Thank You For Firing Me!

Thank You For Firing Me!
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Escorts Wanted!


We like to be topical in our search for jobs for you, so with all the talk about escorts in the news, we thought that this was a job that provided a service for those in need, and it seems like such a great service!

Escorts work with those who can't get it anywhere else. They become close to their clients, so close that clients might even give them small gifts. Many escorts can be asked to travel and you may be asked to work on call or late at night, and we feel it's a terrific and rewarding career.

What? Wait! No, not that type of escort. (Not that we judge!) We're anti- career experts, not pimps!

In case you didn't know about the other kind of escort here's the 411: There is a need for caring individuals to escort people to and from hospitals, nursing homes and even fancy universities and we've found some, er, positions open. Some hot jobs. Employment where you can really get up close and personal with your clients....

Okay, we'll stop. Good luck with the Escort job, although you might want to call it something else when you tell your parents you're finally employed. (If Tiger calls you hang up on him- he's married!)

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Johns Hopkins University

Job Title: Security Escort
Job Number: 1030724
Date Posted: 12/15/2009
Application Deadline: Open until filled

Job Description

General Description:
The Paul H. Nitze School of Advanced International Studies of the Johns Hopkins University is seeking an individual to operate a high-volume Security Escort van that provides daily service from 6:15 p.m to 12:15 a.m. (hours are reduced during the January intersession and summer months). This free service picks up and drops off students, faculty, and staff from SAIS within a one or two mile radius of the school. Security Escort needed to operate Escort Van, navigate designated routes, maintain ride schedule and ensure safety of passengers. Duties include: ? Operate a 14 passenger Security Escort Van. Maintain working knowledge of area around SAIS and have the ability to read street maps. Must be able to operate vehicle and navigate in all types of weather (rain, snow, storms, etc.). ? Maintain communication with Security Officer at the SAIS Front Desk. Reports to Security Officer after returning to SAIS of any problems/issues with passengers (disruptive behavior, drunkenness, illness, etc.) or any security concerns identified on route (suspicious activity, accidents, fights, etc.). ? Verify all riders have a valid Johns Hopkins ID upon entering the vehicle. Positively interact with all passengers and maintain decorum in the Security Escort Van. JHU offers a wide range of benefits to full-time employees including medical, dental, paid vacation and sick leave, pension, supplemental retirement, educational assistance for staff and eligible dependents. For more information, visit JHU benefits at http://www.benefits.jhu.edu/index.cfm. Qualifications:
Qualifications: High School Diploma/GED and valid driver?s license required. Three to five years driving experience with and good driving record required. Position requires dependability and commitment to work schedule. Must be able to sit for extended periods of time.

Job Type: Full Time
Contact:
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, MD
United States
Online Application: Apply for this position from Employer's website


When applying for this position, please mention you saw this ad on UniversityJobs.com.

Please also post your resume/CV in our resume database which is searched and viewed by many employers and recruiters. This is a free service to all job seekers.

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Job Snapshot
Location:
2901 216Th St
Bayside, NY 11360 (map it!Map it! )
Employee Type:
Full-Time
Industry:
Healthcare - Health Services
Manages Others:
No
Job Type:
Health Care
Education:
High School
Experience:
At least 1 year(s)
Travel:
Road Warrior
Post Date:
12/14/2009
Contact Information
Contact:
Doreen Sikoscow
Ref ID:
Driver/Escort
Fax:
Description

St. Mary’s Healthcare System for Children is one of the nation’s premier providers of intensive rehabilitation and specialized care for children with special needs and life-limiting conditions. The largest pediatric post-acute care provider of its kind in the region, St. Mary's treats 4,000 children each day through our hospital, Home Care and Community Programs in the five boroughs of New York City, Nassau, Suffolk, Westchester and beyond. Following hospitalizations for complications from premature birth, illness and injury, or when special services are needed, children and their families come to St. Mary's to receive exceptional care, learn to manage their condition, and achieve a better quality of life.

Full Time Van Driver/Escort

St. Mary's is currently seeking a Full Time Van Driver to accompany Home Care Staff to ensure delivery of home services to patients who reside in difficult to serve areas. This person will be responsible for the delivery of mail, supplies, patient items, etc to satellite offices. In addition, they will assist in clerical duties to include but not be limited to copying, faxing, sorting and filing patient records.

Please ask about our excellent benefit package and potential for overtime.

Requirements

Valid NYS Drivers License
Clean driving record

Knowledge of travel within the 5 boroughs a must
Able to work as a member of a team.

