Rush to Send out Resume?

Oh my, my, my. 

We've all said some things at work that we regret, but Rush Limbaugh- "Maha Rushie*" really put his foot in it. Everyone knows what he said, including his sponsors AOL, Sleep Mattress, LegalZoom and so many more, so we won't be repeating it here on Jobs4yourfiredAss.

The odds of "The Doctor of Democracy*" actually being kicked to the curb are pretty low- free speech, ya'll- but stranger things have happened. (Lindsey Lohan getting a new movie gig for one!)

Because I love everyone who needs a job equally (fingers crossed behind my back) here are some suggestions for " Da-Man - your President - “Osama-Obama” doesn’t want you to listen to*,” in case Clear Channel finally says "Adios." I am an equal opportunity job-finder.

Good luck  "El Rushbo.*" You're gonna need it.

JOBS FOR  “Chief Waga-Waga of the Conservo Tribe*”

No-Brainer-  http://www.strates.com/carnival-jobs-employment-information.htm


Lay low for a while - http://www.infomine.com/careers/jobs/r3c50/greenland.jobs.aspx

and the most obvious job for redemption: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-systems/employment-opportunites-28073.htm

 

* Nicknames Rush has given himself.

General Jobs for Fired Generals

You know, no matter how indispensable you THINK you are, your ass can still be fired. I mean, sure you can come in late and take long-ass lunches and steal an office supply or two. Maybe you can even get away with drinking too much at the office Christmas party, but when it comes to covering up the death of a  professional football star-turned-star Army volunteer-- Pat Tillman-- killed by friendly fire and then diss your boss in Rolling Stone Magazine, well dude, I mean come on! Just because you wear a fancy suit with stars and ribbons and have a your own Jeep and a lot of people working under you doesn't mean you get to be a complete asshole and not get your comupance.

But, now that you've found yourself out on the street with the million of other folks who are jobless, take your pension and free-lifetime health care and look for another job. Hell, your wife probably doesn't want to give up those PX shopping privaleges so you better get back to work.

Lucky for you I have sympathy for your digressions because I think you've probably learned from your mistakes. (You know like don't cover up deaths and don't call out the Prez in magazines for stoner's. Just reminding you.)

With that said and moving on, put on some real clothes, say Dockers and a golf shirt, have a beer, tell your posse to go home and check out these jobs fit for a general. At ease soldier!

General Mills- mycereal.com/corporate/careers/index.aspx

General Dynamics- http://www.generaldynamics.com/employment/employ_menu.htm 


General Tool & Supply Co- http://www.allportlandjobs.com/JobSeekers/EmployersProfile.aspx?EmployerId=33381a16-e0b9-4e4c-8001-3e93a595e82d


General Store- http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobDetails.aspx?ipath=EXIND&siteid=cbindeed&Job_DID=J3I1DC6410QLPQMC2KJ&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=467c5a85d1294b62975df5675a544770-330699423-RG-4

Older Posts Once Again From Our 'Other Site."

Out of Work but Totally Trendy!
November 18, 2008 · Leave a Comment



Dude- the bad news is you’re unemployed. The good news is that you’re finally cool. Being without a job is like, all trendy. Everyone is doing it!

You know how it seems like you buy the cool clothes right as they go out of style? Remember the mullet you finally talked yourself into getting……a decade too late? And you finally saved enough money to buy that Hummer? Yeah, that’s what we’re talking about. Always a step behind right?

But not now! You got laid off. So have like, 1.2 million people. Tight!

And now, like the coolest president-elect ever held his first radio address on YouTube last Saturday and what did he talk about?

YOU!


That’s right, he spoke about getting people…like YOU…back to work. He talked about helping people to reinvent themselves so they can find jobs in the green movement and other thriving industries. Out with the old, all across the board!

So check out the pages we have here or heck, checkout other jobs sites, and get back to work. And don’t feel bad. If you had to lose your job, you picked the perfect time to do it. Really, two years ago your creditors would have come and taken you to debtor jail, now they speak to you like understanding human beings. Last year people would have called you a loser. Now they call you cool. (OK, maybe they still call you a loser but it could be a personal problem.) But don’t wait to long, another trend is right around the corner.

So get (back) to work!

Cool Jobs of the Week

http://www.cruiseshipjob.com/jobs.htm—there are a bunch of them!

Safeway Inc has 2 WINE STEWARD openings!!!

The two available Wine Steward Positions are at:
4515 SE Woodstock, Portland 97206 (store 1523) and
12032 SE Sunnyside Rd, Portland 97015 (store 1231)

Apply now at Safeway.com or at our in store hiring kiosks. For additional information on this position, please contact Safeway’s Employment Specialist at Karla.Reynolds@Safeway.com


Greenpeace is currently hiring motivated and confident individuals to build its grassroots power.FULL-TIME AND PART-TIME POSITIONS AVAILABLE keywords: full-time, part-time, students, grads, graduates, environment, environmental, social change, progressive, global warming, peace, summer, year-round, amazon, forests, toxic technology, learn, career, principles, Greenpeace, green, oil dependence, renewable energy

And this one because we found it very interesting! Too bad OUR eggs are out of business!

JEWISH EGG DONOR NEEDED by LOVING JEWISH COUPLE $20,000+ALL EXPENSES PAID
Reply to: lovetogiveandshare@yahoo.com