Thank You For Firing Me!

Thank You For Firing Me!
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Showing posts with label Employment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Employment. Show all posts

Sunday, May 30, 2010

BP CEO Tony Hayward May Soon Need a New Job....

I mean he's got to be the most hated guy  on this side of the pond....the really black, oily, yucky and dying pond.

With everyone, and I mean everyone pissed at this guy for some reason or another, I think he should have a backup plan for employment- just in case his back-up, back-up plan for cleaning up the damn disaster doesn't  work out.



  Speaking at Stanford business school last year, Mr Hayward said, "“BP makes its money by someone, somewhere, every day putting on boots, overalls, a hard hat and glasses, and going out and turning valves,” he said. “And we’d sort of lost track of that.” So maybe he can start there. (As the spill worsened, Hayward also said "I don't believe it should [result in a ban], in the same way as Apollo 13 did not stop the space program nor have serious airline accidents from time to time stopped people flying." So the job as a grief counselor is probably out.)

I found a job for a Natural Gas Leak Survey Technician, because I think after this he might want to go out into the field and put on that hard-hat a goggles- so that no one will recognize him!

But then I thought, perhaps after seeing all those fish and birds and effing dolphins wash up on shore , he might want to give back and get a job helping the very creatures that his company is trying to wipe out. Just a thought.




I figure a guy making can afford a couple of warehouses full of Dawn Dishsoap, which is used to clean the oil-covered animals, so here is a link for you Tony! http://www.deepwaterhorizonresponse.com/go/page/2931/46359/

But really, because this guy is really the biggest bloody wanker since the Earl of Bute (look it up) I think he should just be tarred and feathered- along with other ill-responsible BP mucketty mucks- and fired.  

BTW Tony, you should probably purchase a copy of Thank You for Firing Me! How to Catch the Next Wave of Success After You Lose Your Job. Pay special attention to Chapter 8- "Big Waves Ahead: Hot Green Industries Coming Your Way!" http://www.amazon.com/Thank-You-Firing-Me-Success/dp/1402769563


Oh, and if you are looking for a gig with this nasty company, or you just really, really need a job, go ahead an apply. Just don't tell your friends where you work.
www.bp.com/

Monday, February 15, 2010

Who's The Boss?

YOU ARE!

Or ahem...you were. But now, you're only the boss of you. LOL! And maybe the cat. You sit around the house now in your tie and jacket and your boxers hoping that your ex-assistant will call with a list of job offers. You wait for the phone to ring with your old USC buddy on the other line with a sweet CEO gig at the biggest bank /mortgage/insurance company IN THE WORLD and you wait. And you wait.
But here's a clue, oh deposed one...GET UP OFF YOUR ASS AND FIND YOUR OWN JOB~! Sheesh. You're not the king/boss anymore so until you get back into a corner office with a view of your fiefdom and peasants and that hot office assistant in a short skirt/tight Hugo Boss slacks...you're just like the rest of us. Unemployed. Jobless. Pathetic.
Not so great when it HAPPENED TO YOU NOW IS IT!!! Sorry, not very professional of us, but it's a little tough not to gloat after you were in charge of firing hundreds of workers, oh and quite possible US!. But, cause this is President's Day,  just this once we'll throw you a bone. We are an equal opportunity, umm, whatever we are. So we have some jobs listed here that you just might be qualified for. So pad that resume a little more, comb your hair grab your briefcase and get your ass moving! Hey, WAIT, get back in there and put on your pants....just like the rest of us!
http://www.associationjobs.com/
http://www.salary.com/careers/layouthtmls/crel_searchjob_EX05000001.html
http://www.hound.com/
http://www.jobsearchpage.com/info.php?jobid=2567426

Monday, January 18, 2010

Top Jobs of 2010?What Actually is an Actuary?


