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Thursday, November 19, 2009

How Bad Do You Really Want a Holiday Job?

Crowds, screaming children, swine-flu germs....but hey, if you need the money now is the time!
People might not be spending like its 1999, but you can't really have Christmas/Hanukkah without presents , so the malls will be swarming with shoppers. This in turn means stores need temp workers and you don't need a hell of a lot of experience because they're going to fire your ass come January 1, 2010 anyway. But, since you're used to being unemployed it won't hurt your feelings.

So get out there and get a job! No excuses! Whether you have to give samples of cheese and wieners dressed as an elf to smart-ass kids or help old ladies try on bras, it's a paycheck. (We used to work in the Large Ladies Underwear Bargain Basement so quit yer bitchin!)

Go online and apply for as many jobs as you can (hurry- do it NOW) but a good bet is to pull up your pants and put on a belt and clean shirt and go from store to store and in your nicest voice say, "Excuse me, are you hiring holiday help?" Ignore the sneer from the 19-year-old manager, take the application and when you have 10 or more go to the Hot-Dog-On-A-Stick and fill out the applications. Drop them off on your way home and then do it again the next day on the other side of town. (We have teens- we've given this speech before!)

So go for it and don't spend all your damn money on your girlfriend because she's probably going to dump you after Christmas anyway.


Nordies is the big score- decent pay and deep discounts. Score one of these coveted gigs and send us a shirt from Brass Plum please- size medium.

The rich boys on Wall Street still buy the bling for their wifey (and mistress) so hit up Tiffany & Co. and don't steal anything.

Apply online:

Do you look good in brown? UPS is hiring for the season- get out there and put on the shorts.

Description: Openings for Part-Time Package Handlers (varied shifts throughout the day), or, Seasonal Driver Helpers (Days, 8am-8pm, weekends off, Thanksgiving to Christmas).
Apply online:

Wal-Mart---OK, we wouldn't apply here, but you're probably more desperate than we are. Try not to get killed by a stampede of crazy, overweight people who think they need one more damn TV for the double-wide. The good news is you only have to work here for 40 days. Try not to look anyone directly in the eye and you'll make it.
Wal-Mart Employment: Jobs:
Wal-Mart employment information including job openings, the Wal-Mart employment application, company locations, and how to apply online is available at
Wal-Mart Career Information

For more holiday part-time gigs check out:

Oh, and for a GREAT holiday gift- check THIS OUT!!!

Enjoy the Job! Happy Holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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