jobs4yourfiredass

Talk the Talk...for Money!

2012-01-30T18:33:00.000-08:00

Do you talk real smart? Do you know a lot of big words? Well, then maybe you should become a speechwriter!

Seriously- this is the year to put your words in other people's mouths. There are gigs out there that pay big bucks for your words- so, you know, Fore score and all that.

Conservative:
http://www.rcjobs.com/jobseeker/job/9506737/Speechwriter/Confidential/?vnet=0

Liberal:
https://careers-clintonfoundation.icims.com/jobs/1844/job?&sn=Indeed&?mode=apply&iis=Indeed&iisn=Indeed

And Cleveland:
http://www.simplyhired.com/job-id/sqstxl42k7/executive-speechwriter-jobs/

I Love Monsters, Horror Movies, Science Fiction, and Comic Books

2011-03-28T12:32:00.000-07:00

How the Person Who Said That Landed a Dream Job

Are there holes in your life where your skills and experiences don’t connect with your passions and dreams?
Check this out:

“I can talk to people, convince them I have good ideas," said Tiffany Giles. " I can sell cosmetics. I’m patient. I don’t give up easily. I have a creative imagination. I know how to put makeup on people. I can draw. I can sculpt little monsters and creatures out of modeling clay. I’m a stickler for details. I can sew. I can make my own Halloween costumes. I’m a pretty good hustler.”

What’s missing? For Giles: knowing how to apply special effects makeup, experience, and money to learn the trade.

After researching the special effects makeup field and talking with someone in the job placement department at a special effects makeup school in Los Angeles, Giles applied for student loans and signed up for a program that would provide her with the necessary qualifications.

Her student loans covered most of her tuition and housing expense. For extra income, she freelanced at photography studios doing makeup for actors who needed headshots. Later she teamed up with a photographer and started a “fantasy photo portrait” business, where Giles transformed her customers with an exotic fantasy look using costumes and makeup.

Chances are you’ve met or heard of people who turned their passions into careers. Contact them and ask them how they did it. You might find out it’s easier than you imagined. Start by thinking about your obsessions, hobbies, subjects you love to talk about at parties and the kinds of magazines or websites you’re compelled to visit for clues.

Be patient, particularly in this environment. Don’t look desperate. It makes you a less attractive candidate at best, tainted goods at worst. One option is to consider offering your services on a consulting basis. Present it as a potential win-win. The company can test drive you without committing to a full-time hire, and you can likewise check out the fit. You are positioning yourself as someone with functional expertise they can use, not someone desperate for a job. If you have done a good job of understanding what you are good at you will know the strengths you can leverage in this regard.
Don’t lose heart. Dare to live your passion. The possibilities truly are unlimited.

Make Money off the Old People...

2011-03-21T14:19:00.000-07:00

That's right...the baby boomer generation makes up more than one-third of the U.S. population. They represent a total income estimated to be well over 900 billion dollars — give or take a billion or two after the recession hit. Boomers are still the wealthiest, best educated, and most sophisticated purchasers, not to mention well-preserved, and they represent a dramatic 40 percent of total consumer demand.

The bad news for baby boomers is that they are getting old. The good news for you, if you are willing to pick up the pieces, is that this aging process is creating jobs. Boomers are creating a demand for (legal) drugs, health services, and medical supplies. Healthcare, which today makes up 16 percent of the gross national product, is three times bigger than it was in 1960, according to the Kaiser Foundation. Consequently, job openings in the healthcare field continue to grow, says a report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Since June 2007, healthcare has added 348,000 jobs. In June of 2009 alone, 15,000 jobs were added in the field, 13,000 in ambulatory services. Currently, there are 1.4 million nursing-home residents, 900,000 residents in assisted-living facilities, 750,000 independent-living residents, some 150,000 use adult day services, and 1.4 million utilize home health. But that’s just today — only about half of the senior population anticipated when the boomers hit 70 and 80.

Companies that manufacture home healthcare products, such as walkers and wheelchairs, will be prospering in the next decade. This means that factory, sales, and management jobs will start popping up just as boomers’ knees start giving out. Companies such as qualitymedicalsupplies.com and alliancemedequip.com also offer jobs in this “hip” industry.

Boomers want to spend their last days in good health and comfort, so if you have a great idea for hot-pink wheelchairs or zebra-print shower chairs, get it designed and hit the patent office like some of these other brilliant minds have done.

Boomers are obsessed with not only acting and thinking young but looking young. They are fixated on external beauty, so here’s your chance to capitalize on their vanity. Aging baby boomers are seeking out the Fountain of Youth more than ever. Whether it’s to combat new wrinkles or for relaxation, they’re rushing into day spas and destination spas. Careers as estheticians and in plastic surgeons’ offices are as plentiful as the wrinkles on a boomer’s face. Estheticianjobs.com as well as skinscienceinstitute.com are great places to start your search for a gig in a spa, hotel, resort, or doctor’s office.

If you previously worked as an administrative assistant or a receptionist, there are plastic surgeons that need front and back office help. In addition to a paycheck, the perks of Botox and silicon are great benefits. Medhunters.com and medicalworkers.com are two great sites to start your search for office jobs where you get to look at “before” and “after” people all day.
Massage is another avenue that has become a hot seller. There are millions of boomers waiting for you to poke, prod, and knead them — all in the name of youth. Massageenvy.com and massagefranchisereview.com are two sites where you can find relaxing franchise opportunities. Another great resource is alternativehealthbusiness.com.
In the end, boomers will be great for the job market. It’s up to you to figure out how you’re going to take their money while creating a new life, a new job and a new attitude for yourself. What are you waiting for? They’re not getting any younger!

This is the Captain Speaking..I've Been Fired

2011-01-04T09:41:00.000-08:00

If you lost your job this week due to grabbing the ass of the gal in accounting during your Christmas party, don't feel too bad.

Imagine how Capt. Owen Honors commander of the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise feels.

I mean, all he did was demean gays and women. You know, many of the people he is in charge of?
It was a silly little mistake. Stimulating masturbation and exposing his Captain-Queeg balls in a lewd movie he then previewed to his entire crew was all about raising morale. Now he's been relieved of his command.

Where's the love Mr. President?

Maybe it's time to retire Mr. Honor. Seriously, there's no shame in calling it quits if your boss- the US Government- doesn't appreciate you OR your sense of humor, right? You need to find a place where you can express your creativity and your un-politically correct sense of humor. You need a job where you can spread your legs, er, wings and fly like the Top Gun you were meant to be!

So listen up Maverick, while it's still a fresh New Year, here are a few jobs just right for you. Think about it: you certainly don't want to end up flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong now do you?

Jobs for dis-honored Capt. Honors:

http://www.cruisejobfinder.com/JobDescriptions/activity_entertainment_jobs.php

http://www.standupjobs.com/

http://newjobslive.info/how-to-become-a-porn-director-making-amateur-adult-films/

Librarians (and their Jobs) Are HOT!

2010-09-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

"I love you madly, madly, Madam Librarian...Marian
It's a long lost cause I can never win
For the civilized world accepts as unforgivable sin
Any talking out loud with any librarian
Such as Marian.....Madam Librarian."

OK, so those lyrics are from a song from the musical, "The Music Man" written about 190 years years ago, but seriously, the Librarian was played by Shirley Jones...you know, the mom on the Partridge Family...HOT!!!! (I know, the male lead was gay, but even, he was hot for the Librarian!)

So let's ask ourselves, WHY are Librarians always cast as the smart hotties? Could it be that only they know the secrets of the Dewey Decimal System? Sure. We’ve all got our preconceived notions about who Librarians are and what they do. Many people think of Librarians as boring worker bees, shelving and “Shhh-ing” people. But hold the phone! Librarians have degrees. They go to graduate school for Library and Information Science and become masters of data systems and Human-Computer Interaction. Librarians can catalog anything-- They could catalog you. Librarians wield universal powers. People become Librarians because they're too smart to go into politics. Librarians are all-knowing and all-seeing. They bring order to chaos. They bring wisdom and culture to the masses and they protect the First Amendment like it was their baby. Librarians rule. And no matter what their age- they..are..hot!

Sorry, I got little carried away there, but so should you. Here's the deal; if you're smarter than say, EVERYONE, you too should be a librarian. Or maybe you already have that library degree and your budget was cut and your city was stupid enough to put you on the "Hold" shelf. So, because you taught us all how to read, we have some awesome jobs for you dear Librarian. And don't worry, you can never be replaced by a computer because you are...the original search engine.

Executive Director
Brooklyn Public Library, Brooklyn, New York

http://joblist.ala.org/modules/jobseeker/Executive-Director/15741.cfm

Digital Initiatives/Metadata Librarian

Portland State University,
Portland, Oregon

http://joblist.ala.org/modules/jobseeker/Digital-InitiativesMetadata-Librarian/15742.cfm

Library Specialist
Contra Costa County Library, Pleasant Hill, California

http://joblist.ala.org/modules/jobseeker/Library-Specialist/15753.cfm

I Need to Fire Myself.

2010-08-11T19:06:00.000-07:00

Seriously. I have not blogged for a month. Is that any way to promote a book? I think not, so I am going to have ask myself to step into my office and say, "We need to talk."
Sigh. Nothing worse than firing yourself.

But I can take it. I've been fired by the best of them.
When I worked at the funeral parlour, my boss- an ex-stripper-now-funeral director, fired me for not doing my job. Not that SHE did her job, but the grand puba's in the Funeral Home wondered why there were bills from our office for parties. Well DUH, my boss was an ex-stripper! (as well as Miss Jugs, 1989.)
Someone had to take the fall. I got over it.

Another time I was fired from the 'Big and Tall Ladies Underwear Department' at a fancy store. I weighed 95 pounds. Hell, I couldn't even lift those panties. The clientele didn't really want a little skinny girl selling them girdles, so I got the old. "You just don't fit the job," talk. Pun probably not intended.

So, since I have been flying around the country trying to plan my first-born daughter's wedding and NOT promoting the book, so I should be fired. Or at least given a very stern talking to.

Jobs for fired writers:

Newspaper Delivery Jobs--
http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/job-J0JGXQQZBHU;_ylc=X3oDMTEwc2ZoY2ZqBF9TAzM5NjUxMDMzNQRjYXQDT1RIBHBjb2RlAzU0OTI2?source=partner&scode=54926

Inserter-
http://www.communicationsjobs.net/job.asp?id=25651392&aff=925A0F9A-7C85-4AAD-A3D2-5E5C81892E2F&utm_source=Indeed&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Indeed

And writers for porn
http://www.sexyjobs.com/writers.asp

Finding Fing Mel Gibson a Fing Job!

2010-07-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

Well now Mr. Pottymouth, it looks like your anger is going to help you lose a 30-year career.
Mel Gibson, actor, director and producer, was recently dropped (Hollywood word for "Fired.") by his agent William Morris Endeavor Entertainment amid allegations that he assaulted and made death threats against his ex-girlfriend. This is so are not going to help in a new job search.

It looks like his new movie called, umm, 'Beaver,' is going to bomb and he has been quoted saying he has money problems.

("You're a f---ing mentally deprived idiot. You can't even f---ing figure it out, I'm paying the tax money instead of the credit card. Don't you get it?" he told his ex-lover.)

A a woman, I don't condone this behavior for one minute, but I am forgiving and always want to help people have second, third.... OK, I lost count, but I want to help people find a job. (It's a good thing that I'm not Russian, Jewish, African-American or Latino, because I might not be so forgiving.)

But on to finding Mad Max a new job.

I've got to admit, this one is going to take some soul searching. First off, Mel might not walk away with a good reference from his former employer- you know, the public- but there is hope.

Mel's got some special skills.

While he probably wouldn't be a fit working in law enforcement, he does own a lot of guns. Perhaps a job as a gunsmith or in firearm sales?
www.shootingsearch.com

The actor who once stared in a movie called, "What Women Want," apparently doesn't know what women want, so any work in a woman's spa or salon is probably not a good career fit. But, since he's quick with his hands, how about finding a gig where he can spar for 8 hours a day?
http://laboxing.com/connect/employment/

And of course, everyone wants a job that they are passionate about, so....www.churchjobs.net/

So there you go- everyone deserves a job after they've screwed up and been fired- even a racist, sexist, narcissistic guy like Mel Gibson. And Mel, if none of these careers work out I have one final dream job that would be perfect for a swell guy like you: http://www.mahalo.com/how-to-become-a-walmart-greeter
No need to call and thank me Mel. No really, DO NOT CALL ME!

Jobs Hot Enough to Melt Ice Caps

2010-07-01T17:58:00.000-07:00

Do you want your job to do its part for the environment?

Do you want a gig that can cool down even the biggest -of-shots? Are you touchy-feely and knead to have hands-on experience before you can accept any cash/paychecks?
Well, this is your lucky day!

According to the most recent report released by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, careers in the massage industry are in-demand. In fact, the report projects that the growth of massage therapist positions will increase by 19 percent through 2018.

Not bad for having to work on sweaty naked people. Or is it? Standing on your feet all day pounding-a-pound-of-flesh can be tiring. Sometimes your client can get the wrong idea..after all, they ARE naked.

But at the end of the day, working as a Massuse or Masseur (That's French you know. They have the best words.) for people thinking with their umm, heads, can be rewarding both monetarily and personally. That's what I hope for you all in this scary economy.
A happy ending.

Massage schools--- http://pmi.edu/contact.asp
http://www.naturalhealers.com/feat-massage.shtml
Jobs---http://www.massagejobs.com/aboutMassageJobsCanada.shtml
and
http://www.massagejobs.com/
AND

http://www.massageenvycareers.com/

And because not everyone wants to go to college:
http://www.chezstella.org/stella/?q=en/pamela&PHPSESSID=ee4d3567fd1428af8878c25d659c9554

General Jobs for Fired Generals

2010-06-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

You know, no matter how indispensable you THINK you are, your ass can still be fired. I mean, sure you can come in late and take long-ass lunches and steal an office supply or two. Maybe you can even get away with drinking too much at the office Christmas party, but when it comes to covering up the death of a professional football star-turned-star Army volunteer-- Pat Tillman-- killed by friendly fire and then diss your boss in Rolling Stone Magazine, well dude, I mean come on! Just because you wear a fancy suit with stars and ribbons and have a your own Jeep and a lot of people working under you doesn't mean you get to be a complete asshole and not get your comupance.

But, now that you've found yourself out on the street with the million of other folks who are jobless, take your pension and free-lifetime health care and look for another job. Hell, your wife probably doesn't want to give up those PX shopping privaleges so you better get back to work.

Lucky for you I have sympathy for your digressions because I think you've probably learned from your mistakes. (You know like don't cover up deaths and don't call out the Prez in magazines for stoner's. Just reminding you.)

With that said and moving on, put on some real clothes, say Dockers and a golf shirt, have a beer, tell your posse to go home and check out these jobs fit for a general. At ease soldier!

General Mills- mycereal.com/corporate/careers/index.aspx

General Dynamics- http://www.generaldynamics.com/employment/employ_menu.htm

General Tool & Supply Co- http://www.allportlandjobs.com/JobSeekers/EmployersProfile.aspx?EmployerId=33381a16-e0b9-4e4c-8001-3e93a595e82d

General Store- http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobDetails.aspx?ipath=EXIND&siteid=cbindeed&Job_DID=J3I1DC6410QLPQMC2KJ&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=467c5a85d1294b62975df5675a544770-330699423-RG-4

LADUMA! Let's Find You a Job in Soccer!

2010-06-14T16:08:00.000-07:00

I love diski. When I'm not plugging the book or jolling I watch the World Cup as often as I can.

If you are such a mampara and don't know what the hell I'm talking about, then you should find a job anywhere BUT in futbol! Or Football. OR for (us) Americans SOCCER!

If you want a job as in now-now, or even just-now-in this sport, then you should at least understand the slang of the people who are hosting the 2010 World Cup. Come on, put down that smiley, I mean I know they're fooken nca, bro, but you need a job! (OK, that was FUN!)

But seriously- more than a billion people are expected to follow the month long tournament between the world's top 32 (or is it 36? What do I know-I'm just a journalist.) soccer playing nations. That means there are a lot of people not working and you could possibly steal their jobs. OR you could find a job where you could show people how to play the game. (That might be a tad more sportsman-like.)
You could coach, referee or play for a paycheck. You could design soccer computer games, clothing or board games. You could conjure up soccer dishes or write soccer inspired songs or books. If you love soccer there is NOTHING that can stop you from finding or creating a job that co-mingles your passion for the sport with a paycheck.
Hayibo... are you paying attention to me or watching the game? Hey! Stop blowing on that annoying vuvuzela and apply for a damn job in soccer. (Go look this stuff up. There's a thing called the Internet. Sigh.)

SOCCER JOBS! GOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://mls.teamworkonline.com/teamwork/jobs/default.cfm

https://jobs.eku.edu/applicants/jsp/shared/position/JobDetails.jsp?time=1276555592340

http://www.trinitydc.edu/offices/hr/Jobs/Assistant_Women%27s_Soccer_Coach.html

and because soccer is so lekker-

http://www.nscaa.com/joblistings.php

This is NOT Funny!

2010-06-12T08:48:00.000-07:00

Well, it's kind of funny, but I didn't write it. It's a great book review from the Huffington Post on June 11. So don't listen to ME when I tell you this book will help you in your job search. Listen to the Huff!

our rquest is being processed...

