Thank You For Firing Me!

Thank You For Firing Me!
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Saturday, July 17, 2010

Finding F***ing Mel Gibson a F***ing Job!

Well now Mr. Pottymouth, it looks like your anger is going to help you lose a 30-year career.
Mel Gibson, actor, director and producer, was recently dropped (Hollywood word for "Fired.") by his agent William Morris Endeavor Entertainment amid allegations that he assaulted and made death threats against his ex-girlfriend. This is so are not going to help in a new job search.

It looks like his new movie called, umm, 'Beaver,' is going to bomb and he has been quoted saying he has money problems.
("You're a f---ing mentally deprived idiot. You can't even f---ing figure it out, I'm paying the tax money instead of the credit card. Don't you get it?" he told his ex-lover.)

A a woman, I don't condone this behavior for one minute, but I am forgiving and always want to help people have second, third.... OK, I lost count, but I want to help people find a job. (It's a good thing that I'm not Russian, Jewish, African-American or Latino, because I might not be so forgiving.)

But on to finding Mad Max a new job.

I've got to admit, this one is going to take some soul searching. First off, Mel might not walk away with a good reference from his former employer- you know, the public- but there is hope.

 Mel's got some special skills.

While he probably wouldn't be a fit working in law enforcement, he does own a lot of guns.  Perhaps a job as a gunsmith or in firearm sales?

The actor who once stared in a movie called, "What Women Want," apparently doesn't know what women want, so any work in a woman's spa or salon is probably not a good career fit. But, since he's quick with his hands, how about finding a gig where he can spar for 8 hours a day?

And of course, everyone wants a job that they are passionate about,
So there you go- everyone deserves a job after they've screwed up and been fired- even a racist, sexist, narcissistic guy like Mel Gibson. And Mel, if none of these careers work out I have one final dream job that would be perfect for a swell guy like you:
  No need to call and thank me Mel. No really, DO NOT CALL ME!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Jobs Hot Enough to Melt Ice Caps

Do you want your job to do its part for the environment?

 Do you want a gig that can cool down even the biggest -of-shots? Are you touchy-feely and knead to have hands-on experience before you can accept any cash/paychecks?
Well, this is your lucky day!

According to the most recent report released by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, careers in the massage industry are in-demand. In fact, the report projects that the growth of massage therapist positions will increase by 19 percent through 2018.

Not bad for having to work on sweaty naked people. Or is it? Standing on your feet all day pounding-a-pound-of-flesh can be tiring. Sometimes your client can get the wrong idea..after all, they ARE naked.

But at the end of the day, working as a Massuse or Masseur (That's French you know. They have the best words.) for people thinking with their umm, heads, can be rewarding both monetarily and personally. That's what I hope for you all in this scary economy.
A happy ending.

Massage schools---

And because not everyone wants to go to college: