If you lost your job this week due to grabbing the ass of the gal in accounting during your Christmas party, don't feel too bad.
Imagine how Capt. Owen Honors commander of the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise feels.
I mean, all he did was demean gays and women. You know, many of the people he is in charge of?
It was a silly little mistake. Stimulating masturbation and exposing his Captain-Queeg balls in a lewd movie he then previewed to his entire crew was all about raising morale. Now he's been relieved of his command.
Where's the love Mr. President?
Maybe it's time to retire Mr. Honor. Seriously, there's no shame in calling it quits if your boss- the US Government- doesn't appreciate you OR your sense of humor, right? You need to find a place where you can express your creativity and your un-politically correct sense of humor. You need a job where you can spread your legs, er, wings and fly like the Top Gun you were meant to be!
So listen up Maverick, while it's still a fresh New Year, here are a few jobs just right for you. Think about it: you certainly don't want to end up flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong now do you?
Jobs for dis-honored Capt. Honors: