />
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With that said and moving on, put on some real clothes, say Dockers and a golf shirt, have a beer, tell your posse to go home and check out these jobs fit for a general. At ease soldier!<br />
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<b>General Mills</b>- <a href="http://mycereal.com/corporate/careers/index.aspx"><span class="f"><cite>mycereal.com/corporate/careers/index.aspx</cite></span></a><br />
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<span class="f"><cite><b>General Dynamics</b>- <a href="ttp://www.generaldynamics.com/employment/employ_menu.htm%20">http://www.generaldynamics.com/employment/employ_menu.htm </a></cite></span><br />
<b><span class="f"><cite><br />
</cite></span></b><br />
<span class="f"><cite><b>General Tool & Supply Co-</b> <a href="http://www.allportlandjobs.com/JobSeekers/EmployersProfile.aspx?EmployerId=33381a16-e0b9-4e4c-8001-3e93a595e82d">http://www.allportlandjobs.com/JobSeekers/EmployersProfile.aspx?EmployerId=33381a16-e0b9-4e4c-8001-3e93a595e82d</a></cite></span><br />
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</cite></span><br />
<span class="f"><cite><b>General Store-</b> <a href="http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobDetails.aspx?ipath=EXIND&siteid=cbindeed&Job_DID=J3I1DC6410QLPQMC2KJ&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=467c5a85d1294b62975df5675a544770-330699423-RG-4">http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobDetails.aspx?ipath=EXIND&siteid=cbindeed&Job_DID=J3I1DC6410QLPQMC2KJ&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=467c5a85d1294b62975df5675a544770-330699423-RG-4</a></cite></span><br />
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<div id="refHTML"></div>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-60769555438650939232010-06-14T16:08:00.000-07:002010-06-14T16:08:10.625-07:00LADUMA! Let's Find You a Job in Soccer!<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I love<i> diski</i>.</b> <span style="font-size: small;">When I'm not plugging the book or <i>jolling</i> I watch the World Cup as often as I can.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">If you are such a <i>mampara </i>and don't know what the hell I'm talking about, then you should find a job anywhere <i>BUT</i> in <i>futbol!</i> Or Football. OR for (us) Americans SOCCER!</span></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7ZqSoE1PTyTcfP_9nP64hl0ArP_Iyi16Lop2sfpLeSzTapIp7G8D7SgwTWQ5QWY_yELDjobxr1eKdFEh2ksbjkQREpPMLpZZW1ARv78vxRXCy4RGVx2v8oD5j6skpbDtNq0Jj9ASmvbGR/s1600/soccer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7ZqSoE1PTyTcfP_9nP64hl0ArP_Iyi16Lop2sfpLeSzTapIp7G8D7SgwTWQ5QWY_yELDjobxr1eKdFEh2ksbjkQREpPMLpZZW1ARv78vxRXCy4RGVx2v8oD5j6skpbDtNq0Jj9ASmvbGR/s320/soccer.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">If you want a job as in <i>now-now,</i> or even <i>just-now</i>-in this sport, then you should at least understand the slang of the people who are hosting the 2010 World Cup. Come on, put down that</span></span> <i>smiley,</i> I mean I know they're <i>fooken nca, bro</i>, but you need a job! (OK, <i>that </i>was FUN!)<br />
<br />
But seriously- more than a billion people are expected to follow the month long tournament between the world's top 32 (or is it 36? What do I know-I'm just a journalist.) soccer playing nations. That means there are a lot of people not working and you could possibly steal their jobs. OR you could find a job where you could show people how to play the game. (That might be a tad more sportsman-like.)<br />
You could coach, referee or play for a paycheck. You could design soccer computer games, clothing or board games. You could conjure up soccer dishes or write soccer inspired songs or books. If you love soccer there is NOTHING that can stop you from finding or creating a job that co-mingles your passion for the sport with a paycheck.<br />
<i>Hayibo..</i>. are you paying attention to me or watching the game? Hey! Stop blowing on that annoying <i>vuvuzela </i> and apply for a damn job in soccer. (Go look this stuff up. There's a thing called the Internet. Sigh.)<br />
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<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>SOCCER JOBS! <i>GOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</i></b><br />
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<a href="http://mls.teamworkonline.com/teamwork/jobs/default.cfm">http://mls.teamworkonline.com/teamwork/jobs/default.cfm</a><br />
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<a href="https://jobs.eku.edu/applicants/jsp/shared/position/JobDetails.jsp?time=1276555592340">https://jobs.eku.edu/applicants/jsp/shared/position/JobDetails.jsp?time=1276555592340 </a><br />
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<a href="http://www.trinitydc.edu/offices/hr/Jobs/Assistant_Women%27s_Soccer_Coach.html">http://www.trinitydc.edu/offices/hr/Jobs/Assistant_Women%27s_Soccer_Coach.html</a><br />
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and because soccer is so <i>lekker</i>- <br />
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<a href="http://www.nscaa.com/joblistings.php">http://www.nscaa.com/joblistings.php</a>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-5771042150593646402010-06-12T08:48:00.000-07:002010-06-14T15:17:51.726-07:00This is NOT Funny!<b><span style="font-size: large;">Well, it's kind of funny, but I didn't write it</span></b>. It's a great book review from the Huffington Post on June 11. So don't listen to <i>ME</i> when I tell you this book will help you in your job search. Listen to the Huff!<br />
<br />
<br />
<script type="text/javascript">
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<div class="light_box_modal" id="huff_modal_common" style="visibility: hidden;"><div class="light_box_modal_inner" id="huff_modal_common_inner"><script type="text/javascript">
document.write('Your request is being processed...');
</script>our rquest is being processed... </div></div><div class="light_box_modal" id="huff_snn_modal_common" style="visibility: hidden;"><div class="huffpo_lightbox_wrapper blue_bg corners_15px"><div class="inner-wrapper white_bg corners_10px"><div class="float_left"><img alt="" height="32" src="http://s.huffpost.com/images/loader.gif" width="32" /> </div></div></div></div><div id="blog_author_info"><div class="blog_author_name"><div class="blog_author_date"><div class="float_left fixed_width_author"><h2><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/giles-slade">Giles Slade</a></h2></div></div></div></div><h1><br />
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</script> <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/giles-slade/book-review-ithank-you-fo_b_609269.html" id="title_permalink" title="Permalink">Book Review: <i>Thank You for
Firing Me</i></a>
</h1><div style="padding-top: 15px;">
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</div>You've lost your job. Now what? That's the question put forth in Candice Reed and Kitty Martini's <i>Thank You For Firing Me!: How to Catch the Next Wave of Success After You Lose Your Job</i>. Granted there are dozens and dozens of books offering advice for people who are out of work, or those looking to change careers, but none of these really tell you it's okay to be out of work for a while. It's okay to take the time to figure out what you really want to do with your life. It's okay to sell your possessions and travel the world to take some time off. <i>Thank You For Firing Me</i> explores this side of being unemployed.