January 6th, 2010

We thought it had something to do with birds.
Nope.
According to a site called Careercast.com and the wallstreetjournal.com,being an actuary is about calculating statistics to determine probability and risk. YAWN! Oh sure, you make like 85K, which is what we sold our house in California for last year, but how exciting can that job be? Oh, and, according to the report, working on an oil rig as a roustabout is the worst, according to a study released on Tuesday. Yeah, all that physical exercise and sunshine can make life
really shitty.

We think these guys have it all wrong! So let's turn this thing upside
down, shall we?

The survey says! The worst jobs of 2010 are:
1. Roustabout
2. Lumberjack
3. Ironworker
4. Dairy farmer
5 Welder
6. Garbage collector
7. Taxi driver
8. Construction worker/laborer
9. Meter reader
10. Mail carrier
11. Butcher
12. Photojournalist
13. Firefighter
14. Sheet metal worker
15. Emergency medical technician
16. Stevedore
17. Reporter (newspaper) ? that hurts!
18. Sailor
19. Machinist
20. Choreographer

Wow- we see some elitism here. Damn, what's wrong with dairy farmer? OK, we get Stevedore, who wants to be gored by a bull? (not a bullfighter? Who cares, it's funny!) But sailor? What type
of sailor? The kind that cruises to Tahiti and back? The kind that drinks mai tais and has a chick in every port? Yeah, that sounds terrible! Wow, if you could actually aquire one of these jobs we think you would be happier than a pig in shit. Just saying.
But, if you were hired for one of these gigs:
1. Actuary
2. Software engineer
3. Computer systems analyst
4. Biologist
5. Historian
6. Mathematician
7. Paralegal assistant
8. Statistician
9. Accountant
10. Dental hygienist
11. Philosopher
12. Meteorologist
13. Technical writer
14. Bank officer
15. Web developer
16. Industrial engineer
17. Financial planner
18. Aerospace engineer
19. Pharmacist
20. Medical records technician

Whoa! Spasmatic! Lucky YOU!

Seriously? Dental hygienist? Accountant? Booooring! But hey, whatever. We want you all to find jobs, whether you are as dull as dirt or want to live on the edge. So here are a couple of jobs for all our fans. Boring or not. You're welcome!

Mudlogger- http://www.worldwideworker.com/job-details?job=105426
Dairy Farmer-http://www.agri-man.com/
Historian- http://tinyurl.com/ydqe44g
Bank Officer (seriously? We're sending you out of the country for this
one. It's safer.) http://jobs.efinancialcareers.com/job-4000000000587873.htm

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Funny Jobs 4 You!


We were going to go all, " White Collar" on you and advertise a bunch of Wall St jobs, but upon hearing that those money guys might just get ANOTHER bonus (FYI: people who have not received Christmas bonuses- The President, Kermit the Frog, Yours Truly.) we thought twice.

So, we thought that because they were getting said bonuses, it was almost funny. Or sad. OK Funny/Sad- which reminded us that comedians need jobs too.

We all need funny people and they need jobs! Unemployment is so, NOT funny!

We need humor and not everyone has the talent to make us laugh. And laughing, especially in these times, is important. Because really, when was the last time you walked out of movie because it was too damn funny?

Comedy needs to be take much more seriously. It has been reported that laughing may actually cure serious illnesses so these people, in our opinion, by all rights, should be paid as much as doctors! Are we right here?

So here's a joke and then we have jobs for the funny people. People who don't laugh at those who slip and fall, a pie in the face or former politicians who write books, need not apply. Those people should go back to working on Wall St-enjoy your bonus.
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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
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  • Address: 1503 Chartres St., Houston, TX 77003 (map)
  • Date Posted: 12/12/09
  • Job Type: Freelance;
Description

Are you a creative musician, singer, poet, comedian? Start to an investment, showcase and perform your talent in local Houston venues. We are in need of artist for the next Indie Artist Music Festival which is a regional cultured development of Artist of any form. We are hosting auditions and interviews, please respond to this posting, with the title in the subject line for more information. We encourage Artist who have established job related paraphernalia such as: demo cd’s and business cards, or any paraphernalia that indicates your commitment to your craft.

