Thank You For Firing Me!

Thank You For Firing Me!
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Sunday, April 11, 2010

My Flight Attendent is so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

I mean seriously!

I know that in this economy everyone wants to continue working, but if you can't make it down the aisle without limping or your wide-bodied rear-end knocks some guys drink off his tray, perhaps it's time to take your itty-bitty pension and retire to a nice little condo in Bocca. I mean, you'll still have those free flight comps, right?

But while flying recently my flight attendents did not look like they could open the damn bag of peaunuts, so it did nothing to make me think they could  tackle a terrorist. Or hell, a belligerant grannny either! And the extra baggage one flight attendent was carrying made me wonder if her boss charged HER 25 extra bucks every time she brought that ass on board.

I'm not trying to be mean, but here's the deal.(I don't have to try) At some point Boomers, we've got to step aside and let X and Y have their turn. It's a matter of survival of the fittest. If you can't do your job, find one that you CAN do. It's not fair to the kids who need that piss-poor paying gig that you've held on to since your min-skirt became a potholder.

A recent report by the Bureau of Labor predicted that the

employment of cabin crew members is expected to grow about as fast as the average for all occupations through the year 2012. Population growth and an improving economy are expected to boost the number of airline passengers.

But old timers- ya gotta let it go!

So, below are a few high-flying gigs for those UNDER the age of my mom and with a little less junk in the trunk.

It's the only way to fly!

 Jobs for sky-high jobs!

Airline Inflight Resources, a professional recruiting company devoted exclusively to airlines. She can be reached by e-mail at

AND, jobs for your former hot-pants wearing stewdesses!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Tattoo On...Tattoo Off...for money!

Jobs for tattoo artists are becoming quite popular due to the umm, sexy ladies that have been appearing in People Magazine and E! Make no mistake about it, the tattoo industry is hot right now. There are an estimated 20,000+ parlors operating in the United States, according to a U.S. News & World Report article, which said, on the average, an establishment is being added in the country every day. The article ranked tattooing as the sixth fastest growing retail venture of the 1990s, right behind Internet, paging services, bagels, computer and cell phones.

I mean, who doesn't want to be covered from head to toe in ink with faeries and butterflies...and scary Nazi propaganda and monkey butts...well you get the drift. People have some crazy imaginations and tattoo artists are talented and creative and there is money out there for them to collect. Kids want them, teens want them, moms want them and home wreckers want them.....or do they?

Imagine you were a biker in the 70's and you thought it was cool to have a tattoo that reads. " Free Mustache Rides" on your forehead and now you are trying to get a job as a teacher at an all girls school? Yeah, not bloody likely, right? Or maybe you were an obscure tattoo model from San Diego who had an affair with some really nice woman's husband and now everyone in America thinks you're a skank and you can't even go to the 7/11 for ciggies because your tattoos give you away.

So that brings me to another job opportunity- and that would be- tattoo removal tech
 Because how embarrassing it is for your kids when you show up at the PTA with "This Bitch Doesn't Fall Off!" tattooed on your arms. Yeah, not so pretty now, is it?

So, artists, put the paper away and get yourself hired at a tattoo parlor--and the rest of you, find a way to erase those mistakes for a paycheck!

Zee Plane, Zee Plane! (Yeah, this has nothing to do with jobs, but it's Tattoo from Fantasy Island and I can't get it out of my head. Now you have it in yours. My gift to you.)

Tattoo Jobs

Tattoo Removal Jobs---

Tattoo Removal Training---