Giles Slade

Book Review: Thank You for Firing Me

You've lost your job. Now what? That's the question put forth in Candice Reed and Kitty Martini's Thank You For Firing Me!: How to Catch the Next Wave of Success After You Lose Your Job. Granted there are dozens and dozens of books offering advice for people who are out of work, or those looking to change careers, but none of these really tell you it's okay to be out of work for a while. It's okay to take the time to figure out what you really want to do with your life. It's okay to sell your possessions and travel the world to take some time off. Thank You For Firing Me explores this side of being unemployed.Sure the statistics now are daunting: the Dow is in turmoil, unemployment is eking toward 10 percent, nearly 300,000 people sought unemployment assistance in April, and quite simply, people are struggling to make ends meet. The situation becomes even more daunting when you are faced with being laid off, fired, or simply take the risk and quit to try to find something better. People self-identify with their jobs and people make perceptions about others based on what they do. Assumptions are made if you're a lawyer, a banker, a waitress, or a construction worker. Are these assumptions fair? Maybe not, but they exist nonetheless. When you lose a job, you also lose a little bit of your identity. You ask questions, similar to those of a break up, and certainly go through the same emotions: what did I do wrong? What am I supposed to do now? How dare they do this to me; I don't deserve it.The authors themselves come from this world. Following a series of careers ranging from waitress to mortician, Reed finally found what she wanted to do with her life after landing a writing gig with a community newspaper in San Diego. Unfortunately, she tapped into her passion just as this industry was struggling to find revenues in an era of digital media and advertising. After struggling to find writing jobs after the paper folded, she and her husband decided to chuck it all and leave their native California for greener pastures. Martini is an entrepreneur and comedian, two worlds that have never been easy for people to "make it." While their advice partly comes from a place of personal experience, they have also done their homework to identify ways to conduct research, new and emerging industries, and educational resources that provide retraining opportunities for those looking to lay a foundation for a new career path in an entirely new industry. This book isn't about starting over again in a job that you really don't want just because you need the paycheck, or about continuing in a career because you don't know what else to do. Thank You For Firing Me! is about the process of learning about yourself and translating that into the career of your dreams. What are you passionate about? What motivates you? What did you love best about your past jobs? What didn't you like? Being honest with yourself and tackling these tough questions is step one. For many, the most challenging part about finding a new job is where to start. Reed and Martini explore new and emerging industries and challenge readers to think outside the box: are you a casual surfer whose worked a desk job all his life? Open a surf shop. Are you a woman who got laid off from a mid-management job at a financial services job but has always loved working outdoors? Throw those suits away and get outside. Thank You For Firing Me! is really about that - it's about taking a devastating experience and turning into one of the best things that can happen to you.Taking an often lighthearted and comical approach - Thank You For Firing Me! is full of resources for people trying to get back on track, personal anecdotes from people who really turned their lives around after being fired, and is likely to become a great resource for those looking to find the job of their dreams.thankyouforfiringme.org http://jobs4yourfiredass.blogspot.com/

Your Job if You Decide to Accept It: Find Tipper a Date!

2010-06-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

Let's face it---Al is going to have a hot babe on his arm by Father's Day, while Tipper is going to be staying up nights in that big-ass energy- wasting- house of hers looking for a guy on Match.com and hanging out with her neighbor Oprah snacking down on Costco-size bags of Cheetos's and Chardonnay.

I mean COME ON- I like her, but guys will immediately see that she's over 60, a few pounds overweight and everyone in the Free World knows she doesn't like dirty lyrics in her music. (They will no doubt figure she doesn't want to hear any nasty talk in the bedroom.)
They'll keep clicking until they find a girl who is waaaay to young for them, waaay to dumb for them and pick her, because everyone knows who the real Tipper is!

I think it's going to be a big job finding a man to replace Al. Oh sure he's kind of wooden, and 'that kiss' was kind of like watching your parents make-out-yuck- but he's rich, still has his hair, he loves chick-issues such as the environment and he's a BAZILLIONAIRE! So slam-dunk.

So, what I'm saying here is that you can make this very sad divorce for the Gore family into a very positive turn-of-events for YOU!

It's going to take someone with dating savvy to find Tipper a date. Someone with sense of humor because she was the 2nd Lady and she's probably a bit of a diva, but YOU COULD DO IT! (You've probably visited a few ahem, 'dating sites' since you were fired from your job, so you're kind of an expert by now, right?

Get this: Online dating has become a $1 billion a year business with tens of millions of users visiting dating sites in the U.S. every month. And as dating sites have become more popular, several online services have popped up to help users improve their chances of meeting people online which means, hence and furthermore, that there are jobs to be had with online dating sites!

Of course if you want the job of actually dating Tipper Gore, there's a site for you too... but remember...no dirty words!

Jobs at Match.com

http://www.match.com/cp/careers/job.html?nl=1&jvi=oPOjVfwB,Job&jvk=Job

http://www.match.com/cp/careers/job.html?nl=1&jvi=oRwiVfwk,Job&jvk=Job

And jobs at It's Just Lunch!

http://www.itsjustlunchnewyorkcity.com/careers.aspx

Jobs at eHarmony

http://www.eharmony.com/about/careers

And for all you Tipper Horndogs -- Majestic Males for Hire
http://www.majesticmalesforhire.com/?gclid=CK3U-Y_EjqICFQtSgwodTSI9TQ

BP CEO Tony Hayward May Soon Need a New Job....

2010-05-30T16:38:00.000-07:00

I mean he's got to be the most hated guy on this side of the pond....the really black, oily, yucky and dying pond.

With everyone, and I mean everyone pissed at this guy for some reason or another, I think he should have a backup plan for employment- just in case his back-up, back-up plan for cleaning up the damn disaster doesn't work out.

Speaking at Stanford business school last year, Mr Hayward said, "“BP makes its money by someone, somewhere, every day putting on boots, overalls, a hard hat and glasses, and going out and turning valves,” he said. “And we’d sort of lost track of that.” So maybe he can start there. (As the spill worsened, Hayward also said "I don't believe it should [result in a ban], in the same way as Apollo 13 did not stop the space program nor have serious airline accidents from time to time stopped people flying." So the job as a grief counselor is probably out.)

I found a job for a Natural Gas Leak Survey Technician, because I think after this he might want to go out into the field and put on that hard-hat a goggles- so that no one will recognize him!

www. southerncrosscorp.com

But then I thought, perhaps after seeing all those fish and birds and effing dolphins wash up on shore , he might want to give back and get a job helping the very creatures that his company is trying to wipe out. Just a thought.

I figure a guy making can afford a couple of warehouses full of Dawn Dishsoap, which is used to clean the oil-covered animals, so here is a link for you Tony! http://www.deepwaterhorizonresponse.com/go/page/2931/46359/

But really, because this guy is really the biggest bloody wanker since the Earl of Bute (look it up) I think he should just be tarred and feathered- along with other ill-responsible BP mucketty mucks- and fired.

BTW Tony, you should probably purchase a copy of Thank You for Firing Me! How to Catch the Next Wave of Success After You Lose Your Job. Pay special attention to Chapter 8- "Big Waves Ahead: Hot Green Industries Coming Your Way!" http://www.amazon.com/Thank-You-Firing-Me-Success/dp/1402769563

Oh, and if you are looking for a gig with this nasty company, or you just really, really need a job, go ahead an apply. Just don't tell your friends where you work.
www.bp.com/

You Need to be a Teeny Bit Crazy to Get a Job!

2010-05-23T11:08:00.000-07:00

Times are tough in the job world and some people are going a little nuts when they can't find work.

I get it, it can make you a little loony when you have to pay bills with a negative bank account, have to pretend to be happy when you're out with your paycheck enhanced and employed friends and crazy when you find yourself taking gigs that you wouldn't even want your brother-in-law to have to do... right...crazy like a fox!

That's right, craaaaazy! Just yesterday I was speaking to a friend I hadn't heard from since he lost his job 10 years ago with one of the world's biggest golf club makers. He was the 'Golden Boy' on the fast track to success, but something wasnt quit right. Literally. He went crazy. Bonkers. Wacky!

He soon found himself heavily medicated and without a job. He was diagnosed with this and that, but I think he was unhappy in his job. Sure it paid well. Yes, he logged long hours, but he got to golf quite a bit and hang out with professional duffers (boooring!) but it wasn't his calling! He wasn't afraid of hard work- hell he was a store janitor when he was a teenager- but he wanted to be around horses. That was his calling!

A decade later he found his mind again (well, kind of.) and he is doing what he loves to do! He travels, he works with horses which he has done since he was a child and other like-minded horsey people and is writing a book. Not everyone can be out-of-their minds in this world of 15 million unemployed people, but if you're slightly sane, maybe you can take advantage of the other nut-jobs out there. It's worth a try.
Now go take your meds and apply for one of these gigs!

Mental Health Evaluator
http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobDetails.aspx?job_did=J8E5H56JQZV6PLM3CTQ&siteid=sep_juju_healthcare&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=085a5025818d49ed9877eda171d3042f-327938472-RC-4

Mental Health Staff

http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobDetails.aspx?job_did=J7X4HX6HMNFWF7QFZC3&siteid=sep_juju_nurse

Patton State Hospital- the Creme de la Creme!
http://www.dmh.ca.gov/services_and_programs/state_hospitals/patton/Human_Resources/default.asp

Golf Jobs...as if this game doesn't make you crazy!
https://callawaygolf.tms.hrdepartment.com/cgi-bin/a/searchjobs_quick.cgi

http://pgajobfinder.pgalinks.com/helpwanted/empcenter/search/job_detailed.cfm?jfid=43360

And here's a Mulligan for you!
http://pgajobfinder.pgalinks.com/helpwanted/empcenter/search/job_detailed.cfm?jfid=43363

PS- While you are contemplating life..or if you're in the loony bin, and you are looking for great book recommendation, check out Flashlight Worthy at http://www.flashlightworthybooks.com/
Everything looks better with a good book!

My Flight Attendent is so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

2010-04-11T15:55:00.000-07:00

I mean seriously!

I know that in this economy everyone wants to continue working, but if you can't make it down the aisle without limping or your wide-bodied rear-end knocks some guys drink off his tray, perhaps it's time to take your itty-bitty pension and retire to a nice little condo in Bocca. I mean, you'll still have those free flight comps, right?

But while flying recently my flight attendents did not look like they could open the damn bag of peaunuts, so it did nothing to make me think they could tackle a terrorist. Or hell, a belligerant grannny either! And the extra baggage one flight attendent was carrying made me wonder if her boss charged HER 25 extra bucks every time she brought that ass on board.

I'm not trying to be mean, but here's the deal.(I don't have to try) At some point Boomers, we've got to step aside and let X and Y have their turn. It's a matter of survival of the fittest. If you can't do your job, find one that you CAN do. It's not fair to the kids who need that piss-poor paying gig that you've held on to since your min-skirt became a potholder.

A recent report by the Bureau of Labor predicted that the

employment of cabin crew members is expected to grow about as fast as the average for all occupations through the year 2012. Population growth and an improving economy are expected to boost the number of airline passengers.

But old timers- ya gotta let it go!

So, below are a few high-flying gigs for those UNDER the age of my mom and with a little less junk in the trunk.

It's the only way to fly!

Jobs for sky-high jobs!

http://aviationemploymentboard.net/

http://www.southwest.com/careers/flight_attendant.html

Airline Inflight Resources, a professional recruiting company devoted exclusively to airlines. She can be reached by e-mail at jetfa@cfl.rr.com.

AND, jobs for your former hot-pants wearing stewdesses!

http://www.mahalo.com/how-to-become-a-walmart-greeter

http://www.knollcc.com/welcome.htm

Tattoo On...Tattoo Off...for money!

2010-04-02T13:14:00.000-07:00

Jobs for tattoo artists are becoming quite popular due to the umm, sexy ladies that have been appearing in People Magazine and E! Make no mistake about it, the tattoo industry is hot right now. There are an estimated 20,000+ parlors operating in the United States, according to a U.S. News & World Report article, which said, on the average, an establishment is being added in the country every day. The article ranked tattooing as the sixth fastest growing retail venture of the 1990s, right behind Internet, paging services, bagels, computer and cell phones.

I mean, who doesn't want to be covered from head to toe in ink with faeries and butterflies...and scary Nazi propaganda and monkey butts...well you get the drift. People have some crazy imaginations and tattoo artists are talented and creative and there is money out there for them to collect. Kids want them, teens want them, moms want them and home wreckers want them.....or do they?

Imagine you were a biker in the 70's and you thought it was cool to have a tattoo that reads. " Free Mustache Rides" on your forehead and now you are trying to get a job as a teacher at an all girls school? Yeah, not bloody likely, right? Or maybe you were an obscure tattoo model from San Diego who had an affair with some really nice woman's husband and now everyone in America thinks you're a skank and you can't even go to the 7/11 for ciggies because your tattoos give you away.

So that brings me to another job opportunity- and that would be- tattoo removal tech
Because how embarrassing it is for your kids when you show up at the PTA with "This Bitch Doesn't Fall Off!" tattooed on your arms. Yeah, not so pretty now, is it?

So, artists, put the paper away and get yourself hired at a tattoo parlor--and the rest of you, find a way to erase those mistakes for a paycheck!

Zee Plane, Zee Plane! (Yeah, this has nothing to do with jobs, but it's Tattoo from Fantasy Island and I can't get it out of my head. Now you have it in yours. My gift to you.)

Tattoo Jobs

http://www.jobnab.com?14781

http://tinyurl.com/yzmmurf

http://tinyurl.com/ykfjums

Tattoo Removal Jobs---

http://www.drtattoff.com/employment
http://tinyurl.com/yjd6tdm

Tattoo Removal Training---

http://www.no-tattoo.com/
http://nationallaserinstitute.com/medical-laser-technician.html

Ex-Mistress Needs Work- Will for Once Promise to Behave....

2010-03-26T20:48:00.000-07:00

With all these mistresses seemingly out of a job now, it looks as if I need to get involved. I mean there's Brigitte Daguerre, Melissa Smith, Michelle 'Bombshell' McGee, Devon James, Loredana Joli, Cori Rist, Rachel Uchitel...OK, all of this drama is wearing me out! But, I take my job as an anti-career expert seriously, so I want to find these young, umm, women a job befitting their stature.

What are their skills again? Hmm, let me check the web, be right back....OH, IS THAT WHAT THEY DO?
Umm, OK, I've got it! The perfect job!
Of course, as a mistress, they all want to be 'The One." But,as Star Magazine tells us, that's not always possible. So, I have found these pushy and tough young gals places to send their resumes---"That means a list of all your jobs Sweetie!"
They all thought they were ' Head Mistress,' so I have found jobs for them to apply as...HEAD MISTRESS! (How smart am I? I know!)
So ladies, here are a few, umm positions, that you might not be familiar with, but check it out, get a passport if applicable- there are a lot of people who would like you to leave the country, hint, hint- and reinvent yourself. You can do it and here's another big-ass hint: You don't need a man to get famous! DUH!

http://tinyurl.com/ygswhzb

http://tinyurl.com/ykmjllj

http://tinyurl.com/yhqllen

PS- Other than Pennsylvania, we have NO idea where these places are...but it's safe to say that TMZ won't be following you anymore....unless you screw up again. Sigh.

Join the Tea Party Movement and Earn an Honest Buck!

2010-03-25T21:37:00.000-07:00

Do you want to protest unemployment?
Do you want to boycott joblessness?
Do you want to demonstrate your rights to work?
Well then get a freakin tea job!

That's right, because what's more American than TEA? OK, well, Coke, and hot dogs and apple pie...and never mind! But TEA, it's such an important part of American history, right? There was that whole tea tossing episode into the Boston Harbor a thousand years ago or so...and now I hear there is this new wave of parties that celebrate tea. And teabags and other things I guess I don't understand, so I thought some of you would like to put down your signs and actually get a job. It seems that you people who like tea so much have a lot of time on your hands, so here are some diverse jobs in the tea biz that might interest you enough to stop being so mad all the time and change into some normal clothes. Sheeesh, take some deep breaths, put on a pot of tea, grab an application and stop all the yelling.
As for me, I don't care much for tea, give me some all-American coffee any day!

Party down with Tea Jobs!

Peets Coffee & Tea--- www.peets.com/

Teavana ---www.teavana.com/about-us/careers

Join the tea movement abroad. That's right, you can move out of the country and find a new job in India. And a new life- I might even help you pack your bags!!!
Look for tea jobs with Tata Tea Ltd. http://www.naukrihub.com/india/fmcg/companies/tata-tea/career/

And, because I know you love the country of Texas, I found a tea job there as well- with the Texas Education Agency- sounds very patriotic to me! http://ritter.tea.state.tx.us/hr/jvn/

Whining about job loss ladies?? Well SNAP OUT OF IT!

2010-03-22T15:58:00.000-07:00

Listen I know it's tough out there, but seriously, I am tired of having to hold your hand every step of the way. I need a little break. Maybe a vacation on an island with a pina colada whipped up by a hunky island guy who is slightly near-sighted so he can't see how old I am. Yes, that sounds wonderful! But, just so you don't fall apart while I jet away (in my mind) here's a gal who can whip you into shape career-wise. Take some deep breaths and meet my friend Angela of It's A Chick Thing Coaching-----
http://www.itsachickthingcoaching.com/index.html

Angela is a real, bona-fide career coach. (yes, I know, I'm an anti-career expert, but apparently not all of you are ready for that. Maybe after your midlfe cirises you will catch on.) ANYWAY, as I was saying, Angela's really got it going on and is funny and younger than me and she's damn smart- actually graduated from college and everything.!

Angela specializes in collaborating with young professional women just starting out or transitioning in their careers and who may be struggling to find their way through life...hey, that sounds like ME..20 years and a few Botox injections down the road!

So let's give all of our attention to Angela while I'm gone, and if you start whining again that you hate your job and refuse to do anything about it Angela has my permission to slap you into shape. Angela, good luck, because I am grabbing my bathing suit and headed out the door!
Don't forget- check out Angela NOW!
http://www.itsachickthingcoaching.com/index.html

Jobs for Soon-to-be-Fired Health Care Executives

2010-03-21T17:03:00.000-07:00

Now that the Health Care Bill has passed, we've been told that a ton of new jobs would be opening up out there for regular folks.

Data collected by Neeraj Sood, a professor at the University of Southern California who has looked at the impact of rising health care costs on employment, and David Cutler, a economist at Harvard University who has studied the impact of health care reform on care and insurance premiums estimate that health care reform could produce, on average, 250,000 to 400,000 jobs a year over the next decade. Not bad, not bad at all. But we got to thinking...what about those health insurance executives who make a gazillion dollars a year? What will happen to them when they can't charge people $4,900 for a Band-aid? What will happen to their fancy jets and something called a pension? (We've heard of these things but don't know anyone who actually has one. Kind of like Bigfoot.) So we got to feeling kind of sorry for these executives and we thought we would throw them a bone. Find them a job befitting their status and popularity with the American people. We wouldn't want to deny them anything like, umm, a job with health care now that they're just...like...us now would we?
We just hope your last job doesn't count as a pre-existing condition on your resume!

1.Odor Tester
This job is not for anyone with their nose out of joint, so get over it, the people have spoken!, A chemist is almost like a doctor so you can say 'yeah' or 'No" to the smells of deodorants and anti-perspirants. Wow, great job we stink!
2. Hair Boiler
Who knew this job even existed? This lucky soul gets to boil various kinds of animal hair until it curls for later use. We know that burning hair smells terrible; but try to imagine what an open-sore smells like with no health care. Nice huh?
http://www.jobtitles.org/hair-boiler-operator-description-4403.html
3. Waste Station/Water Treatment Worker
As a health care executive you're used to dealing with other peoples crap. You better hurry, a lot of you guys are qualified for this one!
4. Weed Farmer
Weed farmers actually grow weeds rather than trying to get rid of them. They sell them to horticulture schools and labs so various people can do research and studies in the wonderful world of weeds. Kind of like health care and science all rolled into one!
5. Carney
This one is a no-brainer--- carney. The pay is decent, the scenery changes, and you get take advantage of young people by taking their money and offering them stuffed animals instead. As we said, no-brainer!.