Ad ID: 1068289

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next New Networks is calling for head shots/reels for New York area comedians, actors/bloggers with strong improv backgrounds. We're casting for 2 shows and need both males and females.

1) A semi-scripted satire of late night talk shows.

2) A talk show in the style of the View, but with a focus on the frivolous. Each week the show will discuss the latest pop culture trends from Twilight to the Balloon Boy. We're looking for comedians/funny people who will have strong opinions and are willing to fight to the death for Team Edward or Team Jacob. This is not for the faint of heart.
Pilots are being shot soon so get your head shots / reels in quickly !

Send in your resume/reel/ headshot to Rob@NextNewNetworks.com

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COMEDIANS READ THIS!! THE COMEDY STORE NEEDS YOU FOR FRI NIGHT SHOWS ! (Hollywood (World Famous Comedy Store))


Date: 2009-11-23, 3:29PM PST
Reply to: job-qebbb-1479554581@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Showcase your stand up comedy talent and perform in a show at The Comedy Store
on the red hot sizzling Sunset Strip on the best night of the week!

FRIDAY NIGHTS!

The Long Running Hit Comedy Show, "FUNNY FRIDAYS" show now in it's 4th
year at THE WORLD FAMOUS COMEDY STORE is looking for new comics !!

In the "Belly Room" where Whoopi Goldberg, Jim Carey, Roseanne & Sam Kinison
honed their talent.

Get your fans, agents, managers, producers, directors, casting
directors, friends and family to come see you PERFORM YOUR STANDUP
COMEDY with well known comics froms MADtv, Comedy Central, Last Comic
Standing, Showtime, Def Comedy Jam, PDiddy's Bad Boys of Comedy and HBO
and at the same time meet people in the comedy biz and open doors to
showcase your talent.

We have drop-ins from INDUSTRY come in recently to check out
our show to see comics such as the following:

- Agent(s) from ICM
- Talent scout from the Jimmy Kimmel Show
- A casting director from Liberman Patton that casts 5 TV shows and
cast one of our comics on the TV show: 'Medium'

We're bookng talented male and female comics now !!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WE ARE CURRENTLY BOOKING COMEDIANS FOR THE FOLLOWING FRIDAY DATES:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nov 09 - 27th - "BLACK FRIDAY" THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN BOOKING THIS SHOW PLEASE DO SO ASAP AS IT'S FILLING UP QUICKLY...WHAT A BETTER TIME TO HAVE YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES THAT ARE IN FOR THE HOLIDAYS COME AND SEE YOU PERFORM!!!
Dec 09 - 4th
Dec 09 - 11th
Dec 09 - 18th
Jan 10 - 8th
Jan 10 - 15th
Jan 10 - 22th
Jan 10 - 29th
-------------------

TO GET BOOKED PLEASE SEND AN EMAIL TO: FUNNIFRIDAYS@AOL.COM

WITH YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION AND WEBSITE OR MYSPACE LINK IF YOU HAVE IT.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

TV Comedy Writer Needed

Company :National Daily Television Show
Location :California>Los Angeles
Category :Writer>Other

Position :Full Time
Experience :0-2 Yrs Entry Level
Salary :unspecified

National Daily Television Show is looking for Comedy Writers with at least 4-6 years of television writing experience. Applicants should be pop culture junkies who can appreciate the comedic sensibilities of current popular talk show hosts. Think you are the right person for the job? Send a cover letter and resume to SendUsARe***join for full access***














Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Seniors: Can You Count? How does 1,000,000 Jobs Sound?


Can you still walk or is your Rascal Scooter street-worthy? Well if it is and the Social Security checks don't cover food after you hit the bingo parlor, then here's a great job for you!

The government is looking for millions of folks to pound (or roll) the pavement, knock on doors and count the populace as a CENSUS TAKER!

It's not too early to fill out your application as a 2010 U.S. Census worker. The good news is you won't slip on the ice and break a hip because most jobs won't begin until the spring.