Sure the statistics now are daunting: the Dow is in turmoil, unemployment is eking toward 10 percent, nearly 300,000 people sought unemployment assistance in April, and quite simply, people are struggling to make ends meet. The situation becomes even more daunting when you are faced with being laid off, fired, or simply take the risk and quit to try to find something better. People self-identify with their jobs and people make perceptions about others based on what they do. Assumptions are made if you're a lawyer, a banker, a waitress, or a construction worker. Are these assumptions fair? Maybe not, but they exist nonetheless. When you lose a job, you also lose a little bit of your identity. You ask questions, similar to those of a break up, and certainly go through the same emotions: what did I do wrong? What am I supposed to do now? How dare they do this to me; I don't deserve it.
The authors themselves come from this world. Following a series of careers ranging from waitress to mortician, Reed finally found what she wanted to do with her life after landing a writing gig with a community newspaper in San Diego. Unfortunately, she tapped into her passion just as this industry was struggling to find revenues in an era of digital media and advertising. After struggling to find writing jobs after the paper folded, she and her husband decided to chuck it all and leave their native California for greener pastures. Martini is an entrepreneur and comedian, two worlds that have never been easy for people to "make it." While their advice partly comes from a place of personal experience, they have also done their homework to identify ways to conduct research, new and emerging industries, and educational resources that provide retraining opportunities for those looking to lay a foundation for a new career path in an entirely new industry.
This book isn't about starting over again in a job that you really don't want just because you need the paycheck, or about continuing in a career because you don't know what else to do. <i>Thank You For Firing Me!</i> is about the process of learning about yourself and translating that into the career of your dreams. What are you passionate about? What motivates you? What did you love best about your past jobs? What didn't you like? Being honest with yourself and tackling these tough questions is step one.
For many, the most challenging part about finding a new job is where to start. Reed and Martini explore new and emerging industries and challenge readers to think outside the box: are you a casual surfer whose worked a desk job all his life? Open a surf shop. Are you a woman who got laid off from a mid-management job at a financial services job but has always loved working outdoors? Throw those suits away and get outside. <i>Thank You For Firing Me!</i> is really about that - it's about taking a devastating experience and turning into one of the best things that can happen to you.
Taking an often lighthearted and comical approach - <i>Thank You For Firing Me!</i> is full of resources for people trying to get back on track, personal anecdotes from people who really turned their lives around after being fired, and is likely to become a great resource for those looking to find the job of their dreams.
<a href="http://thankyouforfiringme.org/" target="_hplink">thankyouforfiringme.org</a>
<a href="http://jobs4yourfiredass.blogspot.com/" target="_hplink">http://jobs4yourfiredass.blogspot.com/</a>
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</div>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-7865996560754711402010-06-07T11:35:00.000-07:002010-06-14T15:19:46.886-07:00Your Job if You Decide to Accept It: Find Tipper a Date!<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=jobs4yourfire-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=1402769563&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Let's face it---Al is going to have a hot babe on his arm by Father's Day</b></span>, while Tipper is going to be staying up nights in that big-ass energy- wasting- house of hers looking for a guy on Match.com and hanging out with her neighbor Oprah snacking down on Costco-size bags of Cheetos's and Chardonnay.<br />
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I mean<i> COME ON</i>- I like her, but guys will immediately see that she's over 60, a few pounds overweight and everyone in the Free World knows she doesn't like dirty lyrics in her music. (They will no doubt figure she doesn't want to hear any nasty talk in the bedroom.)<br />
They'll keep clicking until they find a girl who is <span class="J-JK9eJ-PJVNOc" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;">waaaay</span> to young for them, <span class="J-JK9eJ-PJVNOc" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;">waaay</span> to dumb for them and pick her, <span class="J-JK9eJ-PJVNOc" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;">because</span> <i>everyone</i> knows who the real Tipper is!<br />
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I think it's going to be a big job finding a man to replace Al. Oh sure he's kind of wooden, and 'that kiss' was kind of like watching your parents make-out-yuck- but he's rich, still has his hair, he loves chick-issues such as the environment and he's a <span class="J-JK9eJ-PJVNOc" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;">BAZILLIONAIR</span>E<i>!</i> So slam-dunk.<br />
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So, what I'm saying here is that you can make this <i>very</i> sad divorce for the Gore family into a very positive turn-of-events for YOU!<br />
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It's going to take someone with dating savvy to find Tipper a date. Someone with sense of humor because she was the 2nd Lady and she's probably a bit of a diva, but YOU COULD DO IT! (You've probably visited a few ahem, 'dating sites' since you were fired from your job, so you're kind of an expert by now, right?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAlahjcV9ePcX9voZsDoAk2Mw_QCSZ_jeMjE8syMTDA4LeT7H1G7T9WbHv2FCCzzq6GkzfH4uabmdW4tb_5Ckw85urnVAEfC4EtiKysXlx61ifxcBOA0DWV-OjUgaHf7UTr5oywPILyOHl/s1600/TIPPER+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAlahjcV9ePcX9voZsDoAk2Mw_QCSZ_jeMjE8syMTDA4LeT7H1G7T9WbHv2FCCzzq6GkzfH4uabmdW4tb_5Ckw85urnVAEfC4EtiKysXlx61ifxcBOA0DWV-OjUgaHf7UTr5oywPILyOHl/s320/TIPPER+2.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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Get this: Online dating has become a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/25/online-dating-statistics_n_511716.html" target="_blank">$1 billion</a> a year business with tens of millions of users visiting dating sites in the U.S. every month. And as dating sites have become more popular, several online services have popped up to help users improve their chances of meeting people online which means, hence and furthermore, that there are jobs to be had with online dating sites!<br />
