Thank You For Firing Me!

Thank You For Firing Me!
Available in fine bookstores now!

Buy My Book Here!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Turn on the Weather Guy. Otherwise Rain Storm May Result in Your Untimely Death!

It's a few days after the Christmas holiday and it's snowing while one of us writes this. It was supposed to be sunny for at least one more week. Down South, where the other one of us lives it was supposed to rain but it's 65 and sunny!


We'll tell you WTF- we all turn to the weather person to tell us what to wear and how to plan our lives and for the most part, they get it wrong. Seriously, the weather guy up HERE looks outside and calls it-how tough is that? (
And the weather guy down South- John Coleman the weatherman at KUSI in San Diego, California, is quoted on his site saying "Being a TV weatherman in San Diego is an outrageous scam." Uh-huh.

As Nicholas Cage said in the movie, 'Weatherman', "My job's very easy, two hours a day, basically reading prompts. I receive a large reward for pretty much zero effort and contribution."

So there ya go! Great job, right?

But wait, it gets mo betta!

If you are hired as a weather person you can change your name to something like this:
Flip Spiceland, NBC WXIA, Atlanta, Ga.
Storm Field, WWOR (UPN), Secaucus, N.J.
Topper Shutt, WUSA (CBS), Washington, D.C.
Johnny Mountain, KCBS, Los Angeles
Sam Champion, WABC, New York, N.Y.
Joe Bastardi, AccuWeather
Dallas Raines, KABC, Los Angeles
Ray Ban, The Weather Channel
Rick Dickert, KTTV (FOX), Los Angeles

We figure that the basic job description of a weather reporter is to go on TV and guess what mother nature is about to do. How hard can that be?

Recently we heard a weather dude brag, "This is 67 percent accurate, plus or minus 10 degrees." So he is telling us the temperature in a range of 11 degrees only two thirds of the time. So accuracy doesn't count! Apparently this is the only job in the world where you can be
wrong on a daily basis and still have a job. As long as you have a flashy smile and come across as charming/crazy/sexy to the viewing audience you can keep predicting crap.

Where do we sign up?

So here's what we did. We braved the cold front and found some great weather jobs for you.
Don't thank us, just try and get the friggen weather right for a change.
I am so tired of wearing my hot pants out to the Ladies NRA luncheon
when it's 25 and snowing because I am just too damn dumb to look
outside and think for myself.
And this is our favorite because this is where all weather folks should end up!
Raytheon Polar Services-Experience Antarctica-

No comments:

Post a Comment