"Those who can't do, teach...

Or they write a book and become experts.

Like moi. I wrote and published a book- "Thank You for Firing Me! How to Catch the Next Wave of Success After Your Lose Your Job." It's about how you can find a career that you love. It's done pretty well, but I am certainly not getting rich. The book did garner rave reviews in TIME and I went on national TV (Fox...BetterTV), Librarians loved it and I have a column on how to find a gig. (The San Diego Reader. )

The trouble is- I can't find a job!

Oh sure, I still freelance...been doing it forever, but I'm tired of begging for payment or being asked to write for $5 bucks an article or even worse- for free. (Seriously, I have written/placed more than 5000 articles for the NY Times and other big-time...and small time publications and organizations. I don't do free!)

So in December of 2011 I started applying for real, honest-to-God jobs. With bi-weekly paychecks and health benefits and paid vacations.  I WANT to put on real clothes each day- yoga pants and a bra is not office attire- and I want to hang out with my co-workers and gossip and complain about the boss/client.

But no one wants me!

Seriously! To date I have applied for 164 jobs for which I am completely qualified.

I have been interviewed 24 times on the phone. I have been interviewed in-person five times. You do the math. (I can't, I'm a writer.)

I have been offered zero jobs.

I'm not sure if it's because I am too friendly or too pretty/unattractive/thin/busty or my hair is too curly.  I don't swear and I listen and smile and practice all the hard questions.  I use deodorant, I dress the part- HEY, I wrote a book about this stuff, I know what to do!

Sigh...at least I still have a sense of humor...or do I? (I tend to laugh at my own jokes...maybe THAT'S the problem.)

Starting today I am going to change up the blog a little and start writing about some of the interviews I've experianced and the people I've met. Hopefully this will keep me from going back to waitressing (love the job but my feet/back do not!) or going insane. I also hope it will help others find inspiration and hope...and maybe a laugh or two.

Stay tuned...I've got some good ones!

Instant Cash- Nothing to Sneeze at... or is it?

So seriously- how are you feeling these days? Down-in-the-dumps because you can't find a job? A little dizzy because you're hungry? Got the sniffles because the gas company turned your heat off? Are your feet hurting because you're pounding the pavement everyday looking for employment?

GOOD!

That's right, we said Good! All these ailments can bring in the dough if you become a paid
volunteer in a clinical trial.

No joke! If you have bunions, an Orange County CA team will pay you up to 400 bucks for a chance to umm, well, we don't know but it's $400... and they're bunions!

Another clinical trial company will pay you cash to let them yank out your wisdom teeth, something you don't need anyway.

You don't actually have to have diabetes/asthma/hot flashes/penile erectile dysfunction or bad breath-but it would help.

There are studies all over the country listed here for the healthy and infirm. We have a friend who made $30,000 last year sleeping, drinking booze, being poked, probed and zapped. But he loved the jobs and he's probably writing a damn book which will be made into a feature film
staring Meryl Streep while we plod along dishing out advice. Sigh. ..will' ..not..be..bitter.
Anyway- here's a chance to make some money and possibly get healthy. If you can't quite bring yourself to be a guinea pig, go and sign out Grandpa from the 'home' and take him to the Alzheimer's clinical trial in Los Angeles. He'll get $2500 which he has no need for and won't
remember he got it AND you'll get an extra $50 just for sitting in the waiting room. Come on, he won't tell and he'll be happy if you buy him an ice cream on the way home.

Good luck- just don't let them actually turn you into a guinea pig; they
won't be paying you that much!

Craigslist and alternative newspapers are a great resource for clinical
trial volunteering. Her are a few from us to you!
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/etc/1515727716.html Bunion Trial
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/etc/1532265812.html Alzhiemers
http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/etc/1519672485.html Dallas
And the big one- http://clinicaltrials.gov/

PS- Don't use a service that charges YOU money..SCAMMERS!

Am I repeating Myself? Older Posts Cont....

The Media Elite Shit-canned—Maybe they can get a job with Fox News?
October 28, 2008 · Leave a Comment
Jezzuz, can it get any worse?

BREAKING: L.A. Times Announces 75 Editorial Job Cuts Today

EIC Russ Stanton delivered this good morning message to his troops today:

Colleagues, The growing economic downturn is forcing us to undergo another round of job reductions and cost cuts. I deeply regret to report that today, 75 of our friends, colleagues and capable staff members in Editorial will be told that they are losing their jobs. This is about 10% of our total staff and these cuts are comparable in scale to those made on the business side of The Times last week. The severance terms being offered to our colleagues are similar to those offered in the other reductions we’ve faced this year. I appreciate your patience, understanding and cooperation during this difficult period. Your department heads and the senior editing team, including John, Davan, Meredith and I, are available to hear your concerns and answer any questions. Russ Stanton
Editor
Los Angeles Times

Well then, that’s more great news in these happy times now, isn’t it? And yet Fox News seems to keep their reporters on…perhaps the Times should make some editorial changes? Other than cutting their paper in half….

Oh well, it’s all very sad, but again, we don’t want to beat a dead horse or anything—because really, who does?— but here is a partial list from US News & World Report today of important jobs that will stick around even if the world is on the verge of self-destructing and collapsing. Oh, wait, it is collapsing. So OK then, here’s the list;

Law enforcement: In tough times, the level of crime tends to increase. It happened in France, you know, the whole start of the revolution….that whole storming of the palace because people were damn hungry? (Read your history books!) So be a cop. They don’t seem to go hungry.

Vice industries: Sex tends to sell well in a depression, as does liquor… Bevmo is opening more stores throughout the West. People will always find money to buy booze, so rum- running could be in your future.

Repossession, foreclosure, and debt collection: When borrowers can’t pay back their loans on homes or cars or credit cards, someone has to collect and evict. If you’re a car person, there will be jobs repossessing giant SUVs from borrowers who took advantage of no-qualification loans even when they knew it was more than they could afford. Kind of a job for jerks, but hey, jerks need jobs too.

Clergy : People seek spiritual support in tough times. Hallelujah Brother!

Entertainment: During the Great Depression, the movie industry boomed as people craved escapism and had time to burn. That would very likely be the same today: The film, video game, sports, and creative arts industries should remain viable. Besides if you are an actor, odds are you are used to being unemployed.

And this one we added just because we used to be in the biz.

Funeral Director: The nation’s death rate of 8.1 per 1,000 people will climb to as high as 10.9 as Baby Boomers die off. Death—there’s money to be made there folks, so stop your tears and store away your Reporter’s Notebooks and AP Stylebook and check these industry’s out. Besides, you were tired of getting crap from people who always said, “The Media,” like you, oh I don’t know, stepped in a pile of dog crap or something.

Am I right???