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Of course if you want the job of actually dating Tipper Gore, there's a site for you too... but remember...n<i>o dirty words!</i> <br />
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<b>Jobs at Match.com</b><br />
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<a href="http://www.match.com/cp/careers/job.html?nl=1&jvi=oPOjVfwB,Job&jvk=Job">http://www.match.com/cp/careers/job.html?nl=1&jvi=oPOjVfwB,Job&jvk=Job</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.match.com/cp/careers/job.html?nl=1&jvi=oRwiVfwk,Job&jvk=Job">http://www.match.com/cp/careers/job.html?nl=1&jvi=oRwiVfwk,Job&jvk=Job</a><br />
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And jobs at<b> It's Just Lunch!</b><br />
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<a href="http://www.itsjustlunchnewyorkcity.com/careers.aspx">http://www.itsjustlunchnewyorkcity.com/careers.aspx</a><br />
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<br />
Jobs at <b>eHarmony</b><br />
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<a href="http://www.eharmony.com/about/careers">http://www.eharmony.com/about/careers</a><br />
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And for all you Tipper Horndogs -- <b>Majestic Males for Hire</b><br />
<a href="http://www.majesticmalesforhire.com/?gclid=CK3U-Y_EjqICFQtSgwodTSI9TQ">http://www.majesticmalesforhire.com/?gclid=CK3U-Y_EjqICFQtSgwodTSI9TQ </a>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-62325608103514821152010-05-30T16:38:00.000-07:002010-05-30T16:38:57.415-07:00BP CEO Tony Hayward May Soon Need a New Job....<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I mean he's got to be the most hated guy on this side of the pond....the really black, oily, yucky and dying pond.</b></span><br />
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With everyone, and I mean everyone pissed at this guy for some reason or another, I think he should have a backup plan for employment- just in case his back-up, back-up plan for cleaning up the damn disaster doesn't work out.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJvdBssIrpvrFOIYHbNYELjxsdYo_Ccyv27bUvR1vAqf-_cdR2eaCgwDdGAh-p2fZHksJwyUfYvNSnZFRe9chuinnzTCymQxrTj5cGsh1x5lfFvBAsu8mYfHZR_ehnMPrIS6X34YwBMYQJ/s1600/hayward.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJvdBssIrpvrFOIYHbNYELjxsdYo_Ccyv27bUvR1vAqf-_cdR2eaCgwDdGAh-p2fZHksJwyUfYvNSnZFRe9chuinnzTCymQxrTj5cGsh1x5lfFvBAsu8mYfHZR_ehnMPrIS6X34YwBMYQJ/s320/hayward.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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Speaking at Stanford business school last year, Mr Hayward said, "“BP makes its money by someone, somewhere, every day putting on boots, overalls, a hard hat and glasses, and going out and turning valves,” he said. “And we’d sort of lost track of that.” So maybe he can start there. (As the spill worsened, Hayward also said "I don't believe it should [result in a ban], in the same way as Apollo 13 did not stop the space program nor have serious airline accidents from time to time stopped people flying." So the job as a grief counselor is probably out.)<br />
<br />
I found a job for a<span style="font-size: small;"> <i><b>Natural Gas Leak Survey Technician</b></i>, because I think after this he might want to go out into the field and put on that hard-hat a goggles- so that no one will recognize him!</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a href="http://www.southerncrosscorp.com/" target="undefined">www. southerncrosscorp.com</a></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">But then I thought, perhaps after seeing all those fish and birds and <i>effing dolphins </i>wash up on shore , he might want to give back and get a job helping the very creatures that his company is trying to wipe out. Just a thought.</div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjemhEhADjhD9xOm6pggASLwOPcQ5LsPmLrKPml06AWd2-9ibDLQJnHEm8s1lzNyivDPNUK3zWwg3yMU-0XYt9dw8zZbeL8HFFCvFK1LJn5qqFZ-gvOor_iCv0A3Ip2egGwz4AmYedAzUYE/s1600/buddy-ebsen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjemhEhADjhD9xOm6pggASLwOPcQ5LsPmLrKPml06AWd2-9ibDLQJnHEm8s1lzNyivDPNUK3zWwg3yMU-0XYt9dw8zZbeL8HFFCvFK1LJn5qqFZ-gvOor_iCv0A3Ip2egGwz4AmYedAzUYE/s320/buddy-ebsen.jpg" /></a></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"> </div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"> </div><span style="font-size: small;"></span><br />
<br />
I figure a guy making can afford a couple of warehouses full of Dawn Dishsoap, which is used to clean the oil-covered animals, so here is a link for you Tony! <a href="http://www.deepwaterhorizonresponse.com/go/page/2931/46359/">http://www.deepwaterhorizonresponse.com/go/page/2931/46359/</a><br />
<br />
But really, because this guy is really the biggest bloody wanker since the Earl of Bute (look it up) I think he should just be tarred and feathered- along with other ill-responsible BP mucketty mucks- and <i><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">fired. </span></b></i><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;">BTW Tony, you should probably purchase a copy of</span></span><i><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Thank You for Firing Me! How to Catch the Next Wave of Success After You Lose Your Job. Pay special attention to Chapter 8- "Big Waves Ahead: Hot Green Industries Coming Your Way!" <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Thank-You-Firing-Me-Success/dp/1402769563">http://www.amazon.com/Thank-You-Firing-Me-Success/dp/1402769563</a></span></span><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></b></i><br />
<br />