There are five type of census jobs -- census takers, crew leaders, crew leader assistants, recruiting assistants, and census clerks. Most jobs will last several weeks. Applicants generally need to have a valid driver's license and, where public transportation is not available, use their own vehicles (mileage expenses will be paid). For census takers -- the largest category of jobs offered -- evening and weekend work is standard in order to find people at home.

You need to apply for a job through the census office closest to where you live. You can call (866) 861-2010 and, if you enter your ZIP code when prompted, your call will be routed to the nearest office. Or, you can obtain all the materials online. There is an interactive map with office locations. Pay ranges from $10 to $25 an hour and is keyed to wages in local markets. Once you've located the local office, call and schedule an appointment to apply for a position and take a 28-question employment test.

So if you're still with us and haven't wandered off to take a nap, check out the on-line application and earn some pocket money. http://2010.census.gov/2010censusjobs/pdf/BC-170D_fillable.pdf

The job is temporary but the hours might be long, so don't forget the Depends!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Be More Famous Than Levi Johnston!




Become Santa Claus for dollars this Holiday Season!


Earn Money as the hottest guy in the WORLD!



Look, little Levi is cute and everything, but Santa has been popular for like 1000 years or something, and this year's Playgirl centerfold will be next year's " where is he now?" question on 'Are you Smarter than a 5th grader?'!

You may not get paid vacations or health care, but the gig is short-term and you can go back on unemployment after you return all the Christmas gifts your mom gave you for cash. As far as perks go, you get to sit on a throne, you have your own dressing room, and hot mom's will occasionally sit on your lap!

So apply now or buy a suit and go freelance. The choice is yours- Ho, Ho, Ho!

***********************************************************************************
Seasonal
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Santa Claus needed at College Square Mall. Background check and drug testing required. Real beard preferred but not necessary for Santa.
815-284-3211 or e-mail at info@grotis.com.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town,and he needs your help!

Cherry Hill Photo Enterprises, Inc. runs the Santa Photo Set in local malls across the United States and Canada.

Looking for Real Bearded Santa Characters.( Costume Provided)

Must be customer oriented and enjoy working with children. Good attention to detail. No prior experience is required, but helpful. We train all employees

If interested please email nbishop@cherryhillphoto.com


Job Opportunities for Professional Santas

SantaForHire.com® is a Talent Agency for Professional Santas.
If you are interested in SantaForHire.com® becoming your Talent Agency, please complete this application form and mail or fax it to SantaForHire.com 232 via Eboli Newport Beach CA. 92663, fax number (949) 673-1030 or e-mail your application and photos to:

SantaJobs@santaforhire.com.

For more Santa Jobs check out: http://santanewsjournal.com/job-opportunities/ OR

http://www.santaclausandcompany.com/employment.php


Just be sure to tell him that we've been naughty and nice!

Pre-order a copy today at Barnes& Noble.com

Sunday, November 15, 2009

We have a New Blog Site...Kind of Like Having A New Job! Check Us Out!


Analysts polled by Reuters Surprised by Jump in Jobless Rate…
April 2, 2009 ·

then maybe they should be fired!


I mean really, have they looked out the window? There are people walking around with no place to go!

“The number of U.S. workers filing new claims for jobless benefits surged to a nearly 26-1/2 year high last week, data showed on Thursday, indicating that the pace of job losses was yet to peak.

At the same time, the number of laid-off workers collecting state unemployment benefits jumped to a record high in March, the Labor Department said, as the recession now in its 16th month makes it tough to find a new job.”

Hmm, lets take a deep breath and think about this for a moment. Jobless can also mean… ‘vacation’ or ‘retired’ right? Summer is coming up and I am almost certain that the folks in one of those Dakota’s where it’s still snowing would like to have a job floating down the Colorado River or serving mai-tai’s on a cruise ship. And I’m just guessing, but I think most of us would love to do exactly that!


And you can!

There are still people with money out there—not just you or me—and they take vacations to resorts in Hawaii and to Arizona and to Florida and hell, I don’t know where rich people go because I’m not rich, but we can figure it out together.