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Job Title: PATIENT ESCORT
Company Name: Betsy Johnson Regional Hospital
Employment Type: PRN
Location: DUNN, NC, United States
Department: Clinical Central Staffing
Salary: Highly Competitive
Shift/Hours: As needed
Shift Details: This position will support the full time positions covering callouts and vacations to include additional weekend coverage
Hours/Pay Period: 24
Degree Required: High School/GED
Job ID: 15031.2009.01140
Date Posted: Dec 15, 2009
Years Experience: 1
Job Category: Clinical Support
Location: Betsy Johnson Regional Hospital
Note: Please read the complete description below before applying for this job.
Complete Description

Services the entire hospital, providing safe, efficient and effective transportation of patients, medical equipment and/or supplies. Ensures patient is properly identified before transporting. Transports patients to and from clinical, ancillary and support areas via wheelchair, stretcher as requested to include transport of patients with oxygen tanks, intravenous pumps, drips and special equipment. Confirms method of transport and special needs. Ensures that all transports are carried out timely. Assist clinical personnel in transferring patients to and from beds, wheelchairs or stretcher as requested. Assist patients in and out of vehicles and escort or transport them to and from hospital lobby: carry luggage, open necessary doors. Assist in the loading and unloading of patients onto ambulances and vans. Collect specimens, orders, requisitions and equipment and deliver items to appropriate destinations. Assist in maintaining order and cleanliness in hospital lobby and entrance and may assist in room turnover. Assist nursing staff with removal of expired bodies from units. Ensures all transport equipment is clean and working properly. Participates in the training of new employees. Attend educational programs as directed.

Additional Information

Weekend and/or Holiday Rotation may be required.
Rotating Shifts may be required.

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And from Monster.com
Job Title: PATIENT ESCORT
Company Name: Betsy Johnson Regional Hospital
Employment Type: PRN
Location: DUNN, NC, United States
Department: Clinical Central Staffing
Salary: Highly Competitive
Shift/Hours: As needed
Shift Details: This position will support the full time positions covering callouts and vacations to include additional weekend coverage
Hours/Pay Period: 24
Degree Required: High School/GED
Job ID: 15031.2009.01140
Date Posted: Dec 15, 2009
Years Experience: 1
Job Category: Clinical Support
Location: Betsy Johnson Regional Hospital
Note: Please read the complete description below before applying for this job.
Complete Description

Services the entire hospital, providing safe, efficient and effective transportation of patients, medical equipment and/or supplies. Ensures patient is properly identified before transporting. Transports patients to and from clinical, ancillary and support areas via wheelchair, stretcher as requested to include transport of patients with oxygen tanks, intravenous pumps, drips and special equipment. Confirms method of transport and special needs. Ensures that all transports are carried out timely. Assist clinical personnel in transferring patients to and from beds, wheelchairs or stretcher as requested. Assist patients in and out of vehicles and escort or transport them to and from hospital lobby: carry luggage, open necessary doors. Assist in the loading and unloading of patients onto ambulances and vans. Collect specimens, orders, requisitions and equipment and deliver items to appropriate destinations. Assist in maintaining order and cleanliness in hospital lobby and entrance and may assist in room turnover. Assist nursing staff with removal of expired bodies from units. Ensures all transport equipment is clean and working properly. Participates in the training of new employees. Attend educational programs as directed.

Additional Information

Weekend and/or Holiday Rotation may be required.
Rotating Shifts may be required.

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And if you're still pouting over the job description, fine.

NIKKI'S ESCORTS Now Hiring - Dependable Escorts, all shifts. Earn cash daily 321-254-5623 We have NO IDEA what type of escorts Nikki is hiring, we can only guess, And we're not judging.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Funny Jobs 4 You!


We were going to go all, " White Collar" on you and advertise a bunch of Wall St jobs, but upon hearing that those money guys might just get ANOTHER bonus (FYI: people who have not received Christmas bonuses- The President, Kermit the Frog, Yours Truly.) we thought twice.

So, we thought that because they were getting said bonuses, it was almost funny. Or sad. OK Funny/Sad- which reminded us that comedians need jobs too.

We all need funny people and they need jobs! Unemployment is so, NOT funny!

We need humor and not everyone has the talent to make us laugh. And laughing, especially in these times, is important. Because really, when was the last time you walked out of movie because it was too damn funny?

Comedy needs to be take much more seriously. It has been reported that laughing may actually cure serious illnesses so these people, in our opinion, by all rights, should be paid as much as doctors! Are we right here?

So here's a joke and then we have jobs for the funny people. People who don't laugh at those who slip and fall, a pie in the face or former politicians who write books, need not apply. Those people should go back to working on Wall St-enjoy your bonus.
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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
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  • Address: 1503 Chartres St., Houston, TX 77003 (map)
  • Date Posted: 12/12/09
  • Job Type: Freelance;
Description

Are you a creative musician, singer, poet, comedian? Start to an investment, showcase and perform your talent in local Houston venues. We are in need of artist for the next Indie Artist Music Festival which is a regional cultured development of Artist of any form. We are hosting auditions and interviews, please respond to this posting, with the title in the subject line for more information. We encourage Artist who have established job related paraphernalia such as: demo cd’s and business cards, or any paraphernalia that indicates your commitment to your craft.

Ad ID: 1068289

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Next New Networks is calling for head shots/reels for New York area comedians, actors/bloggers with strong improv backgrounds. We're casting for 2 shows and need both males and females.

1) A semi-scripted satire of late night talk shows.