You're Fired! Now Let Me Help You Find A Job....

2010-03-12T12:38:00.000-08:00

It's what I live for.

SO..... for the past four days I have been in New York, pimping out the book and while I've been out and about, I've seen some pretty unhappy folks in their jobs. Seriously people, is the money THAT important? Yes, I understand that homelessness will not get you laid, but it must suck to be you in that crappy job.

Example: There were at least six unhappy Puerto Rican girls in the Bloomingdale's dressing room that ALL seemed to hate their jobs..and I get it. It must not be fun to put up with snooty Manhattan socialites and Debs trying on slinky party dresses for events that said Puerto Rican girls are not invited to. That said, I would like to advise these young women that there are better jobs out there where they will wake up in the morning and put that sassy attitude to work.
Let me cho you.

Cop---http://westendjobs.ca/jobs.php?ad=ff8112af28683f27b42ac6bcb24017d4

Body Guard--- http://bodyguardvacancies.reallyfabjobs.com/

Boxer---- http://www.womenboxing.com/women5.htm

But, getting back to Bloomingdale's- because I did a few times- there was a salesman named Abi, from Morocco, who seemed to LOVE his job. And, quell surprise, he works on commission only. (Shame on Bloomingdale's.) He had a great attitude and was friendly and patient to my friends and I. He made our shopping day(s) a wonderful experience and he actually told me that he loved his job- on COMMISSION ONLY! wow, I am unworthy Abi.

Even though he didn't ask, just for fun, I found a few jobs for positive guys who love selling woman's' shoes- oh yes, Abi is in the shoe department, so I don't feel too sorry for him! Seriously, I don't blame him for being happy- I would work there for free too!

Abi is one of the happiest working guys in New York City- so if you are at Bloomies, make sure to ask for him- he will make your day!

DSW Shoes---http://tinyurl.com/ygxjvmz

Mystery Shoe Job ---- http://tinyurl.com/yjbrln5

Oh, and just in case you want to work for free at Bloomingdales- here you go!

http://www.bloomingdalesjobs.com/bloomingdales/career/searchjobs.asp#top

What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

2010-02-27T12:20:00.000-08:00

I wanted to be an actress, but mom and dad wouldn't send me to drama school. My back-up plan was to be a dancer but I had two left feet. But I really wanted to be a writer but no one told me I could be one. So for 20 years I had odd jobs such as singing waitress and funeral director until I woke up and said, "Hey I just remembered, I want to be a writer!" So I started writing. I bought books and read up on how to get published (this is before the magic machine called the Internet was invented.) and then I was soon published. Again, and again and well, thousands of times!
I finally got to be what I wanted to be.

So what are your dreams?

Did you want to be a cowboy? Because you still can be one! Here check it out dude! Toss the suit and put oh some of those hot leather chaps.... http://www.duderanchjobs.com/job

How about circus performer. Seriously, I know you used to dream of running away with the circus and of flying through the air, but before you take that leap, here are some places to learn how to update your circus skills:
http://www.ehow.com/how-to_4845448_3_join-a-circus.html

Let's see, I know kids want to be teachers and firefighters and doctors and, umm lawyers (I almost couldn't write that one, but I'm trying to be unbiased.) so here are a couple of gigs for all you jobless dreamers. Get back to being a kid again and you might just find yourself happily employed.
http://www.teachers-teachers.com/teaching-jobs.cfm
http://www.firefighter-jobs.com/
http://www.physemp.com/
http://www.alternativelawyerjobs.com/

AND CHECK OUT HOW MY DREAM CAME TRUE!

Who's The Boss?

2010-02-15T10:09:00.000-08:00

YOU ARE!

Or ahem...you were. But now, you're only the boss of you. LOL! And maybe the cat. You sit around the house now in your tie and jacket and your boxers hoping that your ex-assistant will call with a list of job offers. You wait for the phone to ring with your old USC buddy on the other line with a sweet CEO gig at the biggest bank /mortgage/insurance company IN THE WORLD and you wait. And you wait.
But here's a clue, oh deposed one...GET UP OFF YOUR ASS AND FIND YOUR OWN JOB~! Sheesh. You're not the king/boss anymore so until you get back into a corner office with a view of your fiefdom and peasants and that hot office assistant in a short skirt/tight Hugo Boss slacks...you're just like the rest of us. Unemployed. Jobless. Pathetic.
Not so great when it HAPPENED TO YOU NOW IS IT!!! Sorry, not very professional of us, but it's a little tough not to gloat after you were in charge of firing hundreds of workers, oh and quite possible US!. But, cause this is President's Day, just this once we'll throw you a bone. We are an equal opportunity, umm, whatever we are. So we have some jobs listed here that you just might be qualified for. So pad that resume a little more, comb your hair grab your briefcase and get your ass moving! Hey, WAIT, get back in there and put on your pants....just like the rest of us!

http://www.associationjobs.com/
http://www.salary.com/careers/layouthtmls/crel_searchjob_EX05000001.html
http://www.hound.com/
http://www.jobsearchpage.com/info.php?jobid=2567426

We LOVE Home-Based Businesses and HATE to Go to Work!

2010-02-10T11:44:00.000-08:00

It's almost Valentine's Day and we LOVE to look pretty, eat chocolate, drink wine and have lot's of sex, so the idea came to us- why not SELL those things?

Don't you LOVE it?

We knew you would, so here are a few ideas to think about when trying to decide what type of home-based business you would LOVE to make your own business:

* Think about the things in life that you LOVE to do. Do you LOVE Shopping? Do you LOVE to drink? How about fooling around?
* When you get a little time to yourself, how do you choose to spend that time? What are you doing – other than watching TV or sleeping? (Maybe you should keep the answer to yourself, you know, TMI!)

Your answers to these questions give you a sense of what you LOVE to do! Your next task will be brainstorming ways in which you can turn one or more of those passions into a home based business or work at home job.

But before you scroll to our job ideas, make sure you do your homework and look out for what little money you have: check and double check the initial fee. If you’re buying into a home party business, ask what’s included in the startup kit. Look for plenty of samples, training materials and other tools that will help you host a successful party.

Ask whether there’s a buyback policy. Companies that are members of the DSA* must agree to buy back inventory from consultants within 12 months of the date of purchase at a minimum of 90 percent of the original net cost.

Make sure there’s a real product being sold. If you suspect it’s a pyramid scheme--where your time and money are devoted to recruiting and earning money off a downline, and there’s no product being sold or the product is worthless--keep looking.

Don’t feel pressured.Take time to think it over and decide it's something you are going to LOVE to do.

So we've listed a few home-based businesses that we thought you would LOVE and if you're successful, please mail us a few free samples. We Love FREE STUFF.

Ding, Dong, Mark Calling!
http://www.meetmark.com/PRSuite/sell/sellmark.jsp

Not Like Your Kids Sleepovers!
http://www.slumberpartiesbydana.com/

Get Em' Drunk and Make Your Mortgage Payment
http://www.wineshopathome.com/

Oh God, What Could Be Better Than Dove Chocolate?
http://www.geteventjobs.com/dove-chocolate-discoveries-chocolatier

*Direct Selling Association's (DSA) NOT to be confused with the Democratic Socialists of America....well, maybe they ARE the same thing. Whatever.

Dear Academy Awards- Screw the Oscar, We Want a Job!

2010-02-02T08:48:00.000-08:00

So the Academy Awards for 2010 were just announced and honestly? We don't care.
And why should we? These folks who are up for awards get to take a lot of time off to bask topless in the sun while dodging the press and then they have the NERVE to be picky about which job offer they are going to take. Besides that, they earn like a million, gazzillion dollars to play dress-up! And don't get us started on the Academy Awards Show! Seriously, we only like to watch when the hosts are on stage because we once saw Mel Griffin with our Nanny, so we have a thing for talk-show wonks. (Usually daytime or late-night hosts who are actually funny but get panned the next day by very unfunny critics....who we would like to fire!)

We suppose that if we were ever nominated for an award we wouldn't think it was so boring/narcissistic/painful to watch, but that's never going to happen, now is it? (still bitter over parents not sending us to drama school....could you tell?)

But, if you want to be a part of this circus, well we won't hold you back (ahem!) We want to support you in any crazy dream job you have! Because we love you. Oh yes we do!
So, here a a few jobs that have a connection to the Academy Awards and all things Hollywood. Good luck and do NOT forget to thank us in your acceptance speech!

http://www.oscars.org/about/employment/public-liaison.html
Department Assistant/Public Liaison

http://www.audiencesunlimited.com/

http://www.creativejobscentral.com/jobfeed/view_job.php?id=125386

Bridezilla Handlers Needed

2010-01-26T09:35:00.000-08:00

There may be a recession on people, but little girls still dream of getting married in a fancy white dress with lots of tulle and fairy lights and open bar and little appetizers. They dream of making their very best friends buy expensive ugly dresses that 'they can cut off and wear again' and they long to make their boyfriends sweat by renting a tux and trying to stay sober enough not to dance with the hookers at the bachelor party. They also dream of making their parents pay through the nose to rent the VFW Hall and buy rubber chicken for 200 of their closest friends. (DEEP BREATH.)

So if you have a degree in psychology and you've had a recent tetanus shot and you really don't want to go into the military, check out these jobs in the wedding industry. And because I am in the airport writing this after buying my daughter's wedding dress I don't think much is funny, I'll leave you with this joke:

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
--Robin Williams

Jobs in the Wedding Industry:

http://about.indeed.com/jobs?q=wedding+coordinator&sort=
https://www.hrapply.com/mgmmirage/AppJobView.jsp?link=127194&electronic_referral=indeed

Sorry Gen Y- Those Damn Boomers Won't Retire...

2010-01-19T08:41:00.000-08:00

Or will they?

We know you're hurting kids. You're mom and dad promised you the world when you got bigger. They told you that you could be anything you wanted when you grew up. (They lied) Besides that, they told you if a boss was mean you should quit. They told you that no matter what you did you were a winner. (You're so not!) And to make matters worse, those damn boomers won't retire an so you can take their jobs, streamline the company and work from (your parents) home.

We hear you and we are kind of on your side. We are really tired of old dudes making our coffee and cranky-ass menopausal broads checking us out at Albertson's. Seriously- they scare us and they give us the evil eye if we buy more than one bottle of wine!
So here's your chance to find a job to get them out of the workforce and send them off to the Grateful Dead Home for old Rockers.

If you can't find a job in the top industries to steal money from these old farts who still think it's okay to wear tie-dye and not color their hair,you need to create one. These people still have money and they want to travel and if they do go into the home they want it to rock!
So if you really need a job, get out there and not only help grandma across the street, help her over the damn cliff!

Top Industries and a couple of jobs for Gen Y to take money from Boomers:

Healthcare-http://www.franchisegator.com/CareMinders-Home-Care-franchise/
http://www.medhunting.com/

Retirement Homes- www.seniorhousingjobs.com/ and http://www.atriaseniorliving.com/careers_at_atria.aspx

Travel- http://www.quintcareers.com/hospitality_jobs.html and http://www.vantagetravel.com/StaticPages/aboutus/careers.aspx

Quit Yer Bitchen and Invent Yourself a Job!

2010-01-18T19:31:00.000-08:00

Posted by Candice and Kitty on the January 14th, 2010

We know it's tough out there people, you can't find a job that pays even
60K and you would feel like such a loser if you took that, but here, let
us help you out.

Raise your right hand cheek level - NOW SLAP YOURSELF!
In the wise words of Miss Cher, 'GET OVER IT!

We mean, here's a little reality check. Are you living in your folks nice
basement for free? Driving a 10-year-old car? Living in a tiny apartment in very cha-cha Manhattan?

Well try living in HAITI!

Seriously!

So, now that we've channeled your mom, let's see if we can take you down a
new career path. Let's see....what can you do? We've got it!

You can INVENT/CREATE SOMETHING!

Wait, did you just roll your eyes at us? Because we're not doing this for
our health you know. We do have better things to do than find you a job.
We could umm, we could be.. well, that's none of your business, this is
about YOU not us!

Check it out: Thomas Edison didn't pop out of his mom's womb and run off
to invent the light bulb. Nope, he freaking sold candy and newspapers on
trains and later sold vegetables to keep from finding a real job while
he tried to invent things like the phonograph player (that's big iPod
for those of you who slept through History 101) and the motion picture
camera (camcorder Einstein) and of course, the light bulb.

Now, you don't have to invent something as super- cool as the Screaming
Super Simian Monkey Slingshot- http://tinyurl.com/29agr8- or the very
chic metal detecting sandals http://tinyurl.com/nlujd3, because people,
that's pure genius. But there are other ways to invent yourself a job.

Can you sew? Knit, bead or are you just plain crafty? Well get busy and
sell your crap, we mean crafts, that's what we meant, really- on Etsy. http://www.etsy.com/.
This is the coolest place to sell all your handmade stuff that you've
been giving as gifts at Christmas because you don't have any money to
buy us a real present. So, if you sell 20 of those itchy fuchsia
scarves you gave us for our birthday last year, you could have bought
us, oh I don't know? a pair of those awesome metal detecting sandals!

Just a tip.

If you want to set up your own virtual store to sell you stuff or even
your music, go to http://bigcartel.com/ and then send out a big
announcement to all your friends and family and you're in business.

So that's it for today kids. The reality of the job market out there is,
well, shitty, but if people listen to the authors of Thank You for
Firing Me!thankyouforfiringme.org someday everyone can stop riding the
subway to a job they hate and instead stay at home in their PJ's and
make a living. (well, except for scientists, you need to go to the lab.
OK and maybe construction workers, you have to go to a job. Oh and
airline people, you need to...Never mind, stop annoying us and get to
work!)
Oh, and here's a shout-out to the sellers of that cool light bulb hat at
foureyesjokeshop.com. Kudos to doing what you love to do!

Inglorious Banking Bastards

2010-01-18T19:20:00.000-08:00

Posted by Candice and Kitty on the January 11th, 2010

The holiday season may be over, but don't be surprised if your local
bank head- honcho has a new Hummer in the driveway of his McMansion. Oh
yes, it's that time again boys and girls- BANK BONUS SEASON!
Last year the Bank CEO's at least pretended to look sheepish, but
according to the NYT it looks as if it will be one of the largest and
most controversial blowouts the industry has ever seen, check out this
nugget!

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/10/business/10pay.html?dbk
So we say BOO on Bankers! Bankers Beware! Bad, Bad, Bankers, Blow?.
never mind. (We know, we're not very good at this stuff, but we don't
get a bonus!)

So, as we have said before, when you graduate from banking school, or
counting class, or whatever one must do to be in the money biz, GET A
JOB AT A CREDIT UNION!
Seriously. You might not make a zillion dollars, and you'll have to
share your bonus with your members (that's customers in CU-speak) but
hey, people won't spit at you when they hear you have a job as a
kind-of-sort-of-banker-person. (Apologies to Mark B. I still love you
even if you are a banker and if you get a big bonus it's OK, because
you are now (besides me) the best-dressed Dallas Street kid ever, and
every girl from high school still thinks she has a shot with you.)
But back to banking. No, not back to banking. Screw em! We were actually
first in this whole move your employment/money/trust to Credit Unions,
but we'll give the Huffington folks kuddos for making this video. http://moveyourmoney.info/
So, now that we've stepped off our soap box, here's a few jobs for you
money counters who need jobs. Oh, and because you're new, you're not
supposed to charge us the regular-people price of $25 when we bounce a
check!
CREDIT UNION GIGS!
http://www.cuhire.com/
http://www.usecu.org/home/abo/car
http://www.navyfederal.org/about/careers.html
And a great resource to find the perfect Credit Union job!
www.cutimes.com/

Now Wanted: A Few Good Men

2010-01-18T19:13:00.000-08:00

Posted by Candice and Kitty on the January 7th, 2010

We believe EVERYONE should be employed based on their talents and passion for the job. So, why should beautiful, sexy men not be able to make a living by putting their God-given talents to work? We say, give the beautiful men jobs too!

And so it shall be!

The Shady Lady Ranch in Tonopah, Nevada got the green light( should it not be red?) on Tuesday, Jan 5, to hire male prostitutes, or as madam Bobbi Davis calls them, 'service-oriented' guys willing to become Nevada's first legal male sex workers.?

In 2005, Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss announced that she was moving to Pahrump, in southern Nye County, in hopes of creating a 'stud farm.' She opened a Laundromat instead.

SO, HOT DAMN!

Just think, not only will you be providing a service that WE think is waaaay overdue, but you'll be providing a semi-legal service to all those female truck drivers out there who need a little love on the road. And, hey, if an occasional guy trucker happens to come into your room,
well, we are so not judging!

Ms. Davis has had about 100 applicants sent to her, so stop messing around on Craiglslist, pack your sunblock and high-tail it out to Tonopah! Oh, and if in a couple of months while we are out promoting our book (Thank You for Firing Me!) and our RV happens to stray off I-15,
give us a discount will ya stud?

For more information on hooking a job out at the Shady Lady: http://www.shadyladyranch.com/main.html
http://www.latimes.com/news/nation-and-world/la-na-male-prostitutes6-2010jan06,0,7495471.story?track=rss
http://www.tonopahnevada.com/

Top Jobs of 2010?What Actually is an Actuary?

2010-01-18T18:58:00.000-08:00

January 6th, 2010

We thought it had something to do with birds.
Nope.
According to a site called Careercast.com and the wallstreetjournal.com,being an actuary is about calculating statistics to determine probability and risk. YAWN! Oh sure, you make like 85K, which is what we sold our house in California for last year, but how exciting can that job be? Oh, and, according to the report, working on an oil rig as a roustabout is the worst, according to a study released on Tuesday. Yeah, all that physical exercise and sunshine can make life
really shitty.

We think these guys have it all wrong! So let's turn this thing upside
down, shall we?