Oh, and if you are looking for a gig with this nasty company, or you just really, really need a job, go ahead an apply. Just don't tell your friends where you work.<br />
<a href="http://www.bp.com/"><span class="f"><cite>www.<b>bp.com</b>/</cite></span></a>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-82036611448858242212010-05-23T11:08:00.000-07:002010-05-25T08:06:24.520-07:00You Need to be a Teeny Bit Crazy to Get a Job!<span style="font-size: large;">Times are tough in the job world and some people are going a little nuts when they can't find work.</span><br />
<br />
I get it, it can make you a little loony when you have to pay bills with a negative bank account, have to pretend to be happy when you're out with your paycheck enhanced and employed friends and crazy when you find yourself taking gigs that you wouldn't even want your brother-in-law to have to do... right...crazy like a fox!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_lTw0G6ouq_-okqqQ5qSLepFThM7SFw6QpBITgNX1fytejUpPyPdxRtDw_HVMpUH66E9Kw-0ep9axmJkSh9xwBkinZpo8GPpQxMPQLK9a023-0hR1KutJQI7ZYMDkzDkriJShJ3eH8Hwr/s1600/Crazy+Fox.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_lTw0G6ouq_-okqqQ5qSLepFThM7SFw6QpBITgNX1fytejUpPyPdxRtDw_HVMpUH66E9Kw-0ep9axmJkSh9xwBkinZpo8GPpQxMPQLK9a023-0hR1KutJQI7ZYMDkzDkriJShJ3eH8Hwr/s200/Crazy+Fox.jpeg" width="164" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
That's right, craaaaazy! Just yesterday I was speaking to a friend I hadn't heard from since he lost his job 10 years ago with one of the world's biggest golf club makers. He was the 'Golden Boy' on the fast track to success, but something wasnt quit right. Literally. He went crazy. Bonkers. Wacky!<br />
<br />
<br />
He soon found himself heavily medicated and without a job. He was diagnosed with this and that, but I think he was unhappy in his job. Sure it paid well. Yes, he logged long hours, but he got to golf quite a bit and hang out with professional duffers (boooring!) but it wasn't his calling! He wasn't afraid of hard work- hell he was a store janitor when he was a teenager- but he wanted to be around horses. That was his calling!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPiTZ-a9uGGW05z6rSN__OGQfiirxU1ZR8fzWYBgTVVVkxxDUqwVLvc-R9U5qhG0fQiqEU9p-bBHSp4qplmQOJzUTPfm-gn6TRc0cnFJ6Kv1Pq_2nwB0EvB27vDRhGpyrAAINniyFNBO9U/s1600/Blog-+golf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPiTZ-a9uGGW05z6rSN__OGQfiirxU1ZR8fzWYBgTVVVkxxDUqwVLvc-R9U5qhG0fQiqEU9p-bBHSp4qplmQOJzUTPfm-gn6TRc0cnFJ6Kv1Pq_2nwB0EvB27vDRhGpyrAAINniyFNBO9U/s320/Blog-+golf.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
A decade later he found his mind again (well, kind of.) and he is doing what he loves to do! He travels, he works with horses which he has done since he was a child and other like-minded horsey people and is writing a book. Not everyone can be out-of-their minds in this world of 15 million unemployed people, but if you're slightly sane, maybe you can take advantage of the other nut-jobs out there. It's worth a try.<br />
Now go take your meds and apply for one of these gigs!<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Mental Health Evaluator</b><br />
<a href="http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobDetails.aspx?job_did=J8E5H56JQZV6PLM3CTQ&siteid=sep_juju_healthcare&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=085a5025818d49ed9877eda171d3042f-327938472-RC-4">http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobDetails.aspx?job_did=J8E5H56JQZV6PLM3CTQ&siteid=sep_juju_healthcare&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=085a5025818d49ed9877eda171d3042f-327938472-RC-4</a><br />
<br />
<b>Mental Health Staff</b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobDetails.aspx?job_did=J7X4HX6HMNFWF7QFZC3&siteid=sep_juju_nurse">http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobDetails.aspx?job_did=J7X4HX6HMNFWF7QFZC3&siteid=sep_juju_nurse</a><br />
<br />
<b>Patton State Hospital- the Creme de la Creme!</b><br />
<a href="http://www.dmh.ca.gov/services_and_programs/state_hospitals/patton/Human_Resources/default.asp">http://www.dmh.ca.gov/services_and_programs/state_hospitals/patton/Human_Resources/default.asp</a><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Golf Jobs...as if this game doesn't make you crazy!</b><br />
<a href="https://callawaygolf.tms.hrdepartment.com/cgi-bin/a/searchjobs_quick.cgi">https://callawaygolf.tms.hrdepartment.com/cgi-bin/a/searchjobs_quick.cgi</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://pgajobfinder.pgalinks.com/helpwanted/empcenter/search/job_detailed.cfm?jfid=43360">http://pgajobfinder.pgalinks.com/helpwanted/empcenter/search/job_detailed.cfm?jfid=43360</a><br />
<br />
And here's a Mulligan for you!<br />
<a href="http://pgajobfinder.pgalinks.com/helpwanted/empcenter/search/job_detailed.cfm?jfid=43363">http://pgajobfinder.pgalinks.com/helpwanted/empcenter/search/job_detailed.cfm?jfid=43363 </a><br />
<br />
PS- While you are contemplating life..or if you're in the loony bin, and you are looking for great book recommendation, check out Flashlight Worthy at <a href="http://www.flashlightworthybooks.com/">http://www.flashlightworthybooks.com/ </a><br />
Everything looks better with a good book!firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-47455476158634769902010-04-11T15:55:00.000-07:002010-04-11T15:55:43.836-07:00My Flight Attendent is so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">I mean seriously!</span></b></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhACn8IdXbogbqzyFo7n3MIicTlA2sP7Xz5TLy7m9wYdUq9QxQBitq3avITTgXKd66rrYZ-sESNieOJbbaKRRs1zncKdtrXQGvDfQHkiA34o4MK6a3RlilUkUm-h9swzZyD15cdLuKzuHHn/s1600/fat-flight-attendant-300x289.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhACn8IdXbogbqzyFo7n3MIicTlA2sP7Xz5TLy7m9wYdUq9QxQBitq3avITTgXKd66rrYZ-sESNieOJbbaKRRs1zncKdtrXQGvDfQHkiA34o4MK6a3RlilUkUm-h9swzZyD15cdLuKzuHHn/s320/fat-flight-attendant-300x289.jpg" /></a></div><br />
I know that in this economy everyone wants to continue working, but if you can't make it down the aisle without limping or your wide-bodied rear-end knocks some guys drink off his tray, perhaps it's time to take your itty-bitty pension and retire to a nice little condo in Bocca. I mean, you'll still have those free flight comps, right?<br />
<br />