2) A talk show in the style of the View, but with a focus on the frivolous. Each week the show will discuss the latest pop culture trends from Twilight to the Balloon Boy. We're looking for comedians/funny people who will have strong opinions and are willing to fight to the death for Team Edward or Team Jacob. This is not for the faint of heart.
Pilots are being shot soon so get your head shots / reels in quickly !

Send in your resume/reel/ headshot to Rob@NextNewNetworks.com

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COMEDIANS READ THIS!! THE COMEDY STORE NEEDS YOU FOR FRI NIGHT SHOWS ! (Hollywood (World Famous Comedy Store))


Date: 2009-11-23, 3:29PM PST
Reply to: job-qebbb-1479554581@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Showcase your stand up comedy talent and perform in a show at The Comedy Store
on the red hot sizzling Sunset Strip on the best night of the week!

FRIDAY NIGHTS!

The Long Running Hit Comedy Show, "FUNNY FRIDAYS" show now in it's 4th
year at THE WORLD FAMOUS COMEDY STORE is looking for new comics !!

In the "Belly Room" where Whoopi Goldberg, Jim Carey, Roseanne & Sam Kinison
honed their talent.

Get your fans, agents, managers, producers, directors, casting
directors, friends and family to come see you PERFORM YOUR STANDUP
COMEDY with well known comics froms MADtv, Comedy Central, Last Comic
Standing, Showtime, Def Comedy Jam, PDiddy's Bad Boys of Comedy and HBO
and at the same time meet people in the comedy biz and open doors to
showcase your talent.

We have drop-ins from INDUSTRY come in recently to check out
our show to see comics such as the following:

- Agent(s) from ICM
- Talent scout from the Jimmy Kimmel Show
- A casting director from Liberman Patton that casts 5 TV shows and
cast one of our comics on the TV show: 'Medium'

We're bookng talented male and female comics now !!!
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WE ARE CURRENTLY BOOKING COMEDIANS FOR THE FOLLOWING FRIDAY DATES:
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Nov 09 - 27th - "BLACK FRIDAY" THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN BOOKING THIS SHOW PLEASE DO SO ASAP AS IT'S FILLING UP QUICKLY...WHAT A BETTER TIME TO HAVE YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES THAT ARE IN FOR THE HOLIDAYS COME AND SEE YOU PERFORM!!!
Dec 09 - 4th
Dec 09 - 11th
Dec 09 - 18th
Jan 10 - 8th
Jan 10 - 15th
Jan 10 - 22th
Jan 10 - 29th
-------------------

TO GET BOOKED PLEASE SEND AN EMAIL TO: FUNNIFRIDAYS@AOL.COM

WITH YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION AND WEBSITE OR MYSPACE LINK IF YOU HAVE IT.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------

TV Comedy Writer Needed

Company :National Daily Television Show
Location :California>Los Angeles
Category :Writer>Other

Position :Full Time
Experience :0-2 Yrs Entry Level
Salary :unspecified

National Daily Television Show is looking for Comedy Writers with at least 4-6 years of television writing experience. Applicants should be pop culture junkies who can appreciate the comedic sensibilities of current popular talk show hosts. Think you are the right person for the job? Send a cover letter and resume to SendUsARe***join for full access***














Thursday, December 10, 2009

Dude- Where's My Green Job?


We've just about had enough of this discussion about whether global warming is real or not!

Seriously, it doesn't matter to us if you believe the polar bears are just sissies for whining about their melting ice caps or you believe those guys that are yelling that the earth is naturally heating up because God wants us all to wear Bermuda shorts in winter- we don't care! Bottom line; you want a job or NOT? Okay then, let's move forward and keep an open mind!

As we wrote in our book (Thank You for Firing Me!) Green Jobs are not imaginary or impossible to find. There’s a great website with a directory of more than 3,000 green companies and hundreds of case studies on emerging green technology products and solutions: So step one: turn off the teevee and start reading about this stuff and stop listening to the mean people! http://www.greencollareconomy.com/


One of our personal Green Heroes is Van Jones- yeah, yeah, one of the ex- czars- get over it. Jones recently said to the Washington Post that it isn't easy to convince an "unemployed construction worker that it's time to start thinking about installing solar panels instead of aluminum siding"

Maybe if you offer the construction worker a six-pack of beer to go green he might have more of an incentive?

So here's the deal. The Feds have put in place a number of provisions and laws to create opportunity but people need to be educated about the fact that there are jobs out there. That won’t happen overnight, but we're doing our part.

This green movement only makes sense if the talent to fill the jobs is right here in this country, and there’s a real need for skilled craftsmen and workers in the green collar arena.

So get over your aversion to the color of green because hello! It's also the color of money!!!
Just because we love you we thought we would get you going with a couple of green jobs and websites to help you get back to work and make your Fox News- watching- friends green with envy!
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Solar Sales Specialist

SouthCoast Energy


San Diego, CA

Categories:
Sales & Marketing

Skill Level: Entry level

Position Type: Full Time

We, SouthCoast Energy, offer an opportunity of more than just a job and very high pay potential, do something positive for your community and planet. Begin a career in the nation's fastest growing Solar Power company.