The survey says! The worst jobs of 2010 are:
1. Roustabout
2. Lumberjack
3. Ironworker
4. Dairy farmer
5 Welder
6. Garbage collector
7. Taxi driver
8. Construction worker/laborer
9. Meter reader
10. Mail carrier
11. Butcher
12. Photojournalist
13. Firefighter
14. Sheet metal worker
15. Emergency medical technician
16. Stevedore
17. Reporter (newspaper) ? that hurts!
18. Sailor
19. Machinist
20. Choreographer

Wow- we see some elitism here. Damn, what's wrong with dairy farmer? OK, we get Stevedore, who wants to be gored by a bull? (not a bullfighter? Who cares, it's funny!) But sailor? What type
of sailor? The kind that cruises to Tahiti and back? The kind that drinks mai tais and has a chick in every port? Yeah, that sounds terrible! Wow, if you could actually aquire one of these jobs we think you would be happier than a pig in shit. Just saying.
But, if you were hired for one of these gigs:
1. Actuary
2. Software engineer
3. Computer systems analyst
4. Biologist
5. Historian
6. Mathematician
7. Paralegal assistant
8. Statistician
9. Accountant
10. Dental hygienist
11. Philosopher
12. Meteorologist
13. Technical writer
14. Bank officer
15. Web developer
16. Industrial engineer
17. Financial planner
18. Aerospace engineer
19. Pharmacist
20. Medical records technician

Whoa! Spasmatic! Lucky YOU!

Seriously? Dental hygienist? Accountant? Booooring! But hey, whatever. We want you all to find jobs, whether you are as dull as dirt or want to live on the edge. So here are a couple of jobs for all our fans. Boring or not. You're welcome!

Mudlogger- http://www.worldwideworker.com/job-details?job=105426
Dairy Farmer-http://www.agri-man.com/
Historian- http://tinyurl.com/ydqe44g
Bank Officer (seriously? We're sending you out of the country for this
one. It's safer.) http://jobs.efinancialcareers.com/job-4000000000587873.htm

Jobs of the Future or Futuristic Jobs?

2010-01-15T09:43:00.000-08:00

Where is our flying car, that's what we would like to know!
There were promises made back in the early 1960's and as of yet, we haven't seen any flying by our house. (Well, one DID fly into our house recently, but that's a different story.)

Anyhoo, while we wait for these guys to invent one with that comes equipped with a cute pilot- http://www.terrafugia.com/ we'll look at other gigs that look to the future for employment.

First off, we're not the biggest Sci-Fi fans- we're still afraid to
watch the Twilight Zone in the dark- but the jobs are starting to look
like George Jetson invented them. (You don't know George Jetson? Fine!)
We mean, Turanga Leela. (Comprede voo now?) Jobs for Robot builders and
Space Tour Guides are starting to turn up all over the galaxy. Spaceadventures.com is gearing up to blast into space, and they will need some hardy folks who don't get airsick to help them point out stars and stuff. So keep your helmet close, Professor Quatermass, (What?
Don't get that reference either smarty-pants Gen Yer? Boy, would we kick
your butt in Trivial Pursuit!) OK, we mean keep your helmet close by... Nara. (Happy?) Either way, this job is for those with a bachelor's degree in aerospace engineering, or a relevant field, a love for adventure and a strong belief in human exploration.

For a salary range of $80,000 to $90,000, I believe, I believe!

Another futuristic job is robot builder. No not like building one out of
Lego's, but a real robot inventor. ARPA Grand Challenge robot cars and
student competitions like Botball and FIRST. Robots already work in some
research laboratories and factories. What will be the killer application
that brings them into every home. Salary is 80-90K and that will buy a
lot of WD-40 for Rosie the Robot. (Oh forget it! Just get a job!)

For more futuristic jobs and training, check out these sites: http://www.sme.org/ri
and http://www.robotics.org
And here's one more so you'll find a job and stop bothering us. http://nasajobs.nasa.gov/
See you later Space Cowboy!

Instant Cash- Nothing to Sneeze at... or is it?

2010-01-15T09:09:00.000-08:00

So seriously- how are you feeling these days? Down-in-the-dumps because you can't find a job? A little dizzy because you're hungry? Got the sniffles because the gas company turned your heat off? Are your feet hurting because you're pounding the pavement everyday looking for employment?

GOOD!

That's right, we said Good! All these ailments can bring in the dough if you become a paid
volunteer in a clinical trial.

No joke! If you have bunions, an Orange County CA team will pay you up to 400 bucks for a chance to umm, well, we don't know but it's $400... and they're bunions!

Another clinical trial company will pay you cash to let them yank out your wisdom teeth, something you don't need anyway.

You don't actually have to have diabetes/asthma/hot flashes/penile erectile dysfunction or bad breath-but it would help.

There are studies all over the country listed here for the healthy and infirm. We have a friend who made $30,000 last year sleeping, drinking booze, being poked, probed and zapped. But he loved the jobs and he's probably writing a damn book which will be made into a feature film
staring Meryl Streep while we plod along dishing out advice. Sigh. ..will' ..not..be..bitter.
Anyway- here's a chance to make some money and possibly get healthy. If you can't quite bring yourself to be a guinea pig, go and sign out Grandpa from the 'home' and take him to the Alzheimer's clinical trial in Los Angeles. He'll get $2500 which he has no need for and won't
remember he got it AND you'll get an extra $50 just for sitting in the waiting room. Come on, he won't tell and he'll be happy if you buy him an ice cream on the way home.

Good luck- just don't let them actually turn you into a guinea pig; they
won't be paying you that much!

Craigslist and alternative newspapers are a great resource for clinical
trial volunteering. Her are a few from us to you!
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/etc/1515727716.html Bunion Trial
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/etc/1532265812.html Alzhiemers
http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/etc/1519672485.html Dallas
And the big one- http://clinicaltrials.gov/

PS- Don't use a service that charges YOU money..SCAMMERS!

Turn on the Weather Guy. Otherwise Rain Storm May Result in Your Untimely Death!

2010-01-15T08:44:00.000-08:00

It's a few days after the Christmas holiday and it's snowing while one of us writes this. It was supposed to be sunny for at least one more week. Down South, where the other one of us lives it was supposed to rain but it's 65 and sunny!

WTF?

We'll tell you WTF- we all turn to the weather person to tell us what to wear and how to plan our lives and for the most part, they get it wrong. Seriously, the weather guy up HERE looks outside and calls it-how tough is that? (http://www.kozi.com/)
And the weather guy down South- John Coleman the weatherman at KUSI in San Diego, California, is quoted on his site saying "Being a TV weatherman in San Diego is an outrageous scam." Uh-huh.

As Nicholas Cage said in the movie, 'Weatherman', "My job's very easy, two hours a day, basically reading prompts. I receive a large reward for pretty much zero effort and contribution."

So there ya go! Great job, right?

But wait, it gets mo betta!

If you are hired as a weather person you can change your name to something like this:
Flip Spiceland, NBC WXIA, Atlanta, Ga.
Storm Field, WWOR (UPN), Secaucus, N.J.
Topper Shutt, WUSA (CBS), Washington, D.C.
Johnny Mountain, KCBS, Los Angeles
Sam Champion, WABC, New York, N.Y.
Joe Bastardi, AccuWeather
Dallas Raines, KABC, Los Angeles
Ray Ban, The Weather Channel
Rick Dickert, KTTV (FOX), Los Angeles

We figure that the basic job description of a weather reporter is to go on TV and guess what mother nature is about to do. How hard can that be?

Recently we heard a weather dude brag, "This is 67 percent accurate, plus or minus 10 degrees." So he is telling us the temperature in a range of 11 degrees only two thirds of the time. So accuracy doesn't count! Apparently this is the only job in the world where you can be
wrong on a daily basis and still have a job. As long as you have a flashy smile and come across as charming/crazy/sexy to the viewing audience you can keep predicting crap.

Where do we sign up?

So here's what we did. We braved the cold front and found some great weather jobs for you.
Don't thank us, just try and get the friggen weather right for a change.
I am so tired of wearing my hot pants out to the Ladies NRA luncheon
when it's 25 and snowing because I am just too damn dumb to look
outside and think for myself.
Jobs:
weatherchannel.com
accuweather.com
And this is our favorite because this is where all weather folks should end up!
Raytheon Polar Services-Experience Antarctica- www8.jobirn.com

Escorts Wanted!

2009-12-16T12:18:00.000-08:00

We like to be topical in our search for jobs for you, so with all the talk about escorts in the news, we thought that this was a job that provided a service for those in need, and it seems like such a great service!

Escorts work with those who can't get it anywhere else. They become close to their clients, so close that clients might even give them small gifts. Many escorts can be asked to travel and you may be asked to work on call or late at night, and we feel it's a terrific and rewarding career.

What? Wait! No, not that type of escort. (Not that we judge!) We're anti- career experts, not pimps!

In case you didn't know about the other kind of escort here's the 411: There is a need for caring individuals to escort people to and from hospitals, nursing homes and even fancy universities and we've found some, er, positions open. Some hot jobs. Employment where you can really get up close and personal with your clients....

Okay, we'll stop. Good luck with the Escort job, although you might want to call it something else when you tell your parents you're finally employed. (If Tiger calls you hang up on him- he's married!)

*************************************************************************************

Johns Hopkins University

Job Title:	Security Escort
Job Number:	1030724
Date Posted:	12/15/2009
Application Deadline:	Open until filled

Job Description

General Description:
The Paul H. Nitze School of Advanced International Studies of the Johns Hopkins University is seeking an individual to operate a high-volume Security Escort van that provides daily service from 6:15 p.m to 12:15 a.m. (hours are reduced during the January intersession and summer months). This free service picks up and drops off students, faculty, and staff from SAIS within a one or two mile radius of the school. Security Escort needed to operate Escort Van, navigate designated routes, maintain ride schedule and ensure safety of passengers. Duties include: ? Operate a 14 passenger Security Escort Van. Maintain working knowledge of area around SAIS and have the ability to read street maps. Must be able to operate vehicle and navigate in all types of weather (rain, snow, storms, etc.). ? Maintain communication with Security Officer at the SAIS Front Desk. Reports to Security Officer after returning to SAIS of any problems/issues with passengers (disruptive behavior, drunkenness, illness, etc.) or any security concerns identified on route (suspicious activity, accidents, fights, etc.). ? Verify all riders have a valid Johns Hopkins ID upon entering the vehicle. Positively interact with all passengers and maintain decorum in the Security Escort Van. JHU offers a wide range of benefits to full-time employees including medical, dental, paid vacation and sick leave, pension, supplemental retirement, educational assistance for staff and eligible dependents. For more information, visit JHU benefits at http://www.benefits.jhu.edu/index.cfm. Qualifications:
Qualifications: High School Diploma/GED and valid driver?s license required. Three to five years driving experience with and good driving record required. Position requires dependability and commitment to work schedule. Must be able to sit for extended periods of time.

Job Type: Full Time

Contact:	Johns Hopkins University Baltimore, MD United States
Online Application:	Apply for this position from Employer's website

When applying for this position, please mention you saw this ad on UniversityJobs.com.

Please also post your resume/CV in our resume database which is searched and viewed by many employers and recruiters. This is a free service to all job seekers.

************************************************************************************
Job Snapshot

Location:

2901 216Th St
Bayside, NY 11360 (Map it! )

Loading Map...

Employee Type:

Full-Time

Industry:

Healthcare - Health Services

Manages Others:

Job Type:

Health Care

Education:

High School

Experience:

At least 1 year(s)

Travel:

Road Warrior

Post Date:

12/14/2009

Contact Information

Contact:

Doreen Sikoscow

Ref ID:

Driver/Escort

Fax:

718-281-8557 instantly fax your resume >>

Description

St. Mary’s Healthcare System for Children is one of the nation’s premier providers of intensive rehabilitation and specialized care for children with special needs and life-limiting conditions. The largest pediatric post-acute care provider of its kind in the region, St. Mary's treats 4,000 children each day through our hospital, Home Care and Community Programs in the five boroughs of New York City, Nassau, Suffolk, Westchester and beyond. Following hospitalizations for complications from premature birth, illness and injury, or when special services are needed, children and their families come to St. Mary's to receive exceptional care, learn to manage their condition, and achieve a better quality of life.

Full Time Van Driver/Escort

St. Mary's is currently seeking a Full Time Van Driver to accompany Home Care Staff to ensure delivery of home services to patients who reside in difficult to serve areas. This person will be responsible for the delivery of mail, supplies, patient items, etc to satellite offices. In addition, they will assist in clerical duties to include but not be limited to copying, faxing, sorting and filing patient records.

Please ask about our excellent benefit package and potential for overtime.

Requirements

Valid NYS Drivers License
Clean driving record

Knowledge of travel within the 5 boroughs a must
Able to work as a member of a team.

**************************************************************************************

Job Title:	PATIENT ESCORT
Company Name:	Betsy Johnson Regional Hospital
Employment Type:	PRN
Location:	DUNN, NC, United States
Department:	Clinical Central Staffing
Salary:	Highly Competitive
Shift/Hours:	As needed
Shift Details:	This position will support the full time positions covering callouts and vacations to include additional weekend coverage
Hours/Pay Period:	24
Degree Required:	High School/GED
Job ID:	15031.2009.01140
Date Posted:	Dec 15, 2009
Years Experience:	1
Job Category:	Clinical Support
Location:	Betsy Johnson Regional Hospital
Note: Please read the complete description below before applying for this job.

Complete Description

Services the entire hospital, providing safe, efficient and effective transportation of patients, medical equipment and/or supplies. Ensures patient is properly identified before transporting. Transports patients to and from clinical, ancillary and support areas via wheelchair, stretcher as requested to include transport of patients with oxygen tanks, intravenous pumps, drips and special equipment. Confirms method of transport and special needs. Ensures that all transports are carried out timely. Assist clinical personnel in transferring patients to and from beds, wheelchairs or stretcher as requested. Assist patients in and out of vehicles and escort or transport them to and from hospital lobby: carry luggage, open necessary doors. Assist in the loading and unloading of patients onto ambulances and vans. Collect specimens, orders, requisitions and equipment and deliver items to appropriate destinations. Assist in maintaining order and cleanliness in hospital lobby and entrance and may assist in room turnover. Assist nursing staff with removal of expired bodies from units. Ensures all transport equipment is clean and working properly. Participates in the training of new employees. Attend educational programs as directed.

Additional Information

Weekend and/or Holiday Rotation may be required.
Rotating Shifts may be required.

************************************************************************************

And from Monster.com

Job Title:	PATIENT ESCORT
Company Name:	Betsy Johnson Regional Hospital
Employment Type:	PRN
Location:	DUNN, NC, United States
Department:	Clinical Central Staffing
Salary:	Highly Competitive
Shift/Hours:	As needed
Shift Details:	This position will support the full time positions covering callouts and vacations to include additional weekend coverage
Hours/Pay Period:	24
Degree Required:	High School/GED
Job ID:	15031.2009.01140
Date Posted:	Dec 15, 2009
Years Experience:	1
Job Category:	Clinical Support
Location:	Betsy Johnson Regional Hospital
Note: Please read the complete description below before applying for this job.

Complete Description

Additional Information

Weekend and/or Holiday Rotation may be required.
Rotating Shifts may be required.

************************************************************************************
And if you're still pouting over the job description, fine.

NIKKI'S ESCORTS Now Hiring - Dependable Escorts, all shifts. Earn cash daily 321-254-5623 We have NO IDEA what type of escorts Nikki is hiring, we can only guess, And we're not judging.

Funny Jobs 4 You!

2009-12-13T19:38:00.000-08:00

We were going to go all, " White Collar" on you and advertise a bunch of Wall St jobs, but upon hearing that those money guys might just get ANOTHER bonus (FYI: people who have not received Christmas bonuses- The President, Kermit the Frog, Yours Truly.) we thought twice.

So, we thought that because they were getting said bonuses, it was almost funny. Or sad. OK Funny/Sad- which reminded us that comedians need jobs too.

We all need funny people and they need jobs! Unemployment is so, NOT funny!

We need humor and not everyone has the talent to make us laugh. And laughing, especially in these times, is important. Because really, when was the last time you walked out of movie because it was too damn funny?

Comedy needs to be take much more seriously. It has been reported that laughing may actually cure serious illnesses so these people, in our opinion, by all rights, should be paid as much as doctors! Are we right here?

So here's a joke and then we have jobs for the funny people. People who don't laugh at those who slip and fall, a pie in the face or former politicians who write books, need not apply. Those people should go back to working on Wall St-enjoy your bonus.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Address: 1503 Chartres St., Houston, TX 77003 (map)
Date Posted: 12/12/09
Job Type: Freelance;

Description

Are you a creative musician, singer, poet, comedian? Start to an investment, showcase and perform your talent in local Houston venues. We are in need of artist for the next Indie Artist Music Festival which is a regional cultured development of Artist of any form. We are hosting auditions and interviews, please respond to this posting, with the title in the subject line for more information. We encourage Artist who have established job related paraphernalia such as: demo cd’s and business cards, or any paraphernalia that indicates your commitment to your craft.

Ad ID: 1068289

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next New Networks is calling for head shots/reels for New York area comedians, actors/bloggers with strong improv backgrounds. We're casting for 2 shows and need both males and females.

1) A semi-scripted satire of late night talk shows.

2) A talk show in the style of the View, but with a focus on the frivolous. Each week the show will discuss the latest pop culture trends from Twilight to the Balloon Boy. We're looking for comedians/funny people who will have strong opinions and are willing to fight to the death for Team Edward or Team Jacob. This is not for the faint of heart.
Pilots are being shot soon so get your head shots / reels in quickly !

Send in your resume/reel/ headshot to Rob@NextNewNetworks.com

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COMEDIANS READ THIS!! THE COMEDY STORE NEEDS YOU FOR FRI NIGHT SHOWS ! (Hollywood (World Famous Comedy Store))

Date: 2009-11-23, 3:29PM PST
Reply to: job-qebbb-1479554581@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

Showcase your stand up comedy talent and perform in a show at The Comedy Store
on the red hot sizzling Sunset Strip on the best night of the week!

FRIDAY NIGHTS!

The Long Running Hit Comedy Show, "FUNNY FRIDAYS" show now in it's 4th
year at THE WORLD FAMOUS COMEDY STORE is looking for new comics !!

In the "Belly Room" where Whoopi Goldberg, Jim Carey, Roseanne & Sam Kinison
honed their talent.

Get your fans, agents, managers, producers, directors, casting
directors, friends and family to come see you PERFORM YOUR STANDUP
COMEDY with well known comics froms MADtv, Comedy Central, Last Comic
Standing, Showtime, Def Comedy Jam, PDiddy's Bad Boys of Comedy and HBO
and at the same time meet people in the comedy biz and open doors to
showcase your talent.

