Monday, June 7, 2010
Your Job if You Decide to Accept It: Find Tipper a Date!
Let's face it---Al is going to have a hot babe on his arm by Father's Day, while Tipper is going to be staying up nights in that big-ass energy- wasting- house of hers looking for a guy on Match.com and hanging out with her neighbor Oprah snacking down on Costco-size bags of Cheetos's and Chardonnay.
I mean COME ON- I like her, but guys will immediately see that she's over 60, a few pounds overweight and everyone in the Free World knows she doesn't like dirty lyrics in her music. (They will no doubt figure she doesn't want to hear any nasty talk in the bedroom.)
They'll keep clicking until they find a girl who is waaaay to young for them, waaay to dumb for them and pick her, because everyone knows who the real Tipper is!
I think it's going to be a big job finding a man to replace Al. Oh sure he's kind of wooden, and 'that kiss' was kind of like watching your parents make-out-yuck- but he's rich, still has his hair, he loves chick-issues such as the environment and he's a BAZILLIONAIRE! So slam-dunk.
So, what I'm saying here is that you can make this very sad divorce for the Gore family into a very positive turn-of-events for YOU!
It's going to take someone with dating savvy to find Tipper a date. Someone with sense of humor because she was the 2nd Lady and she's probably a bit of a diva, but YOU COULD DO IT! (You've probably visited a few ahem, 'dating sites' since you were fired from your job, so you're kind of an expert by now, right?
Get this: Online dating has become a $1 billion a year business with tens of millions of users visiting dating sites in the U.S. every month. And as dating sites have become more popular, several online services have popped up to help users improve their chances of meeting people online which means, hence and furthermore, that there are jobs to be had with online dating sites!
Of course if you want the job of actually dating Tipper Gore, there's a site for you too... but remember...no dirty words!
Jobs at Match.com
And jobs at It's Just Lunch!
Jobs at eHarmony
And for all you Tipper Horndogs -- Majestic Males for Hire