We are a full service, licensed C-10 contracting company that specializes in photovoltaic (PV) solar panel systems and Electical bidding for homes, businesses, agriculture, farm winery and commercial customers. Our company is committed to providing the highest quality products, services, and installations for our customers at a competitive price through a total commitment to the highest standards of quality, reliability and dependability.

Responsibilities:

  1. Responsible to generate sales of PV Systems to residential and commercial customers (Training Provided)
  2. Site analysis (Training Provided)
  3. Analysis of client's electrical usage (Training Provided)
  4. Presentation of proposal (Training Provided)
  5. Scheduling of job (Training Provided)

Qualifications:

Solar experience a must.

Compensation: commission only for probation period. Benefit + commission when qualified.

We are looking forward to a long-term relationship together in this exciting growing industry. Join Us.

To Apply:

Please forward your resume and salary history.

When you apply for this position, please say you saw this job on Green Dream Jobs!!

Contact Information:
866-987-6272 X 4 (phone)
858-831-0004 (fax)
info@southcoastenergy.com

http://www.southcoastenergy.com

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Zero Waste Projects Manager

San Francisco Conservation Corps (San Francisco, California)

Posted:
November 25, 2009
Address:
San Francisco, CA 94124
Occu:
Environmental Programs & Policy
Type:
Full-time, Permanent
Description:
Zero Waste Projects Manager

GREAT OPPORTUNITY for a MOTIVATED Event Recycling and Waste Reduction Visionary

The San Francisco Conservation Corps is looking for a dedicated recycler to lead our special event recycling projects in the role of Zero Waste Projects Manager. This is a unique opportunity to not only focus on event greening and Zero Waste goals, but to also inspire young adults ages 18-26 as they increase their environmental knowledge and waste reduction skills. This is your chance to be an active part of the Corpsmember experience as they participate in the SFCC's job training and education program.

As a member or the SFCC you will earn great pay, work in a challenging environment and know that your efforts are truly making a difference in the lives of young adults. The salary range is $45,615 to $48,407 per year DOE with excellent benefits including medical and dental.

Please refer to the SFCC’s Web site for a detailed job description and information on how to apply (http://www.sfcc.org/staff_zero_waste_projects_manager.html).
Salary:
$45,615 to $48,407 DOE
Apply by
Email:
personnel@sfcc.org
Website:
http://www.sfcc.org/staff_zero_waste_projects_manager.html
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Posted Dec 08
Sales Associate

Distant Village Packaging is an exciting and rapidly growing international company specializing in the custom hand-made packaging for specialty businesses. Distant Village Packaging focuses on eco-friendly and sustainable development and is a passionate contributor toward the betterment of the local communities and people we work with.

We are actively seeking the right candidate to join our team as a full-time Sales Associate at our office and showroom in Chicago. We offer a friendly and supportive working environment in which you will be challenged, valued, and encouraged to grow with our company.

To the qualified applicant we offer:
• Flexible work schedule
• Opportunity to gain valuable experience, including on-the-job training
• Fun work environment!

Responsibilities include:
• Follow up with prospects by email and phone in order to increase sales
• Generate new leads
• Maintain all client and prospect information in CRM database
• Sales Associate’s performance will be measured by leads generated, prospect inquiries for product information, and sales revenue contribution

Requirements:
• Sales experience
• Excellent communication skills, written and verbal
• Ability to attend trade shows 4-8 times per year
• Positive, energetic phone presence
• Self-starter with ability to work independently
• Ability to self-manage is a must!
• Articulate and capable of communicating with business owners and executives
• Microsoft Office: Word, Excel, PowerPoint
• Customer Relationship Management Software experience, Familiarity with Zoho (desired)
• Customer focused service attitude
• Fun personality and desire to grow with our business!!!

For immediate consideration please send resume and cover letter to jobs@distantvillage.com, with subject Sales Associate.



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Outdoor Education Instructor

Montana Yellowstone Expeditions


Emigrant, MT

Categories:
Education

Skill Level: Entry level

Position Type: Full Time

Montana Yellowstone Expeditions (MYE) creates summer youth programs in Southern Montana that provide programming and full scholarships for underserved youth ages 15-18 from California, Montana, New York and elsewhere. Each program is a multi-element experience that combines wilderness backpacking, a river trip, service learning and projects, equestrian training, leadership, and personal and group development into an effective 25-day experiential learning experience.

Upon completion of the MYE summer program, alumni are engaged in our Life Skills follow-up program that builds on new skills, and provides connections and resources for becoming who they want to be and taking their initial steps in the adult world.

MYE operates from a basecamp in the Tom Miner basin area of Montana's Paradise Valley, 30 minutes south of Livingston, MT, and 20 minutes north of Yellowstone National Park. MYE programs take place in and around YNP, on the Yellowstone River, and in the communities of southern Montana.

MYE is a challenging and rewarding place to work. We offer the opportunity to help craft and deliver programs that make a true and lasting impact on participants and staff alike. Each member of the staff plays an integral role in MYE's daily operations. We are all in it together and support each other to provide exceptional quality programming.