We have drop-ins from INDUSTRY come in recently to check out
our show to see comics such as the following:

- Agent(s) from ICM
- Talent scout from the Jimmy Kimmel Show
- A casting director from Liberman Patton that casts 5 TV shows and
cast one of our comics on the TV show: 'Medium'

We're bookng talented male and female comics now !!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WE ARE CURRENTLY BOOKING COMEDIANS FOR THE FOLLOWING FRIDAY DATES:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nov 09 - 27th - "BLACK FRIDAY" THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN BOOKING THIS SHOW PLEASE DO SO ASAP AS IT'S FILLING UP QUICKLY...WHAT A BETTER TIME TO HAVE YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES THAT ARE IN FOR THE HOLIDAYS COME AND SEE YOU PERFORM!!!
Dec 09 - 4th
Dec 09 - 11th
Dec 09 - 18th
Jan 10 - 8th
Jan 10 - 15th
Jan 10 - 22th
Jan 10 - 29th
-------------------

TO GET BOOKED PLEASE SEND AN EMAIL TO: FUNNIFRIDAYS@AOL.COM

WITH YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION AND WEBSITE OR MYSPACE LINK IF YOU HAVE IT.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------

TV Comedy Writer Needed

Company :	National Daily Television Show
Location :	California>Los Angeles
Category :	Writer>Other

Position :	Full Time
Experience :	0-2 Yrs Entry Level
Salary :	unspecified

National Daily Television Show is looking for Comedy Writers with at least 4-6 years of television writing experience. Applicants should be pop culture junkies who can appreciate the comedic sensibilities of current popular talk show hosts. Think you are the right person for the job? Send a cover letter and resume to SendUsARe***join for full access***

Dude- Where's My Green Job?

2009-12-10T10:01:00.000-08:00

We've just about had enough of this discussion about whether global warming is real or not!

Seriously, it doesn't matter to us if you believe the polar bears are just sissies for whining about their melting ice caps or you believe those guys that are yelling that the earth is naturally heating up because God wants us all to wear Bermuda shorts in winter- we don't care! Bottom line; you want a job or NOT? Okay then, let's move forward and keep an open mind!

As we wrote in our book (Thank You for Firing Me!) Green Jobs are not imaginary or impossible to find. There’s a great website with a directory of more than 3,000 green companies and hundreds of case studies on emerging green technology products and solutions: So step one: turn off the teevee and start reading about this stuff and stop listening to the mean people! http://www.greencollareconomy.com/

One of our personal Green Heroes is Van Jones- yeah, yeah, one of the ex- czars- get over it. Jones recently said to the Washington Post that it isn't easy to convince an "unemployed construction worker that it's time to start thinking about installing solar panels instead of aluminum siding"

Maybe if you offer the construction worker a six-pack of beer to go green he might have more of an incentive?

So here's the deal. The Feds have put in place a number of provisions and laws to create opportunity but people need to be educated about the fact that there are jobs out there. That won’t happen overnight, but we're doing our part.
This green movement only makes sense if the talent to fill the jobs is right here in this country, and there’s a real need for skilled craftsmen and workers in the green collar arena.
So get over your aversion to the color of green because hello! It's also the color of money!!!

Just because we love you we thought we would get you going with a couple of green jobs and websites to help you get back to work and make your Fox News- watching- friends green with envy!
***********************************************************************************

Solar Sales Specialist

SouthCoast Energy

San Diego, CA

Categories:
Sales & Marketing

Skill Level: Entry level

Position Type: Full Time

We, SouthCoast Energy, offer an opportunity of more than just a job and very high pay potential, do something positive for your community and planet. Begin a career in the nation's fastest growing Solar Power company.

We are a full service, licensed C-10 contracting company that specializes in photovoltaic (PV) solar panel systems and Electical bidding for homes, businesses, agriculture, farm winery and commercial customers. Our company is committed to providing the highest quality products, services, and installations for our customers at a competitive price through a total commitment to the highest standards of quality, reliability and dependability.

Responsibilities:

Responsible to generate sales of PV Systems to residential and commercial customers (Training Provided)
Site analysis (Training Provided)
Analysis of client's electrical usage (Training Provided)
Presentation of proposal (Training Provided)
Scheduling of job (Training Provided)

Qualifications:

Solar experience a must.

Compensation: commission only for probation period. Benefit + commission when qualified.

We are looking forward to a long-term relationship together in this exciting growing industry. Join Us.

To Apply:

Please forward your resume and salary history.

When you apply for this position, please say you saw this job on Green Dream Jobs!!

Contact Information:
866-987-6272 X 4 (phone)
858-831-0004 (fax)
info@southcoastenergy.com
http://www.southcoastenergy.com

********************************************

Zero Waste Projects Manager

San Francisco Conservation Corps (San Francisco, California)

Posted:

November 25, 2009

Address:

San Francisco, CA 94124

Occu:

Environmental Programs & Policy

Type:

Full-time, Permanent

Description:

Zero Waste Projects Manager

GREAT OPPORTUNITY for a MOTIVATED Event Recycling and Waste Reduction Visionary

The San Francisco Conservation Corps is looking for a dedicated recycler to lead our special event recycling projects in the role of Zero Waste Projects Manager. This is a unique opportunity to not only focus on event greening and Zero Waste goals, but to also inspire young adults ages 18-26 as they increase their environmental knowledge and waste reduction skills. This is your chance to be an active part of the Corpsmember experience as they participate in the SFCC's job training and education program.

As a member or the SFCC you will earn great pay, work in a challenging environment and know that your efforts are truly making a difference in the lives of young adults. The salary range is $45,615 to $48,407 per year DOE with excellent benefits including medical and dental.

Please refer to the SFCC’s Web site for a detailed job description and information on how to apply (http://www.sfcc.org/staff_zero_waste_projects_manager.html).

Salary:

$45,615 to $48,407 DOE

Apply by

Email:

personnel@sfcc.org

Website:

http://www.sfcc.org/staff_zero_waste_projects_manager.html
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Posted Dec 08

Distant Village Packaging, Chicago, IL

Sales Associate

Distant Village Packaging is an exciting and rapidly growing international company specializing in the custom hand-made packaging for specialty businesses. Distant Village Packaging focuses on eco-friendly and sustainable development and is a passionate contributor toward the betterment of the local communities and people we work with.

We are actively seeking the right candidate to join our team as a full-time Sales Associate at our office and showroom in Chicago. We offer a friendly and supportive working environment in which you will be challenged, valued, and encouraged to grow with our company.

To the qualified applicant we offer:
• Flexible work schedule
• Opportunity to gain valuable experience, including on-the-job training
• Fun work environment!

Responsibilities include:
• Follow up with prospects by email and phone in order to increase sales
• Generate new leads
• Maintain all client and prospect information in CRM database
• Sales Associate’s performance will be measured by leads generated, prospect inquiries for product information, and sales revenue contribution

Requirements:
• Sales experience
• Excellent communication skills, written and verbal
• Ability to attend trade shows 4-8 times per year
• Positive, energetic phone presence
• Self-starter with ability to work independently
• Ability to self-manage is a must!
• Articulate and capable of communicating with business owners and executives
• Microsoft Office: Word, Excel, PowerPoint
• Customer Relationship Management Software experience, Familiarity with Zoho (desired)
• Customer focused service attitude
• Fun personality and desire to grow with our business!!!

For immediate consideration please send resume and cover letter to jobs@distantvillage.com, with subject Sales Associate.

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Outdoor Education Instructor

Montana Yellowstone Expeditions

Emigrant, MT

Categories:
Education

Skill Level: Entry level

Position Type: Full Time

Montana Yellowstone Expeditions (MYE) creates summer youth programs in Southern Montana that provide programming and full scholarships for underserved youth ages 15-18 from California, Montana, New York and elsewhere. Each program is a multi-element experience that combines wilderness backpacking, a river trip, service learning and projects, equestrian training, leadership, and personal and group development into an effective 25-day experiential learning experience.

Upon completion of the MYE summer program, alumni are engaged in our Life Skills follow-up program that builds on new skills, and provides connections and resources for becoming who they want to be and taking their initial steps in the adult world.

MYE operates from a basecamp in the Tom Miner basin area of Montana's Paradise Valley, 30 minutes south of Livingston, MT, and 20 minutes north of Yellowstone National Park. MYE programs take place in and around YNP, on the Yellowstone River, and in the communities of southern Montana.

MYE is a challenging and rewarding place to work. We offer the opportunity to help craft and deliver programs that make a true and lasting impact on participants and staff alike. Each member of the staff plays an integral role in MYE's daily operations. We are all in it together and support each other to provide exceptional quality programming.

Working at MYE requires flexibility, ingenuity, commitment, and a desire to make a difference. Our staff members are encouraged to accept new challenges, step outside their comfort zone, and take advantage of all that MYE has to offer. Our goal is to create an environment of professional growth and learning for all staff. We will give you our very best and require the same in return.

The summer season consists of six 25-day multi-element wilderness programs, and three alumni programs - two 25-day Leadership Labs and a summer Intern Program. Staff to participant ratio is 5:1.

Montana Yellowstone Expeditions has the following opening for the 2010 summer season:

Position Overview:

The Instructing Staff at MYE are our best asset. You are where the experience, impact and success of our programs are crafted and delivered. MYE expects a tremendous level of commitment, professionalism, creativity and judgment from our Instructors, and we support you with resources, training, materials, and an unfailingly positive environment in which to do your best.

Working in pairs, Instructors are responsible for a group of 10 students in all aspects of their summer program.

Start Date: June 5th, 2010 (to be confirmed)
End Date: August 17th, 2010 (to be confirmed)
Timing reflects working two 25-day programs, approx 60 days of total work, including 9 days of paid staff training at the beginning of the season. There is a 4-7 day mid-season break, depending on scheduling. We are looking for full season commitments and positions are open until filled.

Reports to: MYE Program Director (PD)

Responsibilities:

Primary:

Instructors are primarily responsible for all aspects of the daily experience, well-being and management of students. Including, but not limited to:

Working closely with co-instructor to produce a safe, high quality ‘MYE' experience for students under their care
Curriculum development and teaching
Expedition planning, management and leadership
Safety and risk management oversight and responsibility
Logistical management of a group, including food and equipment preparation
Coordination with MYE staff and other groups
Evening and night supervision of students on expeditions and in basecamp
To safely transport students in the field, this will, at times, involve towing a trailer
To operate within MYE policies and be mindful of MYE guidelines and operating procedures
To ensure MYE equipment is used appropriately and returned in good condition at the end of each field component
Administrative tasks associated with program, reporting, evaluations and photo library

Secondary:

In addition to the above, Instructors may be responsible for:

Intern supervision and training
Supporting other MYE programs
Serving as support staff as coordinated by MYE
Assisting with the general operation of MYE
Contributing to the ongoing development and evolution of the MYE program
To actively seek opportunities for professional development during MYE season
To assist in Search and Rescue/Emergency operations as required by PD or Executive Director

Qualifications:

Must be 21 years or older (insurance requirement) with a clear driving record (experience driving large vehicles and towing trailers would be an advantage)
3+ years relevant work experience, including guiding novices in extended wilderness settings
Experience instructing/guiding white water sports (canoeing preferred but all white water experience considered), rock climbing instruction (minimum experience - student belay supervision) and leading multi-day hiking trips (off trail experience and/or snow travel/camping an advantage)
Experience supervising service learning, low ropes course / ABL elements would be an advantage
High energy, positive attitude, ability and willingness to work long hours and multiple days in succession
Flexible and adaptable to the changing demands of conducting wilderness-based programming
Current WEMT or WFR and CPR certifications, or international equivalent.

Compensation: Per diem, DOE; Meals and lodging at MYE facilities for the entire season;

To Apply:

Please email your resume/CV (including a summary of your professional and personal outdoor experience) to MYE Program Director, Ellen Sagmyr. She will respond within 3 days to arrange an initial conversation and/or forward an employment application.

When you apply for this position, please say you saw this job on Green Dream Jobs!!

Contact Information:
Ellen Sagmyr
ellen@myeconnect.org
http://www.myeconnect.org/

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Some great green jobs sites: (You're welcome!)

http://www.greencollarblog.org/

http://www.greencollarblog.org/

http://www.presidioedu.org/

Jobs for Tiger and You

2009-12-07T16:47:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when you love your job and it defines your life things can go terribly wrong. Take Tiger Woods- well we've never taken him, but apparently many others have.

The guy is the best golfer in the world, which is his job, but he can be a bit testy and full of himself. (one of us has interviewed him- trust us, he's not Mr. Warmth to the press.) Seriously, we don't know if we would even invite him to the annual holiday office party.

Over the course of his career his co-workers have probably become a little tired of him winning all the trophies, big paydays and bonuses and getting all the attention--- and golf groupies--- and we doubt that they're crying into their beers over the 'allegations' of his 'alleged' 73 mistresses and his wife's claim that he was a tad tipsy and on sleeping pills when he drove into the tree. Really, when you are the top-dog at your company people are usually after your ass and would love to take you down a peg. We've been there, trust us.

So anyway, we were thinking that Tiger might be a little worried about his image- and his paycheck. The world's greatest golfer makes his Cadillac payments from big companies-about 90% of the millions Woods earns are for endorsements - not for his golfing. His goody-golf shoes image as a married family man has been all but demolished by reports that he cavorted with women other than his wife. (Office romances- not a good idea if you want to keep your job.)

Tiger is holding onto his big bucks backers - at least for now- but we would like to reach out to him- and you. Here are some possible job opportunities for anyone who enjoys spending the day on the course can apply for if any of you lose your big paycheck. So get off the tee an apply NOW!

Fore! (or seven or ten...we've lost count!)

Golf Course Mechanic

EMAIL THIS JOB TO A FRIEND

Job Description

Performs ,maintenance on transmissions, differentials, brakes, tires, starters, generators, and radiators on trucks, golf course turf equipment, golf carts and grounds maintenance equipment under the guidance and direction of the Golf Course Superintendent. Makes visual and operational checks and tests on vehicles and equipment using test equipment and measuring devices. Performs mechanical duties in a repair shop to provide for preventive maintenance, and repair of gas and diesel mowers, small engines, tractors, golf carts and other related golf course turf and grounds maintenance equipment and their related attachments. Determines the need and orders necessary parts. Helps maintain an inventory of frequently used accessories, supplies, and parts. Enforces fire, safety and good housekeeping rules and regulations. Performs cleanup duties as required. Keeps tools and equipment in good condition.

Company Info

Other Info

View Company Profile

Morale, Welfare & Recreation Department
1706 Bainbridge Ave Bldg 352
Gulfport, Mississippi 39501
Harrison

Website:	http://www.jobsinms.com
Post on site:	From 12/1/2009 until 1/10/2010
Categories:	Trades
Job Type:	Temp
Full/Part Time:	Part Time - All
Salary:	Hourly Wage $13.12
Pay Grade:	NA 10
Job Code:	5823
Location Notes:	Pine Bayou Golf Course on the Naval Construction Battalion Center, Gulfport, MS

Job Requirements

Must have ability to read and understand repair manuals, diagrams and illustrations. Must have a record of proven capability to maintain and repair motor driven equipment. Must be capable of assuming the responsibility for the operation of the area and directing work of others. Must have a knowledge of set up and repair of reel type cutting units. Must have the skills to implement a preventative maintenance program on all golf equipment. Must have a valid drivers license.

Education Requirements

High School Diploma or GED equivalent. VETERAN'S PREFERENCE: Qualifying veterans must submit a copy of their DD-214 with their application for employment.

Benefits

Dept of the Navy is an Equal Employment Opportunity Employer. All qualified candidates will receive consideration without regard to race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, disability, marital status, political affiliation, sexual orientation or any other non-merit factors.

As a condition of employment, selectee will be required to participate in the Direct Deposit/Electronic Funds transfer within the first 60 days of employment. This is a DoD standard method of payment of personnel. Employees will be subject to administrative action for failure to enroll unless a waiver has been obtained.

Contact Info

This employer has selected the Apply Online option for this job. To apply directly to the employer for this position, simply click the Apply Online graphic.

Michelle Laster
HR Assistant
Morale, Welfare & Recreation Department
1706 Bainbridge Ave Bldg 352
Gulfport, Mississippi 39501

Phone:	2288712118
Fax:	2288712539
Email:	michelle.laster@navy.mil

How to apply: by Email, by Mail, by Fax, In Person

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GolfNow Videographers Wanted

GolfNow is looking for independent videographers to create golf course marketing videos for courses in your community. If you would like to earn some extra money (or maybe some free golf) then take a few minutes to complete the application below. We just need some basic information about your experience and video equipment. We’ll evaluate your application and let you know if we have an assignment for you.
http://www.golfnow.com/lasvegas/community/jobs/videographer

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ocation:

Westchester/Fairfiled Counties, NY 10512

Employee Type:

Full-Time

Industry:

Sales - Marketing
Recreation
Hotel - Resort

Manages Others:

Job Type:

Sales
Hospitality - Hotel
Marketing

Education:

4 Year Degree

Experience:

At least 2 year(s)

Division:

Human Resources

Post Date:

11/9/2009

Contact Information

Contact:

Director of Human Resources

Fax:

203-625-0087 instantly fax your resume >>

Description

Director of Golf Event Sales

Centennial Golf Club, Carmel, NY

Centennial Golf Club is seeking an experienced sales person with an outgoing personality to lead the corporate outing and golf event sales program.

Centennial Golf Club is the New York Metropolitan Area’s premier golf facility for corporate outings, meeting and seminars of all sizes. Accommodations can be made for groups as small as 16 and as large as 200. Centennial is conveniently located on the border of Westchester, Fairfield and Putnam Counties and within 1 hour from Manhattan.

Centennial was designed to be the perfect outing venue with

-27 Championship Holes designed by Larry Nelson, Member of Golf Hall of Fame

-Golf course is rated “**** Outstanding" by Golf Digest and named one of the “Top 100 Golf Courses for Women" by Golf for Women Magazine.

-Clubhouse and Pavilion with Dining and Meeting space for up to 200.

Job Description-

-Initiate and drive golf event sales

-Build and expand client base by contacting top level decision makers

-Cultivate and maintain long-term relationships with companies and organizations interested in golf events.

-Cold calling prospective customers.

-Ensure smooth execution of events by collaborating with appropriate department heads.

-Maintain close working relationship with customer at event and follow up to ensure satisfaction and maximize referrals

-Promote the club by attending chamber of commerce meetings and trade association meetings and shows and all other forms of networking

Requirements

Requirements

-4 year college degree preferred and 2 years of related experience in sales preferably in hospitality/golf/service industy.

-Excellent verbal and written communication skills and solid relationship building ability

-Superb ‘deal closing skills”

-Fearless- you should not be intimidated by the challenge of “pitching” a CEO or a President of a company about the merits of Golf Events for their employees and customers.

-Self motivated, dynamic and ability to work independently.

-Excellent customer service orientation and focus on customer satisfaction

-Strong organizational skills required.

-Strong leadership and people skills, plus the ability to build and foster a team environment desired.