But while flying recently my flight attendents did not look like they could open the damn bag of peaunuts, so it did nothing to make me think they could tackle a terrorist. Or hell, a belligerant grannny either! And the extra baggage one flight attendent was carrying made me wonder if her boss charged <em>HER</em> 25 extra bucks every time she brought that ass on board.<br />
<br />
I'm not trying to be mean, but here's the deal.(I don't have to try) At some point Boomers, we've got to step aside and let X and Y have their turn. It's a matter of survival of the fittest. If you can't do your job, find one that you CAN do. It's not fair to the kids who need that piss-poor paying gig that you've held on to since your min-skirt became a potholder.<br />
<br />
A recent report by the Bureau of Labor predicted that the <br />
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</tbody></table>employment of cabin crew members is expected to grow about as fast as the average for all occupations through the year 2012. Population growth and an improving economy are expected to boost the number of airline passengers.<br />
<br />
But old timers- ya gotta let it go! <br />
<br />
So, below are a few high-flying gigs for those UNDER the age of my mom and with a little less junk in the trunk.<br />
<br />
<i>It's the only way to fly! </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"> Jobs for sky-high job</span>s!</b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://aviationemploymentboard.net/">http://aviationemploymentboard.net/</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.southwest.com/careers/flight_attendant.html">http://www.southwest.com/careers/flight_attendant.html</a> <br />
<br />
Airline Inflight Resources, a professional recruiting company devoted exclusively to airlines. She can be reached by e-mail at jetfa@cfl.rr.com.<br />
<br />
<br />
AND, jobs for your former hot-pants wearing stewdesses!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mahalo.com/how-to-become-a-walmart-greeter">http://www.mahalo.com/how-to-become-a-walmart-greeter</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.knollcc.com/welcome.htm">http://www.knollcc.com/welcome.htm</a>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-35398706361428103982010-04-02T13:14:00.000-07:002010-04-02T13:16:49.314-07:00Tattoo On...Tattoo Off...for money!<div style="color: red;"><br />
</div><span style="color: red;">Jobs for tattoo artists</span> are becoming quite popular due to the <span class="J-JK9eJ-PJVNOc" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;">umm</span>, sexy ladies that have been appearing in People Magazine and E! Make no mistake about it, the tattoo <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD1">industry</span> is hot right now. There are an estimated 20,000+ parlors operating in the United States, according to a U.S. News & World Report article, which said, on the average, an establishment is being added in the country every day. The article ranked tattooing as the sixth fastest growing retail venture of the 1990s, right behind Internet, paging services, bagels, computer and cell phones.<br />
<br />
I mean, who doesn't want to be covered from head to toe in ink with faeries and butterflies...and scary Nazi propaganda and monkey butts...well you get the drift. People have some crazy imaginations and tattoo artists are talented and creative and there is money out there for them to collect. Kids want them, teens want them, moms want them and home wreckers want them.....or do they?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFIw1SwIwN5hJ_e0PysENXfW82XOPHJPemQ41NltiRnPodoSgPnUrR32ll9On0eTXXEZ29AlJSEjBzh1R8yO1tU7efx-f1MY75obpASWlxlv4N0zqHz792Av7XAIUhUpfuwVLbVHeB1wgY/s1600/mapa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="123" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFIw1SwIwN5hJ_e0PysENXfW82XOPHJPemQ41NltiRnPodoSgPnUrR32ll9On0eTXXEZ29AlJSEjBzh1R8yO1tU7efx-f1MY75obpASWlxlv4N0zqHz792Av7XAIUhUpfuwVLbVHeB1wgY/s200/mapa.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
Imagine you were a biker in the 70's and you thought it was cool to have a tattoo that reads. " Free Mustache Rides" on your forehead and now you are trying to get a job as a teacher at an all girls school? Yeah, not bloody likely, right? Or maybe you were an obscure tattoo model from San Diego who had an affair with some really nice woman's husband and now everyone in America thinks you're a <span class="J-JK9eJ-PJVNOc">skank</span> and you can't even go to the 7/11 for ciggies because your tattoos give you away.<br />
<br />
<br />
So that brings me to another job opportunity- and that would be- tattoo removal tech<br />
Because how embarrassing it is for your kids when you show up at the PTA with "This Bitch Doesn't Fall Off!" tattooed on your arms. Yeah, not so pretty now, is it?<br />
<br />
<br />
So, artists, put the paper away and get yourself hired at a tattoo parlor--and the rest of you, find a way to erase those mistakes for a paycheck!<br />
<br />
<i><b>Zee Plane, Zee Plane! </b></i>(Yeah, this has nothing to do with jobs, but it's Tattoo from Fantasy Island and I can't get it out of my head. Now you have it in yours. My gift to you.)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="color: purple;">Tattoo Jobs</div><br />
<div class="StatValue" id="c_web_apply"><a class="jam_link" href="http://www.jobnab.com/?14781" id="a_web_apply" rel="nofollow">http://www.jobnab.com?14781</a></div><div class="StatValue" id="c_web_apply"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/yzmmurf"><b>http://tinyurl.com/yzmmurf</b></a></div><a href="http://tinyurl.com/ykfjums"><b>http://tinyurl.com/ykfjums</b></a><br />
<div style="color: lime;"><br />
</div><div style="color: magenta;">Tattoo Removal Jobs---</div><a href="http://www.drtattoff.com/employment">http://www.drtattoff.com/employment</a><br />
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/yjd6tdm"><b>http://tinyurl.com/yjd6tdm</b></a> <br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="color: blue;">Tattoo Removal Training--- </div><a href="http://www.no-tattoo.com/">http://www.no-tattoo.com/</a><br />