Working at MYE requires flexibility, ingenuity, commitment, and a desire to make a difference. Our staff members are encouraged to accept new challenges, step outside their comfort zone, and take advantage of all that MYE has to offer. Our goal is to create an environment of professional growth and learning for all staff. We will give you our very best and require the same in return.

The summer season consists of six 25-day multi-element wilderness programs, and three alumni programs - two 25-day Leadership Labs and a summer Intern Program. Staff to participant ratio is 5:1.

Montana Yellowstone Expeditions has the following opening for the 2010 summer season:

Position Overview:

The Instructing Staff at MYE are our best asset. You are where the experience, impact and success of our programs are crafted and delivered. MYE expects a tremendous level of commitment, professionalism, creativity and judgment from our Instructors, and we support you with resources, training, materials, and an unfailingly positive environment in which to do your best.

Working in pairs, Instructors are responsible for a group of 10 students in all aspects of their summer program.

Start Date: June 5th, 2010 (to be confirmed)
End Date: August 17th, 2010 (to be confirmed)
Timing reflects working two 25-day programs, approx 60 days of total work, including 9 days of paid staff training at the beginning of the season. There is a 4-7 day mid-season break, depending on scheduling. We are looking for full season commitments and positions are open until filled.

Reports to: MYE Program Director (PD)

Responsibilities:

Primary:

Instructors are primarily responsible for all aspects of the daily experience, well-being and management of students. Including, but not limited to:

  • Working closely with co-instructor to produce a safe, high quality ‘MYE' experience for students under their care
  • Curriculum development and teaching
  • Expedition planning, management and leadership
  • Safety and risk management oversight and responsibility
  • Logistical management of a group, including food and equipment preparation
  • Coordination with MYE staff and other groups
  • Evening and night supervision of students on expeditions and in basecamp
  • To safely transport students in the field, this will, at times, involve towing a trailer
  • To operate within MYE policies and be mindful of MYE guidelines and operating procedures
  • To ensure MYE equipment is used appropriately and returned in good condition at the end of each field component
  • Administrative tasks associated with program, reporting, evaluations and photo library

Secondary:

In addition to the above, Instructors may be responsible for:

  • Intern supervision and training
  • Supporting other MYE programs
  • Serving as support staff as coordinated by MYE
  • Assisting with the general operation of MYE
  • Contributing to the ongoing development and evolution of the MYE program
  • To actively seek opportunities for professional development during MYE season
  • To assist in Search and Rescue/Emergency operations as required by PD or Executive Director
Qualifications:
  • Must be 21 years or older (insurance requirement) with a clear driving record (experience driving large vehicles and towing trailers would be an advantage)
  • 3+ years relevant work experience, including guiding novices in extended wilderness settings
  • Experience instructing/guiding white water sports (canoeing preferred but all white water experience considered), rock climbing instruction (minimum experience - student belay supervision) and leading multi-day hiking trips (off trail experience and/or snow travel/camping an advantage)
  • Experience supervising service learning, low ropes course / ABL elements would be an advantage
  • High energy, positive attitude, ability and willingness to work long hours and multiple days in succession
  • Flexible and adaptable to the changing demands of conducting wilderness-based programming
  • Current WEMT or WFR and CPR certifications, or international equivalent.

Compensation: Per diem, DOE; Meals and lodging at MYE facilities for the entire season;

To Apply:

Please email your resume/CV (including a summary of your professional and personal outdoor experience) to MYE Program Director, Ellen Sagmyr. She will respond within 3 days to arrange an initial conversation and/or forward an employment application.

When you apply for this position, please say you saw this job on Green Dream Jobs!!

Contact Information:
Ellen Sagmyr
ellen@myeconnect.org

http://www.myeconnect.org/

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Some great green jobs sites: (You're welcome!)

http://www.greencollarblog.org/


http://www.greencollarblog.org/

http://www.presidioedu.org/

Monday, December 7, 2009

Jobs for Tiger and You


Sometimes when you love your job and it defines your life things can go terribly wrong. Take Tiger Woods- well we've never taken him, but apparently many others have.

The guy is the best golfer in the world, which is his job, but he can be a bit testy and full of himself. (one of us has interviewed him- trust us, he's not Mr. Warmth to the press.) Seriously, we don't know if we would even invite him to the annual holiday office party.

Over the course of his career his co-workers have probably become a little tired of him winning all the trophies, big paydays and bonuses and getting all the attention--- and golf groupies--- and we doubt that they're crying into their beers over the 'allegations' of his 'alleged' 73 mistresses and his wife's claim that he was a tad tipsy and on sleeping pills when he drove into the tree. Really, when you are the top-dog at your company people are usually after your ass and would love to take you down a peg. We've been there, trust us.

So anyway, we were thinking that Tiger might be a little worried about his image- and his paycheck. The world's greatest golfer makes his Cadillac payments from big companies-about 90% of the millions Woods earns are for endorsements - not for his golfing. His goody-golf shoes image as a married family man has been all but demolished by reports that he cavorted with women other than his wife. (Office romances- not a good idea if you want to keep your job.)