-Knowledge of golf preferred.

-Proficient on computer software including Microsoft Word and Excel

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE

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http://www.golfingcareers.com/JobSeekerX/SearchJobs.asp?JobKeywords_Keyword=&rshp=1&st=IL%2CIN%2CKS%2CMI%2CMN%2CMO%2CNE%2CND%2COH%2CSD%2CWI
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Size Matters!

2009-12-03T14:54:00.000-08:00

Of course we''re talking jobs here, so get your mind out of the gutter.

Until recently, both of us lived in large cities, but a few months ago, one of us moved to a small town--- for a job! And we LOVE IT!

When we started looking to move away from the hustle and bustle, smog, crime and fast-food, we realized that there was employment outside of LA/NYC/LV and all the other big towns that we don't know the abbreviations for.

Beside jobs in nursing, newspapers, tourism and banking, you could possibly work from home and hell, you could always start growing stuff. (We don't want to know.)
If Eva and Eddie could move to Hooterville, you can too!

next time you're waiting for a bus or riding the subway or worse, stuck on the I5 for your 15-mile, 3 hour commute, think about riding your bike to work and getting home five minutes after quitting time . Cocktail hour will start on time for once!

So start perusing the Internet for gigs, buy our book AND a book about living in small rural towns (we don't condone moving to scary, back-water Deliverance-type towns) and start packing!

"Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside."

***********************************************************************************

Here are a couple of jobs to get you started! You are WELCOME!

Rockland, Maine:

Part-time Merchandisers Wanted!

We are looking for Merchandisers that have a positive attitude, strong work ethic, good communication skills and the ability to complete daily procedures and responsibilities without direct supervision. Candidates should be able to conduct store visits, have access to the Internet, have reliable transportation, and have the ability to lift up to 60 lbs.

To be considered for this opportunity, click APPLY NOW to submit your application online!

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Scottsbluff, NEB-

Permanent Occupational Therapist (OT) Job - Skilled Nursing Facility

Note: Results for the city in which a position is posted will be displayed as the closest metro area, as defined by the U.S. Government's statistical data on metro/micro areas (known as a CBSA) and their component counties. Although positions with Reflectx may exist in many small communities, they will be displayed on this site as the next largest city/county area in the job search results. Please contact Reflectx Staffing if you have questions about a specific position of interest.

Details

Start Date	11/18/2009
Discipline	Occupational Therapist (OT)
Specialty	Skilled Nursing Facility
Location	Scottsbluff, Nebraska
Job ID	163743
Job Type	Regular Full Time Employment
Description
Benefits	Reflectx Services is the values based travel & professional occupational therapy placement staffing company that can find the OT job that you want, in the location of your choice, nationwide! We have jobs in all locations and all settings - Once we get to know you, we'll work as hard as we can until we find the perfect match, customized for you! At Reflectx, "We're Creating a Positively Different Experience...Together!" Reflectx Services is a values based, full service healthcare employment organization that can find the job that you want, in the location of your choice, nationwide! Once we get to know you, we'll work as hard as we can until we find the perfect match, customized for you! At Reflectx, we're creating a positively different experience -together!

To learn more about this position, call 800-806-6026, email pat@reflectxstaffing.com, or fax your resume to 866-224-7231 .

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And here's one that makes us giggle in Leadville, CO-

Kum & Go jobs">


Job Title	Sales Manager
Job Type	Full-time Part-time
Hours	Not Specified
Pay Type	Hourly
Wages	To Be Determined
Location	203 Mt View Dr Leadville, CO 80461 kumandgo.com

A great site to get you started: http://www.wisebread.com/my-small-town-move-that-ended-the-job-search-blues

And of course- pre-order a copy of 'Thank You For Firing Me!" at BarnesandNoble.com for more tips on employment. barnesandnoble.com/

Seniors: Can You Count? How does 1,000,000 Jobs Sound?

2009-12-01T08:57:00.000-08:00

Can you still walk or is your Rascal Scooter street-worthy? Well if it is and the Social Security checks don't cover food after you hit the bingo parlor, then here's a great job for you!

The government is looking for millions of folks to pound (or roll) the pavement, knock on doors and count the populace as a CENSUS TAKER!

It's not too early to fill out your application as a 2010 U.S. Census worker. The good news is you won't slip on the ice and break a hip because most jobs won't begin until the spring.

There are five type of census jobs -- census takers, crew leaders, crew leader assistants, recruiting assistants, and census clerks. Most jobs will last several weeks. Applicants generally need to have a valid driver's license and, where public transportation is not available, use their own vehicles (mileage expenses will be paid). For census takers -- the largest category of jobs offered -- evening and weekend work is standard in order to find people at home.

You need to apply for a job through the census office closest to where you live. You can call (866) 861-2010 and, if you enter your ZIP code when prompted, your call will be routed to the nearest office. Or, you can obtain all the materials online. There is an interactive map with office locations. Pay ranges from $10 to $25 an hour and is keyed to wages in local markets. Once you've located the local office, call and schedule an appointment to apply for a position and take a 28-question employment test.

So if you're still with us and haven't wandered off to take a nap, check out the on-line application and earn some pocket money. http://2010.census.gov/2010censusjobs/pdf/BC-170D_fillable.pdf

The job is temporary but the hours might be long, so don't forget the Depends!

Don't Bogart that Textbook....

2009-11-29T17:18:00.000-08:00

In our book, Thank You for Firing Me!* we stress that in this economy, going back to school isn't just for kids.

Turn your skills into something useful. Example: you are an out-of-work electrician-hello! Go back to school and turn that energy clean and green. Solar classes can be found at your local community college or online at places such as: http://www.solarclassesonline.com/

There are so many ways you can tweak your skills and bring them into the 21st Century, but our favorite has to be Weed University.

That's right, now that medicinal marijuana is legal in 13 states, there is a need for caring individuals to own, operate and work in pot pharmacies. In fact, one of our children finally found a job that was perfect for her: she works the front desk at a cannabis collective called Spectrum of Kindness. ( http://legalmarijuanadispensary.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&catid=121:north-san-diego-cannabis-clubs&id=2470:spectrum-of-kindness-cooperative&Itemid=118)

"Mom, it's such a great job and the people are so nice," she told us. She works long hours but she loves her job and calls herself "the weed fairy."

And she's not the only person out there collecting a paycheck from an agropharmacologist. (look it up.)

People of all ages- especially in Michigan, a state hit so hard by the recession-are looking to cash in on this job that helps people in pain. Heck, you're practically a saint if you dispense pot!

That fancy-pants newspaper, the New York Times recently published a front page article on Med Grow Cannabis College ( http://www.medgrowmi.com) proving that it's not just for breakfast anymore.

Nope people of all ages- including those in their 40's and 50's are looking to open their own legal pot biz and the cool Prez pretty much has given his blessing and told the feds to back off.

So, if you have a good business sense, a green thumb and can keep your hands off the product, then this is the job for you! Grab your back-to-school clothes, your text books and a roach clip and head back to school.

As the immortal Frank Sinatra once sang, "Doobie, doobie, doo!"

NYT article: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/29/education/29marijuana.html

* Pre-order Thank You for Firing Me! now at BarnesandNoble.com- http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/results.asp?WRD=thank+you+for+firing+me&box=thank%20you%20for&pos=0

Talking Turkey!

2009-11-25T20:17:00.000-08:00

Everyone is talking turkey today which is great- just what WE were thinking. Turkey...jobs... Jobs IN Turkey! HA! How clever are WE?

Anyhoo, if you're tired of pounding the pavement and running out of unemployment benefits perhaps you should get a job....get this...IN TURKEY!

Yep, we said Turkey. Seriously, what do you have going for you here? No girlfriend, no job, no apartment...HELLO! Move to Turkey! Why not...unless you're a woman. Maybe not so exciting. Unless you're married and don't mind wearing that whole burka thing, but you probably do.

So guys, back to the reason you're here...a JOB!

Here are some great gigs in that country called Turkey- gobble, gobble, gobble. Happy Thanksgiving! You can thank us later!

RECRUITING INFORMATION

We as Leeds Language Academy are recruiting native English teachers with a teaching certificate for private elementary and high schools all around Turkey.

The schools demand from teachers to work from 9am to 4pm all week days,to join workshop activities and meetings,to follow up a coursebook,to obey to the regulations of the school,to be enthusiastic and patient about teaching.Other terms will be discussable with the school.

You will be paying for your rent on your own.You will be helped about finding a place to stay.You will have your lunch at the school.At most, you will have 100 hours of classes monthly.You will be paid monthly.The school terms will be 8 months long.On holidays you will be free.In winter and in summer you will be joining some courses other than the school.You will be paid extra for these courses.These courses will be done by Leeds Language Academy.We have a lot of references about the things we do.It can be provided if needed.

The salary depends on the school.But at least it will be 2000 TL .You need to have a residence permit at first.Work permit is not necessary for the beginning.Schools will be helping you to get one if necessary.You will be getting a tax number and all your payments will be done to your bank account in Turkey.Bank accounts are available to natives by getting a tax number with their passports.

At first no payments will be done for the airfares.Later on depending on the performance of the teacher everything can be negotiable.We will be trying to let you have the best circumstances.

These are the brief details of being an English teacher in Turkey.If you are interested in becoming a teacher and would like to be in Turkey,we are here with our proposal.You can count on us.

References about our company can be provided.Please let us know asap.

Starting Date

Sep 18, 09

Salary & benefits

Salary / month

2,000		U.S Dallar

Salary worth in other currencies
1,540		European Union Euro
3,220		Turkish Lira (TL)

Med Insurance

Yes Partial No

Dental Insurance

Yes Partial No

Severance Pay

Yes No

Holidays

Visa Sponsor

Yes No

Airfare

Yes No Negotiable

Housing

Negotiable

Contact

Name

To see the contact points, please login or signup for free.

Tel

Website

Address

------------------

A qualified CA/CPA with around 10 years of experience, few years of which should be locally, to head the Finance & Accounts Dept., of our overseas Project in Turkey. Experience in Logistics & Tranposrt will be an added advantage. Candidate must have sound knowledge in English and Turkish language (Read, write and speak) and will be within the age group of 35 to 45 years. Excellent packages and benefits for the right candidate.

Starting Date

Jul 26, 09

Salary & benefits

Salary / month

Negotiable

Med Insurance

Yes Partial No

Dental Insurance

Yes Partial No

Severance Pay

Yes No

Holidays

30 days / year

Visa Sponsor

Yes No

Airfare

Yes No Negotiable

Housing

Furnished - private

Contact

Name

To see the contact points, please login or signup for free.

Tel

Website

Address

Sales Representative / Manager

Argentina

Buenos Aires:
Cordoba:

Brazil

Rio de Janeiro:
Sao Paulo:

China

Beijing:
Hong Kong:
Shanghai:
Kunming:
Hangzhou:
Xi'an:
Rural Areas:

India

New Delhi:

Japan

Tokyo:

Romania

Bucuresti (Bucharest) Turkey

Ankara, Istanbul, Izmir
Length of Position: Please contact us using the link at the top of the page for details.
Dates: Please contact us using the link at the top of the page for details.

Description: * Sales Representative
Following is the list of challenges the Sales Professional will face:
-Proactively search potential clients and present Basecent to them
-Manage all stages of the sales process
-Search, develop and manage customer relations and expectations
-Manage your own time and success for that matter

* Sales Manager
Following is the list of challenges the Sales Manager will face:
-Proactively search potential key clients and present Basecent to them
-Manage all stages of the sales process as well as a team of Sales Professionals
-Search, develop and manage customer relations and expectations
-Research, evaluate and recommend changes
-Report directly to the company HQ
-Create and execute local sales strategy

Highlights: * Sales Representative
The position of sales professional is a very challenging one. As Basecent network is constantly growing, we expect you to be active and up-to-date with
technology. You will be reporting directly to the company headquarter on a weekly basis via written report. You will have full freedom of your time and your earnings will be based on your success. Result-oriented bonus system
also applies.

* Sales Manager
The position of sales manager is a very challenging one. As Basecent network is constantly growing, we expect you to be active and up-to-date with
technology and be proficient in sales experience and presenting services/products to clients. In addition, you will manage a team of at least five (5) people at all time. You will have full freedom of your time and your earnings will be based on your success and the success of your team. You will be responsible for the local strategy and its execution. You will be reporting directly to the company headquarter on a weekly basis via written report. The report will include a written performance evaluation for each member of your team as well as recommendation as to how the work process can be improved.

Qualifications: * Sales Representative
You are the right candidate for the position if you:
- Have experience of at least two years in the area of sales
- Are positive, motivated, confident, proactive, always on the move
- Have good command of English as a second language /both verbal and written/
- Have working knowledge of Microsoft Office
- Want to meet the captains of various industries
- Are good communicator
- Are willing to take control of your own success

Note: We value loyal as well as proactive and enthusiastic people. All candidates will be treated in confidentiality. All candidates will be given an answer /positive or negative/ within 7 calendar days of their applications via e-mail.

Monthly Salary:Commission-based: 1,600 EUR /approx/

* Sales Manager
You are the right candidate for the position if you:
- Have experience of at least three years in the area of sales
- Are positive, motivated, confident, proactive, always on the move
- Have good command of English as a second language /both verbal and written/
- Have working knowledge of Microsoft Office
- Want to meet the captains of various industries
- Are good communicator
- Are willing to take control of your own success
- Are able and experienced in managing teams
- Are experienced in setting goals, analyzing markets, creating strategies and executing them
- Are a team player

Monthly Salary:Commission-based: 2,500 EUR and up /approx/

Job Types :

Communications

Marketing, Ad, PR

Sales

Salary / Pay: Sales Representative - Evaluation Period (6 months): Commission-based: 1500 EUR / month / approx. Post-Eval. Period (ongoing): Salary + Commission-based bonuses Sales Manager - Evaluation Period (6 months): Commission-based: 2400 EUR / month / approx. Post-Eval. Period (ongoing): Salary + Commission-based bonuses

Experience Required: yes

Sales Representative - at least one year of sales experience Sales Manager - 2, pref. 3 to 5 years of sales experience

This Program is open to Worldwide Participants.

Typically Participants Work Independently or in Groups of 3-20

Application Process Involves:

Essay
Online Application plus Application Assessment
Resume
Written Application

Basecent's Mission Statement: To create an opportunity for you /businesses of all types and sizes/ to share information and communicate easily with each other and your both potential and existing clients through a comprehensive online-profile-based platform.

Year Founded: 2009

Are you interested in this jobs abroad program? CONTACT BASECENT

For more jobs in....TURKEY...check out http://www.jobsabroad.com/Turkey.cfm

Want to work on Black Friday? Ask for Combat Pay!

2009-11-24T16:52:00.000-08:00

Are you so desperate for work that you would risk your life for a paycheck? Well do we have a job for you!

No, we don't want you to join the military or take a job at Chuck E Cheese, but it's just as dangerous.

You'll have to get up at 3am, drive to work in the dark and risk life and limb climbing over shoppers- dressed in sweats and slippers wearing dirty NFL blankets (which they got in a fight over with a 90-year-old grandma last Black Friday) over their shoulders and sitting in beach chairs sipping over- sized Mountain Dews and eating pork rinds- just to get to work.

Then you will be thrown into a job that you've had absolutely no training for and the doors will open to people who haven't slept since the day before Thanksgiving and who have coupons for a HD wide-screen TV for $10.95. (there will be one for sale.) and who would as soon run your ass over as look at you.

STAND THE HELL OUT OF THEIR WAY!

We actually think that if you take one of these one-day only jobs you should go and hide in the bathroom until your shift is over. Bring a book and a sandwich because seriously, no one will notice anyway!

So check out the jobs, slap on your kids bike helmet and head to the nearest Wally World for a quick payday. Just think of the stories you'll be able to tell your kids.... if you make it home alive that is!

Best of luck!
*************************************************************************************

Black Friday - Retail Assignment - Earn extra $$

ONE DAY ASSIGNMENT - November 27th 1:00am-9:00am (Black Friday).
Seeking candidates to assist customers with parking, locating items, crowd control busy departments and carry outs. $9.50 per hour.
Great opportunity to earn a few extra $$ for the Holidays.

Please refer to job code 25953p when responding to this ad.

Category:	Retail
	> Retail Manager > Customer Service > Stocking
Location:	Utica, NY
County:	Oneida County
ZIP Code:	13501
Pay Rate:	9.50
Job Terms:	per diem
Company:	Staffworks Professional
Phone:	315-735-5050 x240
Fax:	315-735-1113

Black Friday Retail Opportunities!!!!

Location:
US-MA-Framingham

Status:
Contractor

Category:
Retail

Phone:
508-870-0900

Contact Information

Company:
Manpower

Reference Code:
440238

Black Friday Retail Opportunities!!!!

Job Description

Our client in the Framingham (MA) area is in search of candidates to work Black Friday. The shifts are a 1:00am-9:00am and a 4:00am-11:00am.

This is a great opportunity to get a little extra cash for the holiday season. There will be 2 half day training sessions as well on the week of black friday.

We are looking for customer service friendly candidates to manage the foot traffic at the store. Candidates must be able to stand on their feet all day. A patient and flexible attitude is a must! Please call our office at 508-870-0900 and reference "black friday" when calling.

Manpower is an Equal Opportunity Employer (EOE/AA)

We're the right company. Tell us why you're the right person. At Manpower, our mission is to serve as trusted advisers in the changing world of work. Work with us and make a change for the better.

Report It

---------------------------------------------------------------
Charlotte , NC

Need flyering people to flyer on Black Friday! We need your help bringing awareness to the public about our newest health clubs!

Anyone interested will receive a free 30 day membership to our health club in exchange for your services!

Please respond via phone!!!
704-752-5988!!

Get your friends to come in! You can have fun working and then have friends to work out with too!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
San Diego, CA

Multiple Positions Available successful candidates must possess a telephone and transportation security experience preferred not required. Must have open availability including Thanks Giving Black Friday and Saturday after excellent people and human relations skills needed for this assignment. This for black friday for a large retail chain, hours will vary. Please read all instruction is this posting. Langner Security has recently been awarded a contract to provide crowd management/security for a major retail chain during "Black Friday" 11/27/2009. We have several positions available statewide and we are looking to work with qualified local security and event staff personal.

* We are hiring guards for this event. If interested in working as a guard, email the following to info@langnerspecialservices.com:

1. Name
2. Telephone Number
3. Guard Permit Number (if applicable)
4. Email Address

If you need more info please contact us at 888 452 4987
ASHLEY MILLER
OR
ALEX FERNANDEZ 818 237 5347
Sub-Contractors please call 888-452-4987 extension 77204

-One day event, average work day 9-12 hours.
-Several locations with multiple guards at each.
-Competitive billing rate.