Okay, I figured it out. (I couldn’t wait for you.)

Here are some fun summer jobs-HIRING NOW- that may not earn you big bucks but you can get a tan and maybe have a summer romance with a wealthy countess.

Have fun and don’t forget to send us a postcard!

AMERICAN WHITEWATER EXPEDITIONS
(Coloma, California)

Seasonal (Spring – Summer)

American Whitewater Expeditions is based in Coloma, California right on the banks of the South Fork American River. American Whitewater offers rafting, kayaking, and riverboarding trips for folks ages 6 – 80+ years on the North, South, and Middle Forks of the American River and the Stanislaus River.

SPECIFICS: American Whitewater hires 10 to 15 new employees each year, part time and full time. We need river guides, retail clerks, a reservation assistant (computer trained), Class B shuttle drivers, and someone trained in vehicle and raft repair. The season is April through September with allowances made for students’ schedules. Pay rate depends on experience level and position desired. Please inquire.

INSIDER TIPS: Prior guiding experience or attendance at a guide’s school is required for raft guide positions. Our guide’s school is during the week prior to Easter Sunday. There is a discount for students and teachers. If you like fast flowing rivers and consider yourself an outgoing, personable ‘people’ person then we would like you to join our staff.

PERKS: Inexpensive accommodations, use of rafts and gear during free time, all meals while working on a trip, and close to Tahoe, Yosemite, and California’s wine country.

TO APPLY: Send a detailed resume and current photo. We will contact you via mail at once. Contact: Jon Osgood, American Whitewater Expeditions, P.O. Box 4280, Sunland, CA 91041-4280
(818) 352 – 3205.

———————————————————————————————-

Working at Wilderness Aware
Colorado Summer Rafting Jobs
Outdoor Adventure and Student Employment

Thank you for your interest in employment with Wilderness Aware Rafting.

We are now accepting applications for our 2009 river season. Applications will be accepted until March 1st, 2009.

If you are interested in becoming a river guide, please note that previous rafting experience is NOT necessary. We will provide you with all of the necessary training needed to turn you into a top quality professional river guide.

See what some of our former guides have to say about their experiences at Wilderness Aware. Drew’s Letter, Koni’s Letter

Wilderness Aware Rafting will hire self-starting, creative, friendly, dedicated and hard working applicants. Applicants should be prepared to be team players and become professional river guides working to exceed our guests’ expectations.

We will also be hiring a few exceptional individuals to join our successful team of Customer Service Representatives and Shuttle Drivers.

If you’re interested in joining us in Colorado for the summer of you life, use the links below to fill out an application or to learn more about working at Wilderness Aware Rafting.

* Information on our Guide Interview Trips and our Hiring Process
* Guide Application and Guide Interview Trip Registration Form
* River Guide’s Job Description and Pay Scale
* Information for Experienced River Guides
* Salt River Jobs – Experienced Guides Only!
* Customer Service Representative – Job Description
* Customer Service Representative – Application
* Shuttle Driver – Job Description
* Shuttle Driver – Application

Another Post from the Former Jobs4YourFiredAss Site



New Foreign Jobs in Exotic…
March 19, 2009 ·

Afghanistan!

That’s right—- hundreds of civilians will be needed to help with the new administrations surge into that rather dodgy side of the world.

Back-up personnel for diplomats and military officers should apply- but not if you’re gay (they don’t really approve). Oh, and if you’re a woman and you don’t mind being dressed from head-to-toe in heavy cloth with only your eyes peeking through this is a job for you!

Sure times are tough in this economy but if you really want a job they’re out there! So don’t be all, “there aren’t any jobs in this horrible economy and I really want to work but there just isn’t anything for me and this President isn’t helping me at all and wah, wah wah.”

Don’t be a pussy. Apply now!

http://tinyurl.com/ceamze

Older Posts Once Again From Our 'Other Site."


Out of Work but Totally Trendy!
November 18, 2008 · Leave a Comment



Dude- the bad news is you’re unemployed. The good news is that you’re finally cool. Being without a job is like, all trendy. Everyone is doing it!