Tiger is holding onto his big bucks backers - at least for now- but we would like to reach out to him- and you. Here are some possible job opportunities for anyone who enjoys spending the day on the course can apply for if any of you lose your big paycheck. So get off the tee an apply NOW!

Fore!
(or seven or ten...we've lost count!)


Thursday, December 3, 2009

Size Matters!


Of course we''re talking jobs here, so get your mind out of the gutter.

Until recently, both of us lived in large cities, but a few months ago, one of us moved to a small town--- for a job! And we LOVE IT!

When we started looking to move away from the hustle and bustle, smog, crime and fast-food, we realized that there was employment outside of LA/NYC/LV and all the other big towns that we don't know the abbreviations for.

Beside jobs in nursing, newspapers, tourism and banking, you could possibly work from home and hell, you could always start growing stuff. (We don't want to know.)
If Eva and Eddie could move to Hooterville, you can too!

next time you're waiting for a bus or riding the subway or worse, stuck on the I5 for your 15-mile, 3 hour commute, think about riding your bike to work and getting home five minutes after quitting time . Cocktail hour will start on time for once!

So start perusing the Internet for gigs, buy our book AND a book about living in small rural towns (we don't condone moving to scary, back-water Deliverance-type towns) and start packing!


"Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside."

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Here are a couple of jobs to get you started! You are WELCOME!

Rockland, Maine:

Part-time Merchandisers Wanted!

We are looking for Merchandisers that have a positive attitude, strong work ethic, good communication skills and the ability to complete daily procedures and responsibilities without direct supervision. Candidates should be able to conduct store visits, have access to the Internet, have reliable transportation, and have the ability to lift up to 60 lbs.

To be considered for this opportunity, click APPLY NOW to submit your application online!

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Scottsbluff, NEB-

Permanent Occupational Therapist (OT) Job - Skilled Nursing Facility

Note: Results for the city in which a position is posted will be displayed as the closest metro area, as defined by the U.S. Government's statistical data on metro/micro areas (known as a CBSA) and their component counties. Although positions with Reflectx may exist in many small communities, they will be displayed on this site as the next largest city/county area in the job search results. Please contact Reflectx Staffing if you have questions about a specific position of interest.

Details

Start Date 11/18/2009
Discipline Occupational Therapist (OT)
Specialty Skilled Nursing Facility
Location Scottsbluff, Nebraska
Job ID 163743
Job Type Regular Full Time Employment
Description
Benefits Reflectx Services is the values based travel & professional occupational therapy placement staffing company that can find the OT job that you want, in the location of your choice, nationwide! We have jobs in all locations and all settings - Once we get to know you, we'll work as hard as we can until we find the perfect match, customized for you! At Reflectx, "We're Creating a Positively Different Experience...Together!" Reflectx Services is a values based, full service healthcare employment organization that can find the job that you want, in the location of your choice, nationwide! Once we get to know you, we'll work as hard as we can until we find the perfect match, customized for you! At Reflectx, we're creating a positively different experience -together!

To learn more about this position, call 800-806-6026, email pat@reflectxstaffing.com, or fax your resume to 866-224-7231 .

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And here's one that makes us giggle in Leadville, CO-



Job Title Sales Manager
Job Type Full-time Part-time
Hours Not Specified
Pay Type Hourly
Wages To Be Determined
Location 203 Mt View Dr
Leadville, CO 80461
kumandgo.com


A great site to get you started: http://www.wisebread.com/my-small-town-move-that-ended-the-job-search-blues

And of course- pre-order a copy of 'Thank You For Firing Me!" at BarnesandNoble.com for more tips on employment. barnesandnoble.com/


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Seniors: Can You Count? How does 1,000,000 Jobs Sound?


Can you still walk or is your Rascal Scooter street-worthy? Well if it is and the Social Security checks don't cover food after you hit the bingo parlor, then here's a great job for you!

The government is looking for millions of folks to pound (or roll) the pavement, knock on doors and count the populace as a CENSUS TAKER!

It's not too early to fill out your application as a 2010 U.S. Census worker. The good news is you won't slip on the ice and break a hip because most jobs won't begin until the spring.


There are five type of census jobs -- census takers, crew leaders, crew leader assistants, recruiting assistants, and census clerks. Most jobs will last several weeks. Applicants generally need to have a valid driver's license and, where public transportation is not available, use their own vehicles (mileage expenses will be paid). For census takers -- the largest category of jobs offered -- evening and weekend work is standard in order to find people at home.

You need to apply for a job through the census office closest to where you live. You can call (866) 861-2010 and, if you enter your ZIP code when prompted, your call will be routed to the nearest office. Or, you can obtain all the materials online. There is an interactive map with office locations. Pay ranges from $10 to $25 an hour and is keyed to wages in local markets. Once you've located the local office, call and schedule an appointment to apply for a position and take a 28-question employment test.

So if you're still with us and haven't wandered off to take a nap, check out the on-line application and earn some pocket money. http://2010.census.gov/2010censusjobs/pdf/BC-170D_fillable.pdf

The job is temporary but the hours might be long, so don't forget the Depends!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Don't Bogart that Textbook....