"Security is Service"

langnerspecialservices.com

Location: SAN DIEGO COUNTY WIDE

Need a Job? Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo!

2009-11-23T10:04:00.000-08:00

Your Fairy godmother might be drinking up the sun and tequila in Cabo for the holidays, but we can help you find a gig at the Happiest place on earth. (No, not Hooters!*) DISNEYLAND!

That's right, you can find fun jobs wearing sexy Snow White costumes and hugging cute teenage boys while earning a paycheck! And if you don't have that particular fantasy, you can still crunch numbers or operate rides at the park. If we didn't have an aversion to rodents WE would work there. I mean, who wouldn't want to work along side Donald and Mickey and Goofy and Glenn Beck? (no?)

Here are a few folks who got their start working for the Mouse:

Wayne Brady - WDW dancer/Tigger Robin Williams - Jungle Cruise director (for a few weeks) Jennifer Hudson (American Idol) - sang on the Disney Cruise Lines Kevin (Backstreet Boys) - Aladdin Leanza Corbett (Miss Amercia) - Ariel at MGM Patrick Swayze - Prince Charming Kathryn Jooster (the West Wing) - Streetsmosphere MGM Performer Traylor Howard - CM Kevin Richardson (Backstreet Boys) & Wife - both CM's Taye Diggs - Tigger Joey Fatone - Ninja Turtle at MGM Terri Ivans (All My Children) - Cindrella Mice Steve Martin - DL magic Shop Kevin Costner - Jungle Cruise Captain (wife was Snow White) Richard Carpenter (The Carptenters) - DL CM Ryan Gosling (among many others) - Mouseketeer

Not to mention our favorites, Christina, Justin and Britney bitch!

So there ya have it! Check out a few of the jobs we list here and then go to the Disney site at corporate.disney.go.com/careers/index.html to get your E Ticket to a great job!

Work for Uncle Walt!

Male and Female Vocalists to portray Disney Prince and Princesses For: Disney Cruise Line Audition City: Toronto, Canada Location: OIP Dance Centre Looking For: Singers	November 23, 2009 01:00 PM Time zone: Eastern Time (US & Canada)
Disney Cruise Line® is seeking talented and versatile musical theatre performers for Mainstage productions on their luxury cruise liner, the Disney Wonder®, sailing the Caribbean and Bahamas. Repertory casting for up to four musical theatre style shows, including “Toy Story the Musical” and the award-winning “Disney Dreams”. Contracts begin in February 2010 and run for approximately 7 months with minimum weekly pay rate of $750 (negotiable depending on role), room and board and some guest sailing privileges. All performers must be able to move well. Audition Location: OIP Dance Centre 190 Richmond Street East - 2nd Floor Toronto, Ontario M5A 1P1 Sign-in: 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM Seeking the following roles: Belle, Pocahontas, Cinderella, Snow White: Strong musical theatre vocalists, 5’5” to 5’8”. Prince Charming: handsome male actor who sings well, baritone to G. 5’ 10” and above. Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age. Please prepare 16 bars of a contemporary musical theatre selection showing great personality, and provide sheet music in the correct key; an accompanist will be provided. Please provide a current headshot and resume. Please be prepared to learn a simple movement combination. Current Walt Disney World Resort Cast Members are not eligible to audition. EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney collapse info
African-American Female pop-gospel vocalists For: Disney Cruise Line Audition City: Toronto, Canada Location: OIP Dance Centre Looking For: Singers	November 23, 2009 04:00 PM Time zone: Eastern Time (US & Canada)
Disney Cruise Line® is seeking talented and versatile African-American female performers for Mainstage productions on their luxury cruise liner, the Disney Wonder®, sailing the Caribbean and Bahamas. Repertory casting for up to four musical theatre style shows, including “Toy Story the Musical” and the award winning “Disney Dreams”. Contracts begin in February 2010 and run for approximately 7 months with minimum weekly pay rate of $750 (negotiable depending on role), room and board and some guest sailing privileges. All performers must be able to move well. Audition Location: OIP Dance Centre 190 Richmond Street East - 2nd Floor Toronto, Ontario M5A 1P1 Sign-in: 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM Seeking the following roles: African American Female vocalist: (20's - 30's) Gospel singer, has the ability to 'bring down the house'. Movement a plus. Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age. Please prepare 16 bars of a contemporary musical theatre selection showing great personality, and provide sheet music in the correct key; an accompanist will be provided. Be prepared to learn a simple movement combination. Please bring a current headshot and resume. Current Walt Disney World Resort Cast Members are not eligible to audition. EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney collapse info
Disney Character Performers For: Disney Cruise Line Audition City: Toronto, Canada Location: OIP Dance Centre Looking For: Atmosphere Characters	November 24, 2009 10:00 AM Time zone: Eastern Time (US & Canada)
Disney Cruise Line® is seeking talented and versatile Disney Character performers for Mainstage productions on their luxury cruise liner, the Disney Wonder®, sailing the Caribbean and Bahamas. Repertory casting for up to four musical theatre style shows, including “Toy Story the Musical” and the award winning “Disney Dreams”. Contracts begin in February 2010 and run for approximately 7 months with room and board and some guest sailing privileges. All performers must be able to move well. Audition Location: OIP Dance Centre 190 Richmond Street East - 2nd Floor Toronto, Ontario M5A 1P1 Sign-in: 9:30 AM - 10:00 AM Seeking the following roles: Disney Costumed Character Performers: Character performers appear as costumed Disney characters in our mainstage productions as well as in meet and greets on board the ships. Females: 4'8" - 5'8"; Males: 6' - 6'2". Casting need for males 5’5” to 5’8” with youthful ‘boyish’ look. An animation and movement combination will be taught. Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age. Be prepared to learn a simple movement combination. Please bring a current headshot and resume. Current Walt Disney World Resort Cast Members are not eligible to audition. EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney collapse info
Disney Character, Parade and Character Look-alike Performers For: Disneyland Paris Audition City: London, The United Kingdom Location: Danceworks Studios Looking For: Face Characters, Atmosphere Characters, and Parade Performers	November 24, 2009 10:00 AM Time zone: London
Disneyland® Paris gives you the opportunity to perform on the biggest stage in Europe by joining their Character and Parade department. DISNEY CHARACTERS Bring the Disney® Characters to life by performing meet and greets within the Disneyland® Paris Resort. We are looking for highly energetic and enthusiastic people who want to become part of the magic. No previous performing experience required. PARADE PERFORMERS* If you have a good basic dance level, add the possibility of dancing in one of our Parades to your Disney experience. CHARACTER LOOK-ALIKE PERFORMERS* We are looking for performers for a variety of shows, greetings and parades who resemble the classic Disney® Prince and Princess look-a-likes including Mulan and also our new addition, Princess Tiana and Prince Naveen from the Princess and the Frog. *All Parade Performers and Character look-alike performers also perform as costume characters. All heights are welcome. Character only – 1375 € gross/month; Character/Parade/Character look-alike performers – 1595 € gross/month 40 Contracts available with start dates between December 2009 and January 2010, for a minimum of 6 months. All candidates must be a minimum of 18 years old. Please bring your passport and a non-returnable CV. Wear comfortable clothing, as you will be asked to participate in a movement/dance combination. All successful candidates will be asked to attend a job interview in the afternoon ending no later than 7pm. Anybody unable to attend this audition is invited to send his or her CV + photo to the following address for future reference: www.disneylandparis-casting.com or by post to: Disneyland Paris Character and Parade recruitment Bâtiment Merlin B.P 100 77777 Marne La Vallée Cedex 4 FRANCE OPEN AUDITION CALL: 24th November 2009 at 10:00am (GMT +00 London Time) Danceworks Studios 16 Balderton Street LONDON (Opposite Selfridges Clock) Underground: Bond Street (Central and Jubilee Lines) Marble Arch (Central Line) collapse info
Male and Female Vocalists to portray Peter Pan and Ann Marie For: Disney Cruise Line Audition City: Toronto, Canada Location: OIP Dance Centre Looking For: Singers	November 24, 2009 01:00 PM Time zone: Eastern Time (US & Canada)
Disney Cruise Line® is seeking talented and versatile musical theatre performers for Mainstage productions on their luxury cruise liner, the Disney Wonder®, sailing the Caribbean and Bahamas. Repertory casting for up to four musical theatre style shows, including “Toy Story the Musical” and the award winning “Disney Dreams”. Contracts begin in February 2010 and run for approximately 7 months with minimum weekly pay rate of $750 (negotiable depending on role), room and board and some guest sailing privileges. All performers must be able to move well. Audition Location: OIP Dance Centre 190 Richmond Street East - 2nd Floor Toronto, Ontario M5A 1P1 Sign-in: 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM Seeking the following roles: Ann Marie: Female, 20's, 5'3" and under. Bright mix. Youthful with a very energetic spirit. Movement ability a plus. Peter Pan: Male, early 20s. Tenor. 5’7” and under. Must move well. Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age. Please prepare 16 bars of a contemporary musical theatre selection showing great personality, and provide sheet music in the correct key; an accompanist will be provided. Be prepared to learn a simple movement combination. Please bring a current headshot and resume. Current Walt Disney World Resort Cast Members are not eligible to audition. EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney collapse info
Male and Female Vocalists to portray Disney Prince and Princesses For: Disney Cruise Line Audition City: New York, NY Location: Ripley Grier Studios Looking For: Singers	December 01, 2009 02:00 PM Time zone: Eastern Time (US & Canada)
Disney Cruise Line® is seeking talented and versatile musical theatre performers for Mainstage productions on their luxury cruise liner, the Disney Wonder®, sailing the Caribbean and Bahamas. Repertory casting for up to four musical theatre style shows, including “Toy Story the Musical” and the award-winning “Disney Dreams”. Contracts begin in February 2010 and run for approximately 7 months with minimum weekly pay rate of $750 (negotiable depending on role), room and board and some guest sailing privileges. All performers must be able to move well. Audition Location: Ripley Grier Studios 520 8th Ave. - suite 16 New York, NY Photo ID is required to enter the building. Sign-in: 1:30 PM - 2:30 PM Seeking the following roles: Belle, Pocahontas, Cinderella, Snow White: Strong musical theatre vocalists, 5’5” to 5’8”. Prince Charming: handsome male actor who sings well, baritone to G. 5’ 10” and above. Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age. Please prepare 16 bars of a contemporary musical theatre selection showing great personality; an accompanist will be provided. Please provide a current headshot and resume. Please be prepared to learn a simple movement combination. Current Walt Disney World Resort Cast Members are not eligible to audition. EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney collapse info
Female Dancers who Resemble Ariel For: Hong Kong Disneyland Audition City: Brisbane, Australia Location: ID Studio Looking For: Dancers	December 02, 2009 10:00 AM Time zone: Brisbane
Hong Kong Disneyland is seeking Female Dancers who resemble the character Ariel from the Disney movie, The Little Mermaid, and who are ready for a life-enriching experience in one of the world's most exciting and exotic locales. Excellent benefits include roundtrip airfare, individual housing with paid utilities, shuttle service to and from work, medical and dental coverage, paid vacations and sick days, plus a competitive salary, a daily living allowance and the Magic of Disney! Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age and willing to relocate to Hong Kong for the duration of their contract. Six month contracts begin Spring 2010. Dancers should have a well-rounded background in jazz and ballet. Tumbling and gymnastic ability is a plus but not required. Auditions Location: Dance Works Studio 19 Burke Street, Woolloongabba, Brisbane QLD 4102, Australia Audition Sign in Time: 09:15am Audition Time: 10:00am EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney For more information, please e-mail us at: auditions@hongkongdisneyland.com collapse info
Female Face Characters For: Hong Kong Disneyland Audition City: Brisbane, Australia Location: ID Studio Looking For: Face Characters	December 02, 2009 12:00 PM Time zone: Brisbane
Hong Kong Disneyland® is seeking Female Disney Character Look-alike performers ready for a life-enriching experience in one of the world's most exciting and exotic locales. Excellent benefits include roundtrip airfare, individual housing with paid utilities, shuttle service to and from work, medical and dental coverage, paid vacations and sick days, plus a competetive salary, a daily living allowance and the Magic of Disney! Female performers are needed to portray beloved Disney heroines, 5'2" - 5'7". We will be seeking females only for the following roles: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, Ariel and Alice in Wonderland. There are no male roles available. Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age and willing to relocate to Hong Kong for the duration of their contract. Please wear comfortable attire for a possible movement routine. Six month contracts begin Spring 2010. Auditions Location: Dance Works Studio 19 Burke Street, Woolloongabba, Brisbane QLD 4102, Australia Audition Sign In Time: 11:30am Audition Time: 12:00pm EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney For more information, please e-mail us at: auditions@hongkongdisneyland.com collapse info
Male and Female Dancers who Sing For: Disney Cruise Line Audition City: New York, NY Location: Ripely Grier Studios Looking For: Dancers	December 03, 2009 10:00 AM Time zone: Eastern Time (US & Canada)
Disney Cruise Line® is seeking talented and versatile dancers for Mainstage productions on their luxury cruise liner, the Disney Wonder®, sailing the Caribbean and Bahamas. Repertory casting for up to four musical theatre style shows, including “Toy Story the Musical” and the award winning “Disney Dreams”. Contracts begin in February 2010 and run for approximately 7 months with minimum weekly pay rate of $750 (negotiable depending on role), room and board and some guest sailing privileges. All performers must be able to move well. Audition Location: Ripley Grier Studios 520 8th Ave. New York, NY Photo ID is required to enter the building. Sign-in: 9:00 AM - 10:00 AM Seeking the following roles: Male dancers: 5’ 10” and above, versatile dancing required, tumbling a plus. One dancer must portray “Tarzan”. Female dancers: 5’3” – 5’7”. Please also prepare 16 bars of your best vocal selection. Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age. Please prepare 16 bars of your best vocal selection to sing a cappella. Please be warmed up and ready to begin at the time listed. Please wear form fitting attire to show your silhouette. Please provide a current headshot and resume. Current Walt Disney World Resort Cast Members are not eligible to audition. EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney collapse info
Disney Character, Parade and Character Look-alike Performers For: Disneyland Paris Audition City: North Hollywood, CA, USA Location: Debbie Reynolds studio Looking For: Face Characters, Atmosphere Characters, and Parade Performers	December 03, 2009 10:00 AM Time zone: Pacific Time (US & Canada)
Disneyland® Paris gives you the opportunity to perform on the biggest stage in Europe by joining their Character and Parade department. CHARACTER LOOK-A-LIKE PERFORMERS/DISNEY CHARACTERS/PARADE PERFORMERS We are looking for Disney® Prince and Princess look-a-likes who resemble the classic animated characters for a variety of shows, greetings and parades. A good basic dance level is required, to perform in our shows and Parades. You will also be bring the Disney® Characters to life by performing meet and greets within the Disneyland® Paris Resort. We are looking for highly energetic and enthusiastic people who want to become part of the Disneyland Paris magic. No previous performing or face character experience required. All Character look-alike performers also perform as fur/costume characters. All heights ranges are welcome. Character look-a-likes/fur Characters/Parade performers – 1595 € gross/month Contract dates May 2010 until January 2011. All candidates must be a minimum of 18 years old. Please bring a photo and a non-returnable resume to the audition. Wear comfortable clothing, as you will be asked to participate in a movement/dance combination. All successful candidates will be asked to attend a 3 hour job interview on either the 5th, 6th or 7th of December 2009 at Disneyland Anaheim. OPEN AUDITIONS: 3rd December 2009 10 am Debbie Reynolds studio 6514 Lankershim Blvd North Hollywood, CA 91606-2409 View Map Come join us and be part of the magic of Disneyland® Paris. collapse info
Female Dancers who Resemble Ariel For: Hong Kong Disneyland Audition City: Sydney, Australia Location: NIDA - National Institute of Dramatic Art Looking For: Dancers	December 03, 2009 10:00 AM Time zone: Sydney
Hong Kong Disneyland is seeking Female Dancers who resemble the character Ariel from the Disney movie, The Little Mermaid, and who are ready for a life-enriching experience in one of the world's most exciting and exotic locales. Excellent benefits include roundtrip airfare, individual housing with paid utilities, shuttle service to and from work, medical and dental coverage, paid vacations and sick days, plus a competitive salary, a daily living allowance and the Magic of Disney! Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age and willing to relocate to Hong Kong for the duration of their contract. Six month contracts begin Spring 2010. Dancers should have a well-rounded background in jazz and ballet. Tumbling and gymnastic ability is a plus but not required. Audition Location: NIDA - National Institute of Dramatic Art 215 Anzac Parade Kensington, NSW 2033 Australia Sign In Time: 9am Audition Time: 10am EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney For more information, please e-mail us at: auditions@hongkongdisneyland.com collapse info
Female Face Characters For: Hong Kong Disneyland Audition City: Sydney, Australia Location: NIDA - National Institute of Dramatic Art Looking For: Face Characters	December 03, 2009 12:00 PM Time zone: Sydney
Hong Kong Disneyland® is seeking Female Disney Character Look-alike performers ready for a life-enriching experience in one of the world's most exciting and exotic locales. Excellent benefits include roundtrip airfare, individual housing with paid utilities, shuttle service to and from work, medical and dental coverage, paid vacations and sick days, plus a competetive salary, a daily living allowance and the Magic of Disney! Female performers are needed to portray beloved Disney heroines, 5'2" - 5'7". We will be seeking females only for the following roles: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, Ariel and Alice in Wonderland. There are no male roles available. Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age and willing to relocate to Hong Kong for the duration of their contract. Please wear comfortable attire for a possible movement routine. Six month contracts begin Spring 2010. Audition Location: NIDA - National Institute of Dramatic Art 215 Anzac Parade Kensington, NSW 2033 Australia Contact number: +61 2 9697 7600 Sign In Time: 1:00pm Audition Time: 2:00pm EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney For more information, please e-mail us at: auditions@hongkongdisneyland.com collapse info
Male and Female Vocalists to portray Peter Pan and Ann Marie For: Disney Cruise Line Audition City: New York, NY Location: Ripley Grier Studios Looking For: Singers	December 03, 2009 02:00 PM Time zone: Eastern Time (US & Canada)
Disney Cruise Line® is seeking talented and versatile musical theatre performers for Mainstage productions on their luxury cruise liner, the Disney Wonder®, sailing the Caribbean and Bahamas. Repertory casting for up to four musical theatre style shows, including “Toy Story the Musical” and the award winning “Disney Dreams”. Contracts begin in February 2010 and run for approximately 7 months with minimum weekly pay rate of $750 (negotiable depending on role), room and board and some guest sailing privileges. All performers must be able to move well. Audition Location: Ripley Grier Studios 520 8th Ave. - suite 16 New York, NY Photo ID is required to enter the building. Sign-in: 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM Seeking the following roles: Ann Marie: Female, 20's, 5'3" and under. Bright mix. Youthful with a very energetic spirit. Movement ability a plus. Peter Pan: Male, early 20s. Tenor. 5’7” and under. Must move well. Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age. Please prepare 16 bars of a contemporary musical theatre selection showing great personality; an accompanist will be provided. Be prepared to learn a simple movement combination. Please bring a current headshot and resume. Current Walt Disney World Resort Cast Members are not eligible to audition. EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney collapse info
African-American Female Vocalists For: Disney Cruise Line Audition City: New York, NY Location: Ripley Grier Studios Looking For: Singers	December 03, 2009 04:00 PM Time zone: Eastern Time (US & Canada)
Disney Cruise Line® is seeking talented and versatile African-American female performers for Mainstage productions on their luxury cruise liner, the Disney Wonder®, sailing the Caribbean and Bahamas. Repertory casting for up to four musical theatre style shows, including “Toy Story the Musical” and the award winning “Disney Dreams”. Contracts begin in February 2010 and run for approximately 7 months with minimum weekly pay rate of $750 (negotiable depending on role), room and board and some guest sailing privileges. All performers must be able to move well. Audition Location: Ripley Grier Studios 520 8th Ave. - suite 16 New York, NY Photo ID is required to enter the building. Sign-in: 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM Seeking the following roles: African American Female vocalist: (30's) Gospel singer, has the ability to 'bring down the house'. Movement a plus. Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age. Please prepare 16 bars of a contemporary musical theatre selection showing great personality; an accompanist will be provided. Be prepared to learn a simple movement combination. Please bring a current headshot and resume. Current Walt Disney World Resort Cast Members are not eligible to audition. EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney collapse info
Disney Parade and Show Performers and Disney Character Performers For: Walt Disney World Audition City: Orlando, FL Location: Disney's Animal Kingdom Rehearsal Facility Looking For: Puppeteers, Face Characters, Atmosphere Characters, and Parade Performers	December 03, 2009 04:00 PM Time zone: Eastern Time (US & Canada)
Disney Auditions is seeking male and female performers to bring to life the world famous Disney Characters and to create magic in our shows and parades at the Walt Disney World® Resort in Orlando, FL. We are currently recruiting candidates only for the following roles: Show and Parade Movers: Movers should have some experience with dance. These performers help bring to life shows such as Festival of the Lion King, Block Party Bash, High School Musical 3: Right Here, Right Now! and many more! Especially seeking male movers. Female Princess Look-alikes between 4'10" and 5'8" tall for roles including: Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel, The Disney Fairies and our newest addition, Princess Tiana. Fully-costumed meet and greet performers between 4'10" and 5'1" tall. Candidates who do not meet these qualifications should continue to monitor DisneyAuditions.com for future audition dates. This site will be updated should future opportunities become available. Audition Location: Disney's Animal Kingdom Rehearsal Facility 3271 Sherberth Rd Kissimmee, FL 34747 View Map Sign in: 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM - Do not arrive earlier than 3:00 PM to sign in as the building will be locked. Applicants arriving after 4:00 PM will not be accepted. Please note that this is a closed audition; friends and family are not allowed in the room during auditions. This audition may take up to several hours to complete, so please make appropriate travel plans. Requirements: Applicants must be at least 16 and authorized to work in the United States. All applicants will be taught a movement routine. Please wear comfortable clothes and shoes. No sandals or flip-flops. Applicants who have auditioned in the past six months are not eligible to audition. Open to current WDW College Program Cast Members. Current Walt Disney World Resort Character Cast Members are not eligible to audition. EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - © Disney collapse info
Female Dancers who Resemble Ariel For: Hong Kong Disneyland Audition City: Melbourne, Australia Location: Dance Factory Looking For: Dancers	December 05, 2009 10:00 AM Time zone: Melbourne
Hong Kong Disneyland is seeking Female Dancers who resemble the character Ariel from the Disney movie, The Little Mermaid, and who are ready for a life-enriching experience in one of the world's most exciting and exotic locales. Excellent benefits include roundtrip airfare, individual housing with paid utilities, shuttle service to and from work, medical and dental coverage, paid vacations and sick days, plus a competitive salary, a daily living allowance and the Magic of Disney! Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age and willing to relocate to Hong Kong for the duration of their contract. Six month contracts begin Spring 2010. Dancers should have a well-rounded background in jazz and ballet. Tumbling and gymnastic ability is a plus but not required. Audition Location: Dance Factory 4-10 Yorkshire Street, Richmond, VIC 3121 Contact number: 394 299 492 Sign In Time: 9:30am Audition Time:10:00am EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney For more information, please e-mail us at: auditions@hongkongdisneyland.com collapse info
Female Face Characters For: Hong Kong Disneyland Audition City: Melbourne, Australia Location: Dance Factory Looking For: Face Characters	December 05, 2009 12:00 PM Time zone: Melbourne
Hong Kong Disneyland® is seeking Female Disney Character Look-alike performers ready for a life-enriching experience in one of the world's most exciting and exotic locales. Excellent benefits include roundtrip airfare, individual housing with paid utilities, shuttle service to and from work, medical and dental coverage, paid vacations and sick days, plus a competetive salary, a daily living allowance and the Magic of Disney! Female performers are needed to portray beloved Disney heroines, 5'2" - 5'7". We will be seeking females only for the following roles: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, Ariel and Alice in Wonderland. There are no male roles available. Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age and willing to relocate to Hong Kong for the duration of their contract. Please wear comfortable attire for a possible movement routine. Six month contracts begin Spring 2010. Audition Location: Dance Factory 4-10 Yorkshire Street, Richmond, VIC 3121 Contact number: 394 299 492 Sign In Time: 1:00pm Audition Time: 2:00pm EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney For more information, please e-mail us at: auditions@hongkongdisneyland.com collapse info
Male and Female Dancers who Sing For: Disney Cruise Line Audition City: N. Hollywod, CA Location: Debbie Reynolds Studios Looking For: Dancers	December 07, 2009 02:00 PM Time zone: Pacific Time (US & Canada)
Disney Cruise Line® is seeking talented and versatile dancers for Mainstage productions on their luxury cruise liner, the Disney Wonder®, sailing the Caribbean and Bahamas. Repertory casting for up to four musical theatre style shows, including “Toy Story the Musical” and the award winning “Disney Dreams”. Contracts begin in February 2010 and run for approximately 7 months with minimum weekly pay rate of $750 (negotiable depending on role), room and board and some guest sailing privileges. All performers must be able to move well. Audition Location: Debbie Reynolds Studios 6514 Lankershim Blvd. N. Hollywood, CA 91606 View Map Sign-in begins at 1:30 pm. Same-day invitational callbacks. Seeking the following roles: MALE DANCERS: 5’10” and above, versatile dancing required, tumbling a plus. One dancer must portray “Tarzan”. FEMALE DANCERS: 5’3” – 5’7”. MALE & FEMALE SWINGS: will cover both dancer and principal vocalist roles Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age. Please prepare 16 bars of your best vocal selection to sing a cappella. Please be warmed up and ready to begin at the time listed. Please wear form fitting attire to show your silhouette. Please provide a current headshot and resume. Current Walt Disney World Resort Cast Members are not eligible to audition. EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney collapse info
Male and Female Vocalists For: Disney Cruise Line Audition City: N. Hollywood, CA Location: Debbie Reynolds Studios Looking For: Singers	December 08, 2009 10:00 AM Time zone: Pacific Time (US & Canada)
Disney Cruise Line® is seeking talented and versatile vocalists for Mainstage productions on their luxury cruise liner, the Disney Wonder®, sailing the Caribbean and Bahamas. Repertory casting for up to four musical theatre style shows, including “Toy Story the Musical” and the award winning “Disney Dreams”. Contracts begin in February 2010 and run for approximately 7 months with minimum weekly pay rate of $750 (negotiable depending on role), room and board and some guest sailing privileges. All performers must be able to move well. Audition Location: Debbie Reynolds Studios 6514 Lankershim Blvd. N. Hollywood, CA 91606 View Map Sign-in begins at 9:30 am. Same-day invitational callbacks. Seeking the following roles: BUZZ : 5’11” or shorter, 30’s–early 40s, charismatic actor with comedic timing, a policeman who believes in his mission to save the universe, he lives to be the one to save the day, lacks any self-irony, Baritone to G. WOODY: 6’0” and above, 20’s– 30’s, young character actor, the very likable Sheriff in the small town, everybody’s best friend, a natural leader, must move and sing well, Tenor to B flat. SID : female to play a boy, 20’s–early 30’s, strong actor with a thin build, tomboy with a great imagination, the biggest bully on the block, enjoys destroying toys, (Beavis at a younger age), powerful, rock belt. PETER PAN: 5’5”-5’7”, youthful, Tenor to G, strong mover, understudies Quasimodo QUASIMODO: 5’5”-5’7”, youthful, strong vocalist, Tenor to G, understudies Peter Pan AFRICAN AMERICAN FEMALE VOCALIST: 30's, Gospel singer, has the ability to 'bring down the house', movement a plus. DISNEY PRINCESSES & HEROINES (Ariel, Aurora, Belle, Cinderella, Snow White, Blue Fairy and Pocahontas): 5’4”-5’8”, strong vocalists, poised and graceful, Alto to Soprano dependent on role. PRINCE CHARMING: 5’10” and above, handsome male actor who sings well, Baritone to G. Requirements: Performers must be at least 18 years of age. Please prepare 16 bars of a contemporary musical theatre selection showing great personality; an accompanist will be provided. Please provide a current headshot and resume. Please be prepared to learn a simple movement combination. Current Walt Disney World Resort Cast Members are not eligible to audition. EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney collapse info
Character Performers For: Hong Kong Disneyland Audition City: Hong Kong, Hong Kong Location: Hong Kong Academy of Performing Arts Looking For: Atmosphere Characters	December 13, 2009 09:30 AM Time zone: Hong Kong
For more information, please contact us at: auditions@hongkongdisneyland.com collapse info
Parade Performers with Dancing Skills For: Disneyland Resort Audition City: Anaheim, CA Location: Disneyland Resort Looking For: Parade Performers	December 13, 2009 10:00 AM Time zone: Pacific Time (US & Canada)
Disney Entertainment Productions is seeking male and female performers with strong dancing skills for *High School Musical 3: Senior Year – Right Here! Right Now!* and *Pixar Play Parade, two exciting and high-energy street shows which wind their way through the heart of Disney’s California Adventure® Park. Requirements:* Applicants must be at least 18 years of age Wear non-restrictive clothing; tennis or dance shoes are required Current Disneyland® Resort Cast Members should bring a completed and approved transfer application New applicants are encouraged to complete a job application prior to the audition date by visiting the Casting Center at Team Disney Anaheim or by going to www.disneyland.jobs and clicking on "Apply" on the left-hand sidebar Location: Disneyland Resort – Team Disney Anaheim 700 W. Ball Rd. Anaheim, CA 92802 View Map Park in the Team Disney parking structure off Ball Road and Cast Place, and proceed to the Security area. Bring a picture ID to be admitted backstage. collapse info
Male and Female Dancers For: Hong Kong Disneyland Audition City: Hong Kong, Hong Kong Location: Hong Kong Disneyland Looking For: Dancers	December 13, 2009 01:00 PM Time zone: Hong Kong
Hong Kong Disneyland is auditioning for professional dancers to perform in large stage shows, or to support their dynamic parade cast. Requirements: Applicants must be at least 18 and willing to relocate to Hong Kong for the length of their contract. Dancers should be strong in ballet and jazz; some roles require tap or tumbling. All shows require strong dance technique and dynamic performance ability. Please wear appropriate dance attire/shoes and be warmed up and ready to begin at the time listed. Please provide a current headshot and resume. EOE - Drawing Creativity from Diversity - ©Disney For more information, please contact us at: auditions@hongkongdisneyland.com collapse info
Jedi Training Academy - Darth Vader For: Disneyland Resort Audition City: Anaheim, CA Location: Disneyland Resort Looking For: Face Characters	December 16, 2009 04:30 PM Time zone: Pacific Time (US & Canada)
Seeking energetic performers to portray Darth Vader™ in *Jedi Training Academy, an outdoor stage show performed inside Disneyland® Park. Role(s):* Darth Vader: Male, 6’4”+ with an athletic build and strong movement skills; sword training a plus Requirements: Applicants must be at least 18 years of age Wear non-restrictive clothing; tennis/dance shoes are required; NO COSTUMES PLEASE Current Disneyland® Resort Cast Members should bring a completed and approved transfer application New applicants are encouraged to complete a job application prior to the audition date by visiting the Casting Center at Team Disney Anaheim or by going to www.disneyland.jobs and clicking on "Apply" on the left-hand sidebar Location: Disneyland Resort – Team Disney Anaheim 700 W. Ball Rd. Anaheim, CA 92802 View Map Park in the Team Disney parking structure off Ball Road and Cast Place, and proceed to the Security area. Bring a picture ID to be admitted backstage. collapse info
Jedi Training Academy - Darth Maul For: Disneyland Resort Audition City: Anaheim, CA Location: Disneyland Resort Looking For: Face Characters	December 16, 2009 06:00 PM Time zone: Pacific Time (US & Canada)
Seeking energetic performers to portray Darth Maul™ in *Jedi Training Academy, an outdoor stage show performed inside Disneyland® Park. Role(s):* Darth Maul: Male, 5’8”–5’10” with an athletic build and strong movement skills; staff/bow training a plus Requirements: Applicants must be at least 18 years of age Wear non-restrictive clothing; tennis/dance shoes are required; NO COSTUMES PLEASE Current Disneyland® Resort Cast Members should bring a completed and approved transfer application New applicants are encouraged to complete a job application prior to the audition date by visiting the Casting Center at Team Disney Anaheim or by going to www.disneyland.jobs and clicking on "Apply" on the left-hand sidebar Location: Disneyland Resort – Team Disney Anaheim 700 W. Ball Rd. Anaheim, CA 92802 View Map Park in the Team Disney parking structure off Ball Road and Cast Place, and proceed to the Security area. Bring a picture ID to be admitted backstage. collapse info
Disney Parade and Show Performers and Disney Character Performers For: Walt Disney World Audition City: Orlando, FL Location: Disney's Animal Kingdom Rehearsal Facility Looking For: Puppeteers, Face Characters, Atmosphere Characters, and Parade Performers	December 17, 2009 04:00 PM Time zone: Eastern Time (US & Canada)