You know how it seems like you buy the cool clothes right as they go out of style? Remember the mullet you finally talked yourself into getting……a decade too late? And you finally saved enough money to buy that Hummer? Yeah, that’s what we’re talking about. Always a step behind right?

But not now! You got laid off. So have like, 1.2 million people. Tight!

And now, like the coolest president-elect ever held his first radio address on YouTube last Saturday and what did he talk about?

YOU!


That’s right, he spoke about getting people…like YOU…back to work. He talked about helping people to reinvent themselves so they can find jobs in the green movement and other thriving industries. Out with the old, all across the board!

So check out the pages we have here or heck, checkout other jobs sites, and get back to work. And don’t feel bad. If you had to lose your job, you picked the perfect time to do it. Really, two years ago your creditors would have come and taken you to debtor jail, now they speak to you like understanding human beings. Last year people would have called you a loser. Now they call you cool. (OK, maybe they still call you a loser but it could be a personal problem.) But don’t wait to long, another trend is right around the corner.

So get (back) to work!

Cool Jobs of the Week

http://www.cruiseshipjob.com/jobs.htm—there are a bunch of them!

Safeway Inc has 2 WINE STEWARD openings!!!

The two available Wine Steward Positions are at:
4515 SE Woodstock, Portland 97206 (store 1523) and
12032 SE Sunnyside Rd, Portland 97015 (store 1231)

Apply now at Safeway.com or at our in store hiring kiosks. For additional information on this position, please contact Safeway’s Employment Specialist at Karla.Reynolds@Safeway.com


Greenpeace is currently hiring motivated and confident individuals to build its grassroots power.FULL-TIME AND PART-TIME POSITIONS AVAILABLE keywords: full-time, part-time, students, grads, graduates, environment, environmental, social change, progressive, global warming, peace, summer, year-round, amazon, forests, toxic technology, learn, career, principles, Greenpeace, green, oil dependence, renewable energy

And this one because we found it very interesting! Too bad OUR eggs are out of business!

JEWISH EGG DONOR NEEDED by LOVING JEWISH COUPLE $20,000+ALL EXPENSES PAID
Reply to: lovetogiveandshare@yahoo.com

Older Posts from The Best Job Blog Out There!


You just lost your Job? Sweeeeet!
November 11, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Lemme ’splain Lucy.

First off, today’s headlines are once again scaring the bajezuz out of everyone, but not your trusty anti-career experts!



Okay, so Global delivery company DHL announced today that it was cutting 9,500 jobs as it discontinues air and ground operations within the United States AND U.S. financial services and brokerage companies are threatening to lay off another 70,000 workers AND Circuit City is talking about ‘restructuring’ the company (read: layoffs) but hey, it’s all good!

This is the perfect time for forward-thinking individuals—PSST, THAT’S YOU! If you were just sacked or are about to be canned this is a tremendous opportunity to reinvent yourself rather than worrying about all the headlines of recession and downturn. (Except our headlines of course.)

When we talk about ‘reinvention,’ it’s not something crazy like quitting your job as a highly paid, highly stressed surgeon and running away with the circus…like this guy we know named Dr. Dare who used to replace heart valves and now gets shot out of a cannon …but something like that.

Trying to reinvent yourself into something that you think you “ought to” do is not a good idea. Any change process involves hard work, set-backs and even hitting brick walls. Like Dr Dare.

If you’re chasing after another job which you have little enthusiasm for, then you have little chance of success. Or worse, you’ll get that piece-of-crap job and be miserable.

So focus on identifying roles which involve activities which you enjoy. Jobs which will utilize the skills which you enjoy using and enable you to work with the people you enjoy hanging out with.

But we do get that you have to eat. Reinvention isn’t something you can do in a weekend and jobs are not being found on every street corner, but they are out there. Maybe you will have to take a crappy job to tide you over until your ‘dream job’ can be obtained. So go ahead, it won’t kill you, but don’t become too attached. This is the perfect time to start over. We have a new administration and a new attitude swirling out there in the cosmos so get out there a find out how you can make a career doing what you love….just like Dr. Dare!