In our book, Thank You for Firing Me!* we stress that in this economy, going back to school isn't just for kids.


Turn your skills into something useful. Example: you are an out-of-work electrician-hello! Go back to school and turn that energy clean and green. Solar classes can be found at your local community college or online at places such as: http://www.solarclassesonline.com/

There are so many ways you can tweak your skills and bring them into the 21st Century, but our favorite has to be Weed University.

That's right, now that medicinal marijuana is legal in 13 states, there is a need for caring individuals to own, operate and work in pot pharmacies. In fact, one of our children finally found a job that was perfect for her: she works the front desk at a cannabis collective called Spectrum of Kindness. ( http://legalmarijuanadispensary.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&catid=121:north-san-diego-cannabis-clubs&id=2470:spectrum-of-kindness-cooperative&Itemid=118)

"Mom, it's such a great job and the people are so nice," she told us. She works long hours but she loves her job and calls herself "the weed fairy."

And she's not the only person out there collecting a paycheck from an agropharmacologist. (look it up.)

People of all ages- especially in Michigan, a state hit so hard by the recession-are looking to cash in on this job that helps people in pain. Heck, you're practically a saint if you dispense pot!

That fancy-pants newspaper, the New York Times recently published a front page article on Med Grow Cannabis College ( http://www.medgrowmi.com) proving that it's not just for breakfast anymore.

Nope people of all ages- including those in their 40's and 50's are looking to open their own legal pot biz and the cool Prez pretty much has given his blessing and told the feds to back off.

So, if you have a good business sense, a green thumb and can keep your hands off the product, then this is the job for you! Grab your back-to-school clothes, your text books and a roach clip and head back to school.

As the immortal Frank Sinatra once sang, "Doobie, doobie, doo!"

NYT article: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/29/education/29marijuana.html

* Pre-order Thank You for Firing Me! now at BarnesandNoble.com- http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/results.asp?WRD=thank+you+for+firing+me&box=thank%20you%20for&pos=0

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Talking Turkey!



Everyone is talking turkey today which is great- just what WE were thinking. Turkey...jobs... Jobs IN Turkey! HA! How clever are WE?

Anyhoo, if you're tired of pounding the pavement and running out of unemployment benefits perhaps you should get a job....get this...IN TURKEY!

Yep, we said Turkey. Seriously, what do you have going for you here? No girlfriend, no job, no apartment...HELLO! Move to Turkey! Why not...unless you're a woman. Maybe not so exciting. Unless you're married and don't mind wearing that whole burka thing, but you probably do.

So guys, back to the reason you're here...a JOB!

Here are some great gigs in that country called Turkey- gobble, gobble, gobble. Happy Thanksgiving! You can thank us later!

RECRUITING INFORMATION



We as Leeds Language Academy are recruiting native English teachers with a teaching certificate for private elementary and high schools all around Turkey.



The schools demand from teachers to work from 9am to 4pm all week days,to join workshop activities and meetings,to follow up a coursebook,to obey to the regulations of the school,to be enthusiastic and patient about teaching.Other terms will be discussable with the school.



You will be paying for your rent on your own.You will be helped about finding a place to stay.You will have your lunch at the school.At most, you will have 100 hours of classes monthly.You will be paid monthly.The school terms will be 8 months long.On holidays you will be free.In winter and in summer you will be joining some courses other than the school.You will be paid extra for these courses.These courses will be done by Leeds Language Academy.We have a lot of references about the things we do.It can be provided if needed.



The salary depends on the school.But at least it will be 2000 TL .You need to have a residence permit at first.Work permit is not necessary for the beginning.Schools will be helping you to get one if necessary.You will be getting a tax number and all your payments will be done to your bank account in Turkey.Bank accounts are available to natives by getting a tax number with their passports.



At first no payments will be done for the airfares.Later on depending on the performance of the teacher everything can be negotiable.We will be trying to let you have the best circumstances.



These are the brief details of being an English teacher in Turkey.If you are interested in becoming a teacher and would like to be in Turkey,we are here with our proposal.You can count on us.



References about our company can be provided.Please let us know asap.






Starting Date Sep 18, 09





Salary & benefits


Salary / month
2,000
U.S Dallar

Salary worth in other currencies
1,540
European Union Euro
3,220
Turkish Lira (TL)



Med Insurance Yes Partial No



Dental Insurance Yes Partial No



Severance Pay Yes No



Holidays -



Visa Sponsor Yes No



Airfare Yes No Negotiable



Housing Negotiable





Contact


Name
To see the contact points, please login or signup for free.

Tel

Website

Email

Address







A qualified CA/CPA with around 10 years of experience, few years of which should be locally, to head the Finance & Accounts Dept., of our overseas Project in Turkey. Experience in Logistics & Tranposrt will be an added advantage. Candidate must have sound knowledge in English and Turkish language (Read, write and speak) and will be within the age group of 35 to 45 years. Excellent packages and benefits for the right candidate.