<a href="http://nationallaserinstitute.com/medical-laser-technician.html">http://nationallaserinstitute.com/medical-laser-technician.html</a>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-15898125156090684222010-03-26T20:48:00.000-07:002010-03-26T20:48:58.946-07:00Ex-Mistress Needs Work- Will for Once Promise to Behave....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaoZGxBYHbtxI_z8cVfz-LF03PIFJ9zG1QHLgw6p-Q07J3Urm-KzbK7rInVP2cXfeVIbb-tLM_Z8VKVqpVNS6sTcVwlkW8gDNmBVvAT_ER0UDLmpjT9eNbaiFJ7nCM67fKebBLYn97KqbL/s1600/headmistress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaoZGxBYHbtxI_z8cVfz-LF03PIFJ9zG1QHLgw6p-Q07J3Urm-KzbK7rInVP2cXfeVIbb-tLM_Z8VKVqpVNS6sTcVwlkW8gDNmBVvAT_ER0UDLmpjT9eNbaiFJ7nCM67fKebBLYn97KqbL/s320/headmistress.jpg" /></a></div>With all these mistresses seemingly out of a job now, it looks as if I need to get involved. I mean there's Brigitte Daguerre, Melissa Smith, Michelle 'Bombshell' McGee, Devon James, Loredana Joli, Cori Rist, Rachel Uchitel...OK, all of this drama is wearing me out! But, I take my job as an anti-career expert seriously, so I want to find these young, umm, women a job befitting their stature.<br />
<br />
What are their skills again? Hmm, let me check the web, be right back....<i>OH, IS THAT WHAT THEY DO?</i><br />
Umm, OK, I've got it! The perfect job!<br />
Of course, as a mistress, they all want to be 'The One." But,as Star Magazine tells us, that's not always possible. So, I have found these pushy and tough young gals places to send their resumes---"That means a list of all your jobs Sweetie!"<br />
They all thought they were ' Head Mistress,' so I have found jobs for them to apply as...HEAD MISTRESS! (How smart am I? <i>I know!</i>)<br />
So ladies, here are a few, umm positions, that you might not be familiar with, but check it out, get a passport if applicable- there are a lot of people who would like you to leave the country, hint, hint- and reinvent yourself. <i><b>You can do it </b></i>and here's another big-ass hint: You don't need a man to get famous! DUH!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/ygswhzb"><b>http://tinyurl.com/ygswhzb</b></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_2083800242"><br />
</a><br />
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/ykmjllj"><b>http://tinyurl.com/ykmjllj</b></a><b> </b><br />
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<a href="http://tinyurl.com/yhqllen"><b>http://tinyurl.com/yhqllen</b></a><br />
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PS- Other than Pennsylvania, we have NO idea where these places are...but it's safe to say that TMZ won't be following you anymore....unless you screw up again. Sigh.firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-17921026168489599392010-03-25T21:37:00.000-07:002010-03-25T21:55:11.894-07:00Join the Tea Party Movement and Earn an Honest Buck!<span style="font-size: large;">Do you want to protest unemployment?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Do you want to boycott joblessness?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Do you want to demonstrate your rights to work?</span><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Well then get a freakin tea job! </span></i><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsXM5WZH7L1T7VQPFe5SHeoXqkSctlwQeF4nXY_NNZux2cLa3zM-eClmDvaTCxYEAvfYy34nzIWjOYX_MHKdjF3r0xb3gotFYSOnm2Mb9hwVk29O-JvpbcUDa4B5wXKF5wuzyzUbn_C_Sc/s1600/london+001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsXM5WZH7L1T7VQPFe5SHeoXqkSctlwQeF4nXY_NNZux2cLa3zM-eClmDvaTCxYEAvfYy34nzIWjOYX_MHKdjF3r0xb3gotFYSOnm2Mb9hwVk29O-JvpbcUDa4B5wXKF5wuzyzUbn_C_Sc/s320/london+001.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
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That's right, because what's more American than TEA? OK, well, Coke, and hot dogs and apple pie...and never mind! But TEA, it's such an important part of American history, right? There was that whole tea tossing episode into the Boston Harbor a thousand years ago or so...and now I hear there is this new wave of parties that celebrate tea. And teabags and other things I guess I don't understand, so I thought some of you would like to put down your signs and actually get a job. It seems that you people who like tea so much have a lot of time on your hands, so here are some diverse jobs in the tea biz that might interest you enough to stop being so mad all the time and change into some normal clothes. Sheeesh, take some deep breaths, put on a pot of tea, grab an application and stop all the yelling.<br />
As for me, I don't care much for tea, give me some all-American coffee any day!<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Party down with Tea Jobs!</span></b><br />
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</style> Peets Coffee & Tea--- <a href="http://www.peets.com/%20"><cite><span style="font-style: normal;">www.peets.com/ </span></cite></a><o:p></o:p><br />
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<cite><span style="font-style: normal;">Teavana ---</span></cite><a href="http://www.teavana.com/about-us/careers"><cite><span style="font-style: normal;">www.teavana.com/about-us/careers</span></cite></a><o:p></o:p><br />
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<cite><span style="font-style: normal;">Join the tea movement abroad. That's right, you can move out of the country and find a new job in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">India</st1:place></st1:country-region>. And a new life- I might even help you pack your bags!!!</span></cite><o:p></o:p><br />
<cite><span style="font-style: normal;">Look for tea jobs with Tata Tea Ltd. <a href="http://www.naukrihub.com/india/fmcg/companies/tata-tea/career/">http://www.naukrihub.com/india/fmcg/companies/tata-tea/career/</a></span></cite><br />
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<cite><span style="font-style: normal;">And, because I know you love the country of Texas, I found a tea job there as well- with the Texas Education Agency- sounds very patriotic to me! <a href="http://ritter.tea.state.tx.us/hr/jvn/">http://ritter.tea.state.tx.us/hr/jvn/ </a></span></cite><o:p></o:p><br />
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firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-70705192345047108012010-03-22T15:58:00.000-07:002010-03-22T16:03:05.176-07:00Whining about job loss ladies?? Well SNAP OUT OF IT!Listen I know it's tough out there, but seriously, I am tired of having to hold your hand every step of the way. I need a little break. Maybe a vacation on an island with a pina colada whipped up by a hunky island guy who is slightly near-sighted so he can't see how old I am. Yes, that sounds wonderful! But, just so you don't fall apart while I jet away (in my mind) here's a gal who can whip you into shape career-wise. Take some deep breaths and meet my friend Angela of It's A Chick Thing Coaching<cite>-----</cite><br />