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More info & how to apply...

Our on-stage performers are only a small portion of the wonderfully talented group of Cast Members who bring the magic of Disney Entertainment to life.

You'll find more information on how to apply for these roles at one of the following sites:

Disneyland Resort in California (part of disneycareers.com)
Walt Disney World Resort in Florida (part of disneycareers.com)
Disney Cruise Line (contact a casting agent by selecting your region on the map)
Hong Kong Disneyland
Disneyland Paris [français]
Tokyo Disney Resort (coming soon)

Stage Management

Our Stage Managers are integral to the operation of our shows, parades, and events. With knowledge in a wide variety of stagecraft disciplines, a Disney Stage Manager is the central hub of communication for each production.

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Technical Services

We produce shows in an unbelievable variety of venues. From parades and street shows, to full Broadway style theater productions, to small atmosphere acts, our technical services group is responsible for all audio, lighting, and staging in our productions... no matter the venue.

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Costuming

Every performer in every show must look the part. Disney Entertainment Costuming designs, develops, and maintains the look of our Cast Members.

From hair and make-up for our Princesses, to the thousands of unique costumes our Cast Members wear. Our Costuming team helps us to tell the immersive story our Guests have come to expect.

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Scenic Design & Fabrication

Every prop, set piece, and float in any of our Disney shows or parades is skillfully crafted and decorated by our Scenic Design & Fabrication group. This is the team of highly skilled Cast Members who turn the concept drawings and specifications from our Creative Development folks into real life objects for our Guests to enjoy.

Assembled from a wide range of disciplines including sculptors, painters, set fabricators, and many more... this team brings life to the environments that convey a sense of place and theme to our productions.

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Show Support Services

As you might imagine, supporting the hundreds of shows executed at Disney parks each day is a huge challenge. Our Show Support Services groups move people, costumes, instruments, scenery, props, and all manner of related items all over our resorts. Their coordinated efforts to support all the Disney shows and events is a logistical masterpiece.

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Pyrotechnics

Disney is a recognized pyrotechnic industry leader and the world's largest producer of fireworks shows. It takes a large team of highly trained and certified pyro-technicians to execute our many unique shows around the world.

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Creative Development

None of our productions would happen were it not for the creative vision of our producers, directors, artists, designers, writers, choreographers, and all the other dedicated Cast Members who contribute their energy to a production before the first on-stage role is cast.

http://jobsearch.about.com/gi/o.htm?zi=1/XJ&zTi=1&sdn=jobsearch&cdn=careers&tm=17&f=11&su=p284.9.336.ip_p554.12.336.ip_&tt=11&bt=1&bts=1&zu=http%3A//corporate.disney.go.com/careers/auditions.html

“If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember that this whole thing was started with a dream and a mouse.”

Walt Disney quote

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* Fine- here's a Hooters job for you too!

Hooters Restaurants Now Accepting Applications for Hooters Girls! (1858 Jonesboro Road, McDonough)

Date: 2009-11-06, 12:46PM EST Reply to: see below

Do you have what it takes? Whoever said you can't get paid for something you love, never worked for Hooters. We are now accepting applications for our World Famous Hooters Girls for part-time and full-time positions, no prior serving experience required; bilingual a plus! Enjoy the benefits of: - Tuition Reimbursement - Great Tips (averaging 40% more than other restaurants) - Awesome Sales Incentives & Contests (free trips, merchandise, gift cards & more!) - International Openings & Travel Opportunities - Promotional Modeling Opportunities - Flexible Hours Apply IN PERSON today at our Hooters of McDonough location and mention you saw this ad on Craigslist. No online resumes will be accepted. MUST be 21 years of age at time of application. Go to www.hooters.com/hootersgirl for more information on the exciting opportunities of being a Hooters Girl!

Location: 1858 Jonesboro Road, McDonough
Compensation: Hourly Wage + Gratuity
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

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More info & how to apply...

Stage Management

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Scenic Design & Fabrication

Show Support Services

Pyrotechnics

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Hooters Restaurants Now Accepting Applications for Hooters Girls! (1858 Jonesboro Road, McDonough)

Finding Fing Mel Gibson a Fing Job!