Starting Date Jul 26, 09





Salary & benefits


Salary / month Negotiable



Med Insurance Yes Partial No



Dental Insurance Yes Partial No



Severance Pay Yes No



Holidays 30 days / year



Visa Sponsor Yes No



Airfare Yes No Negotiable



Housing Furnished - private





Contact


Name
To see the contact points, please login or signup for free.

Tel

Website

Email

Address










Sales Representative / Manager

Argentina
  • Buenos Aires:
  • Buenos Aires
  • Cordoba:
  • Cordoba
Brazil
  • Rio de Janeiro:
  • Rio de Janeiro
  • Sao Paulo:
  • Sao Paulo
China
  • Beijing:
  • Beijing
  • Hong Kong:
  • Hong Kong
  • Shanghai:
  • Shanghai
  • Kunming:
  • Kunming
  • Hangzhou:
  • Hangzhou
  • Xi'an:
  • Xi'an
  • Rural Areas:
  • Rural Areas
India
  • New Delhi:
  • New Delhi
Japan
  • Tokyo:
  • Tokyo
Romania
    Bucuresti (Bucharest)
Turkey
    Ankara, Istanbul, Izmir

Length of Position: Please contact us using the link at the top of the page for details.
Dates: Please contact us using the link at the top of the page for details.

Description: * Sales Representative
Following is the list of challenges the Sales Professional will face:
-Proactively search potential clients and present Basecent to them
-Manage all stages of the sales process
-Search, develop and manage customer relations and expectations
-Manage your own time and success for that matter

* Sales Manager
Following is the list of challenges the Sales Manager will face:
-Proactively search potential key clients and present Basecent to them
-Manage all stages of the sales process as well as a team of Sales Professionals
-Search, develop and manage customer relations and expectations
-Research, evaluate and recommend changes
-Report directly to the company HQ
-Create and execute local sales strategy

Highlights: * Sales Representative
The position of sales professional is a very challenging one. As Basecent network is constantly growing, we expect you to be active and up-to-date with
technology. You will be reporting directly to the company headquarter on a weekly basis via written report. You will have full freedom of your time and your earnings will be based on your success. Result-oriented bonus system
also applies.

* Sales Manager
The position of sales manager is a very challenging one. As Basecent network is constantly growing, we expect you to be active and up-to-date with
technology and be proficient in sales experience and presenting services/products to clients. In addition, you will manage a team of at least five (5) people at all time. You will have full freedom of your time and your earnings will be based on your success and the success of your team. You will be responsible for the local strategy and its execution. You will be reporting directly to the company headquarter on a weekly basis via written report. The report will include a written performance evaluation for each member of your team as well as recommendation as to how the work process can be improved.

Qualifications: * Sales Representative
You are the right candidate for the position if you:
- Have experience of at least two years in the area of sales
- Are positive, motivated, confident, proactive, always on the move
- Have good command of English as a second language /both verbal and written/
- Have working knowledge of Microsoft Office
- Want to meet the captains of various industries
- Are good communicator
- Are willing to take control of your own success

Note: We value loyal as well as proactive and enthusiastic people. All candidates will be treated in confidentiality. All candidates will be given an answer /positive or negative/ within 7 calendar days of their applications via e-mail.

Monthly Salary:Commission-based: 1,600 EUR /approx/

* Sales Manager
You are the right candidate for the position if you:
- Have experience of at least three years in the area of sales
- Are positive, motivated, confident, proactive, always on the move
- Have good command of English as a second language /both verbal and written/
- Have working knowledge of Microsoft Office
- Want to meet the captains of various industries
- Are good communicator
- Are willing to take control of your own success
- Are able and experienced in managing teams
- Are experienced in setting goals, analyzing markets, creating strategies and executing them
- Are a team player

Note: We value loyal as well as proactive and enthusiastic people. All candidates will be treated in confidentiality. All candidates will be given an answer /positive or negative/ within 7 calendar days of their applications via e-mail.

Monthly Salary:Commission-based: 2,500 EUR and up /approx/

Job Types :
  • Communications
  • Marketing, Ad, PR
  • Sales
  • Salary / Pay: Sales Representative - Evaluation Period (6 months): Commission-based: 1500 EUR / month / approx. Post-Eval. Period (ongoing): Salary + Commission-based bonuses Sales Manager - Evaluation Period (6 months): Commission-based: 2400 EUR / month / approx. Post-Eval. Period (ongoing): Salary + Commission-based bonuses

    Experience Required: yes

    Sales Representative - at least one year of sales experience Sales Manager - 2, pref. 3 to 5 years of sales experience

    This Program is open to Worldwide Participants.

    Typically Participants Work Independently or in Groups of 3-20

    Application Process Involves:

    • Essay
    • Online Application plus Application Assessment
    • Resume
    • Written Application

    Basecent's Mission Statement: To create an opportunity for you /businesses of all types and sizes/ to share information and communicate easily with each other and your both potential and existing clients through a comprehensive online-profile-based platform.

    Year Founded: 2009




    Are you interested in this jobs abroad program? CONTACT BASECENT



    For more jobs in....TURKEY...check out http://www.jobsabroad.com/Turkey.cfm