<a href="http://www.itsachickthingcoaching.com/index.html">http://www.itsachickthingcoaching.com/index.html</a><br />
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Angela is a real, bona-fide career coach. (yes, I know, I'm an <i>anti-career</i> expert, but apparently not all of you are ready for that. Maybe after your midlfe cirises you will catch on.) ANYWAY, as I was saying, Angela's really got it going on and is funny and younger than me and she's damn smart- actually graduated from college and everything.!<br />
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Angela specializes in collaborating with <b>young professional women</b> just starting out or transitioning in their careers and who may be struggling to find their way through life...hey, that sounds like <i>ME</i>..20 years and a few Botox injections down the road!<br />
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So let's give all of our attention to Angela while I'm gone, and if you start whining again that you hate your job and refuse to do anything about it Angela has my permission to slap you into shape. Angela, good luck, because I am grabbing my bathing suit and headed out the door!<br />
Don't forget- check out Angela NOW! <br />
<a href="http://www.itsachickthingcoaching.com/index.html">http://www.itsachickthingcoaching.com/index.html</a>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-20367682972753895642010-03-21T17:03:00.000-07:002010-03-21T17:09:00.467-07:00Jobs for Soon-to-be-Fired Health Care Executives<b>Now that the Health Care Bill has passed, we've been told that a ton of new jobs would be opening up out there for regular folks. </b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDq-JDVKV1bDhV5lp7j0wPepJkFV-eBqf0qmKvv4qg0ZRm48OvVDdaWyIloE-XnGmUdY_VxtfLIk7jOxnnSDHIAOEs7rwl__29vG92wYTxp1TlOigZFVbA_IFV9RrgC0sR5ATm59NTecIL/s1600-h/Jezuz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDq-JDVKV1bDhV5lp7j0wPepJkFV-eBqf0qmKvv4qg0ZRm48OvVDdaWyIloE-XnGmUdY_VxtfLIk7jOxnnSDHIAOEs7rwl__29vG92wYTxp1TlOigZFVbA_IFV9RrgC0sR5ATm59NTecIL/s320/Jezuz.jpg" width="260" /></a></div><br />
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Data collected by Neeraj Sood, a professor at the University of Southern California who has looked at the impact of rising health care costs on employment, and David Cutler, a economist at Harvard University who has studied the impact of health care reform on care and insurance premiums estimate that health care reform could produce, on average, 250,000 to 400,000 jobs a year over the next decade. Not bad, not bad at all. But we got to thinking...what about those health insurance executives who make a gazillion dollars a year? What will happen to them when they can't charge people $4,900 for a Band-aid? What will happen to their fancy jets and something called a pension? (We've heard of these things but don't know anyone who actually has one. Kind of like Bigfoot.) So we got to feeling kind of sorry for these executives and we thought we would throw them a bone. Find them a job befitting their status and popularity with the American people. We wouldn't want to deny them anything like, umm, a job with health care now that they're just...like...us now would we?<b> </b><br />
<b>We just hope your last job doesn't count as a pre-existing condition on your resume!</b><br />
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<b>1.Odor Tester</b> <o:p></o:p><br />
This job is not for anyone with their nose out of joint, so get over it, the people have spoken!, A <a href="http://www.jobprofiles.org/programs/science/chemistry.htm" title="chemist">chemist</a> is almost like a doctor so you can say 'yeah' or 'No" to the smells of deodorants and anti-perspirants. Wow, great job we stink!<o:p></o:p><br />
<b>2. Hair Boiler </b><o:p></o:p><br />
Who knew this job even existed? This <a href="http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/dirtyjobs/quizzes/quizzes.html">lucky soul</a> gets to boil various kinds of animal hair until it curls for later use. We know that burning hair smells terrible; but try to imagine what an open-sore smells like with no health care. Nice huh? <o:p></o:p><br />
http://www.jobtitles.org/hair-boiler-operator-description-4403.html <o:p></o:p><br />
<b>3. Waste Station/Water Treatment Worker</b><o:p></o:p><br />
As a health care executive you're used to dealing with <a href="http://www.dsc.discovery.com/fansites/dirtyjobs/top-ten/top-ten.html">other peoples crap</a>. You better hurry, a lot of you guys are qualified for this one!<o:p></o:p><br />
<o:p></o:p> <b>4. Weed Farmer</b><o:p></o:p><br />
<a href="http://www.jobprofiles.org/programs/science/agriculture.htm" title="agriculture">Weed farmers</a> actually grow weeds rather than trying to get rid of them. They sell them to <a href="http://www.nybg.org/edu/soph/overview.php">horticulture schools</a> and labs so various people can do research and studies in the wonderful world of weeds. Kind of like health care and science all rolled into one!<o:p></o:p><br />
<b>5. Carney</b><o:p></o:p><br />
This one is a no-brainer--- <a href="http://www.trivia-library.com/a/business-in-the-us-odd-and-bizarre-jobs-carnival-barker.htm">carney</a>. The pay is decent, the scenery changes, and you get take advantage of young people by taking their money and offering them stuffed animals instead. As we said, no-brainer!. <o:p></o:p><br />
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</span>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-36031770415010909762010-03-12T12:38:00.000-08:002010-03-18T14:09:18.464-07:00You're Fired! Now Let Me Help You Find A Job....It's what I live for.<br />
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SO..... for the past four days I have been in New York, pimping out the book and while I've been out and about, I've seen some pretty unhappy folks in their jobs. Seriously people, is the money THAT important? Yes, I understand that homelessness will not get you laid, but it must suck to be you in that crappy job.<br />
