Quit Yer Bitchen and Invent Yourself a Job!

Posted by Candice and Kitty on the January 14th, 2010

We know it's tough out there people, you can't find a job that pays even
60K and you would feel like such a loser if you took that, but here, let
us help you out.

Raise your right hand cheek level - NOW SLAP YOURSELF!
In the wise words of Miss Cher, 'GET OVER IT!

We mean, here's a little reality check. Are you living in your folks nice
basement for free? Driving a 10-year-old car? Living in a tiny apartment in very cha-cha Manhattan?

Well try living in HAITI!

Seriously!

So, now that we've channeled your mom, let's see if we can take you down a
new career path. Let's see....what can you do? We've got it!

You can INVENT/CREATE SOMETHING!

Wait, did you just roll your eyes at us? Because we're not doing this for
our health you know. We do have better things to do than find you a job.
We could umm, we could be.. well, that's none of your business, this is
about YOU not us!

Check it out: Thomas Edison didn't pop out of his mom's womb and run off
to invent the light bulb. Nope, he freaking sold candy and newspapers on
trains and later sold vegetables to keep from finding a real job while
he tried to invent things like the phonograph player (that's big iPod
for those of you who slept through History 101) and the motion picture
camera (camcorder Einstein) and of course, the light bulb.

Now, you don't have to invent something as super- cool as the Screaming
Super Simian Monkey Slingshot- http://tinyurl.com/29agr8- or the very
chic metal detecting sandals http://tinyurl.com/nlujd3, because people,
that's pure genius. But there are other ways to invent yourself a job.

Can you sew? Knit, bead or are you just plain crafty? Well get busy and
sell your crap, we mean crafts, that's what we meant, really- on Etsy. http://www.etsy.com/.
This is the coolest place to sell all your handmade stuff that you've
been giving as gifts at Christmas because you don't have any money to
buy us a real present. So, if you sell 20 of those itchy fuchsia
scarves you gave us for our birthday last year, you could have bought
us, oh I don't know? a pair of those awesome metal detecting sandals!

Just a tip.

If you want to set up your own virtual store to sell you stuff or even
your music, go to http://bigcartel.com/ and then send out a big
announcement to all your friends and family and you're in business.

So that's it for today kids. The reality of the job market out there is,
well, shitty, but if people listen to the authors of Thank You for
Firing Me!thankyouforfiringme.org someday everyone can stop riding the
subway to a job they hate and instead stay at home in their PJ's and
make a living. (well, except for scientists, you need to go to the lab.
OK and maybe construction workers, you have to go to a job. Oh and
airline people, you need to...Never mind, stop annoying us and get to
work!)
Oh, and here's a shout-out to the sellers of that cool light bulb hat at
foureyesjokeshop.com. Kudos to doing what you love to do!