"Those who can't do, teach...

Or they write a book and become experts.

Like moi. I wrote and published a book- "Thank You for Firing Me! How to Catch the Next Wave of Success After Your Lose Your Job." It's about how you can find a career that you love. It's done pretty well, but I am certainly not getting rich. The book did garner rave reviews in TIME and I went on national TV (Fox...BetterTV), Librarians loved it and I have a column on how to find a gig. (The San Diego Reader. )

The trouble is- I can't find a job!

Oh sure, I still freelance...been doing it forever, but I'm tired of begging for payment or being asked to write for $5 bucks an article or even worse- for free. (Seriously, I have written/placed more than 5000 articles for the NY Times and other big-time...and small time publications and organizations. I don't do free!)

So in December of 2011 I started applying for real, honest-to-God jobs. With bi-weekly paychecks and health benefits and paid vacations.  I WANT to put on real clothes each day- yoga pants and a bra is not office attire- and I want to hang out with my co-workers and gossip and complain about the boss/client.

But no one wants me!

Seriously! To date I have applied for 164 jobs for which I am completely qualified.

I have been interviewed 24 times on the phone. I have been interviewed in-person five times. You do the math. (I can't, I'm a writer.)

I have been offered zero jobs.

I'm not sure if it's because I am too friendly or too pretty/unattractive/thin/busty or my hair is too curly.  I don't swear and I listen and smile and practice all the hard questions.  I use deodorant, I dress the part- HEY, I wrote a book about this stuff, I know what to do!

Sigh...at least I still have a sense of humor...or do I? (I tend to laugh at my own jokes...maybe THAT'S the problem.)

Starting today I am going to change up the blog a little and start writing about some of the interviews I've experianced and the people I've met. Hopefully this will keep me from going back to waitressing (love the job but my feet/back do not!) or going insane. I also hope it will help others find inspiration and hope...and maybe a laugh or two.

Stay tuned...I've got some good ones!

Librarians (and their Jobs) Are HOT!

"I love you madly, madly, Madam Librarian...Marian
It's a long lost cause I can never win
For the civilized world accepts as unforgivable sin
Any talking out loud with any librarian
Such as Marian.....Madam Librarian."



OK, so those lyrics are from a song from the musical, "The Music Man" written about 190 years years ago, but seriously, the Librarian was played by Shirley Jones...you know, the mom on the Partridge Family...HOT!!!! (I know, the male lead was gay, but even, he was hot for the Librarian!)

So let's ask ourselves, WHY  are Librarians always cast as the smart hotties? Could it be that only they know the secrets of the Dewey Decimal System?  Sure. We’ve all got our preconceived notions about who Librarians are and what they do.  Many people think of Librarians as boring worker bees, shelving and “Shhh-ing” people. But hold the phone! Librarians have degrees.  They go to graduate school for Library and Information Science and become masters of data systems and Human-Computer Interaction.  Librarians can catalog anything--  They could catalog you.  Librarians wield universal powers. People become Librarians because they're too smart to go into politics.  Librarians are all-knowing and all-seeing.  They bring order to chaos.  They bring wisdom and culture to the masses and they protect the First Amendment like it was their baby.  Librarians rule. And no matter what their age- they..are..hot!

Sorry, I got  little carried away there, but so should you. Here's the deal; if you're smarter than say, EVERYONE, you too should be a librarian. Or maybe you already have that library degree and your budget was cut and your city was stupid enough to put you on the "Hold" shelf. So, because you taught us all how to read, we have some awesome jobs for you dear Librarian. And don't worry, you can never be replaced by a computer because you are...the original search engine.

Executive Director
Brooklyn Public Library, Brooklyn, New York

http://joblist.ala.org/modules/jobseeker/Executive-Director/15741.cfm

Digital Initiatives/Metadata Librarian
Portland State University, Portland, Oregon http://joblist.ala.org/modules/jobseeker/Digital-InitiativesMetadata-Librarian/15742.cfm Library Specialist Contra Costa County Library, Pleasant Hill, California  http://joblist.ala.org/modules/jobseeker/Library-Specialist/15753.cfm