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Example: There were at least six unhappy <span class="J-JK9eJ-PJVNOc">Puerto</span> Rican girls in the Bloomingdale's dressing room that ALL seemed to hate their jobs..and I get it. It must not be fun to put up with snooty Manhattan socialites and Debs trying on slinky party dresses for events that said <span class="J-JK9eJ-PJVNOc">Puerto</span> Rican girls are not invited to. That said, I would like to advise these young women that there are better jobs out there where they will wake up in the morning and put that sassy attitude to work.<br />
Let me cho you. <br />
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Cop--<a href="http://www.blogger.com/-http://westendjobs.ca/jobs.php?ad=ff8112af28683f27b42ac6bcb24017d4">-http://westendjobs.ca/jobs.php?ad=ff8112af28683f27b42ac6bcb24017d4</a><br />
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Body Guard--- <a href="http://bodyguardvacancies.reallyfabjobs.com/">http://bodyguardvacancies.reallyfabjobs.com/</a><br />
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Boxer---- <a href="http://www.womenboxing.com/women5.htm">http://www.womenboxing.com/women5.htm</a><br />
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But, getting back to Bloomingdale's- because I did a few times- there was a salesman named Abi, from Morocco, who seemed to LOVE his job. And, <i>quell surprise</i>, he works on commission only. (Shame on Bloomingdale's.) He had a great attitude and was friendly and patient to my friends and I. He made our shopping day(s) a wonderful experience and he actually told me that he loved his job- on COMMISSION ONLY! wow, I am unworthy Abi.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg46Zztn_p-x94r4_H54yHwRN5ksrRAntu4tm_d6FtE6NCY8vivPhiwBFCTobidD-vcmbNuPAy5-Q289ZgLR-QuwZ0L2wtFhP1l36xgT29pAHR_sW98nZnkl9hXwwMfx1bGMITCR5KjmHf1/s1600-h/seller.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg46Zztn_p-x94r4_H54yHwRN5ksrRAntu4tm_d6FtE6NCY8vivPhiwBFCTobidD-vcmbNuPAy5-Q289ZgLR-QuwZ0L2wtFhP1l36xgT29pAHR_sW98nZnkl9hXwwMfx1bGMITCR5KjmHf1/s320/seller.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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Even though he didn't ask, just for fun, I found a few jobs for positive guys who love selling woman's' shoes- oh yes, Abi is in the shoe department, so I don't feel too sorry for him! Seriously, I don't blame him for being happy- I would work there for free too!<br />
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Abi is one of the happiest working guys in New York City- so if you are at Bloomies, make sure to ask for him- he will make your day!<br />
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<b>DSW Shoes--</b>-<b>http://tinyurl.com/ygxjvmz</b><br />
<b> </b><br />
<b>Mystery Shoe Job ---- http://tinyurl.com/yjbrln5</b> <br />
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Oh, and just in case you want to work for free at Bloomingdales- here you go!<br />
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http://www.bloomingdalesjobs.com/bloomingdales/career/searchjobs.asp#top<br />
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<div id="refHTML"></div>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4019801824446291662.post-43902858303445568382010-02-27T12:20:00.000-08:002010-02-27T12:24:38.492-08:00What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?I wanted to be an actress, but mom and dad wouldn't send me to drama school. My back-up plan was to be a dancer but I had two left feet. But I really wanted to be a writer but no one told me I could be one. So for 20 years I had odd jobs such as singing waitress and funeral director until I woke up and said, "Hey I just remembered, I want to be a writer!" So I started writing. I bought books and read up on how to get published (this is before the magic machine called the Internet was invented.) and then I was soon published. Again, and again and well, thousands of times!<br />
I finally got to be what I wanted to be.<br />
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So what are your dreams?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj859lbifoh-T1K-_46WM418YyY3gce-qgYrS_sBFlkuaYVd3qBDZqEcAv4zdqCuDh563n8HT95A-a_CyFDiX7dLw1ywAo2FV9aqkh9M_ueBUGv5hfOAx8OpDJkPRWr7oPXgmWxIJtfNdRL/s1600-h/young-business-person.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj859lbifoh-T1K-_46WM418YyY3gce-qgYrS_sBFlkuaYVd3qBDZqEcAv4zdqCuDh563n8HT95A-a_CyFDiX7dLw1ywAo2FV9aqkh9M_ueBUGv5hfOAx8OpDJkPRWr7oPXgmWxIJtfNdRL/s320/young-business-person.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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Did you want to be a cowboy? Because you still can be one! Here check it out dude! Toss the suit and put oh some of those hot leather chaps.... <a href="http://www.duderanchjobs.com/job">http://www.duderanchjobs.com/job</a><br />
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How about circus performer. Seriously, I know you used to dream of running away with the circus and of flying through the air, but before you take that leap, here are some places to learn how to update your circus skills: <br />
<a href="http://www.ehow.com/how-to_4845448_3_join-a-circus.html">http://www.ehow.com/how-to_4845448_3_join-a-circus.html</a><br />
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Let's see, I know kids want to be teachers and firefighters and doctors and, umm lawyers (I almost couldn't write that one, but I'm trying to be unbiased.) so here are a couple of gigs for all you jobless dreamers. Get back to being a kid again and you might just find yourself happily employed.<br />
<a href="http://www.teachers-teachers.com/teaching-jobs.cfm">http://www.teachers-teachers.com/teaching-jobs.cfm</a><br />
<a href="http://www.firefighter-jobs.com/">http://www.firefighter-jobs.com/</a><br />
<a href="http://www.physemp.com/">http://www.physemp.com/</a><br />
<a href="http://www.alternativelawyerjobs.com/">http://www.alternativelawyerjobs.com/</a><br />
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AND CHECK OUT HOW MY DREAM CAME TRUE!<br />
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<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=jobs4yourfire-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=1402769563&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>firedwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03863177995615733196noreply@blogger.com0