Job Listing:

Since we got on this circus kick, here is a school where you can learn to ‘fly through the air with the greatest of ease….” or something like that.

http://www.circuscenter.org/index2.html

AND, here are some circus job listings for just about everyone including dancers, techies and administrative folks.

http://www.cirquedusoleil.com/jobs/en/default.asp

http://www.feldentertainment.com/opening.htm

and one more…

http://www.bigapplecircus.org/utility/employment.aspx

Guess What? Ding, Ding, Ding! Older Posts!


Apparently we need to get F***ing serious now!
November 7, 2008 · 2 Comments

How is this even happening?

Seriously, we have president-elect Obama on the job, a boss who is offering ‘Hope’ and ‘Change’ and all things rosy, yet the economy plunges deeper into the abyss?

WTF?

Everyone is reporting that the unemployment rate finally climbed to 6.5% — the highest in 14 years — making it nearly impossible for the clowns in Washington to continue to deny that we’re headed 100 mph smack into a wall of recession.

Those photos of folks standing in the unemployment line on A1 is depressing as hell. In fact in brings back memories of your anti-career specialists standing in one of those lines back in, ummm…when did we last get unemployment? 1981?

That’s because we have about 3 jobs each. Good jobs, decent paying jobs. Nothing like a gig on Wall St….or a money-making mortgage firm or a snazzy real estate office….oh wait, those jobs are disappearing as fast as the office supplies in the White House.

Sure this economy sucks and with $1 million jobs lost this year the outlook is, well, f***ed.

Or is it?

Here’s the thing. None of our friends are out of work. Well, actually, a bunch of them lost their jobs this year, heck, we even lost a few between us, but everyone is working. Making a buck. Paying the mortgage. (Sort of.) The fact is, there ARE jobs out there, just maybe not the same exact job that you just lost.

Here, let us explain.

Our friend Carlos was an electrician in a big fancy building in San Francisco but he lost his job six months ago when the building co-op board decided to find a less expensive contractor. Fine, so Carlos looks around and finds a job installing solar panels in Los Angeles. He took a two-day course on how to install those puppies wa-la! He’s already moved up in the company and some day hopes to own his own solar installation business.

Okay, not convinced?

Sarah, a friend from school was a mover and shaker in real estate. She had the Beemer and the big-ass house over-looking the Pacific…but two years ago she saw the Four Horsemen of the real estate Apocalypse charging towards her McMansion and she freaked! (wouldn’t you? ) Anyway, she pretty much saw the writing on the wall and tried to figure out what else the hell she could do besides tricking young couples into buying homes they couldn’t afford. (Let’s not even talk about the Karma.) Sarah thought and she thought and while she was thinking her mom went into an assisted living joint. Sarah thought it stunk like urine and the four grand she was paying for mom seemed to be a tad over-the-top for what they were getting. LIGHT BULB MOMENT!

Sarah made one last sale—her own home—and bought a smaller one inland for a pittance. She hired an RN who was sick of working in a big hospital and young staffers and filled the four rooms of the cute new assisted living home she created with old folks who have cash. Business was so good she bought another and another. Sarah now owns 5 assisted living houses and spends quality time with mom while she’s at it.

These are just a couple of examples, and starting today, we’re going to list more and more jobs, but we need YOU to be creative. Stop thinking about getting another job exactly like the one you just lost. Screw that! Re-invent yourself into someone that has an enjoyable career. Would it kill you to have fun at work? (no is the proper answer.)

So stop reading the damn paper (the election is over, so save your 50 cents because you don’t have it!) and read us instead. Send us your comments AND your job postings. If we all hold hands and sing Kumbaya, we can turn this unemployment thingy around. Really, if we can help an African-American nab the most important job in the world we can certainly find you a new career. (Yes we helped in the voting booth, thank you very much!)